Halfway Real
by Joker-is-sexy
Summary: She had known Jonathan Crane as the bullied bookworm that did not fit in during high school. Years later, she accepts a job at Arkham and is surprised to find Crane is her coworker. He then uses her to aid in his experiments, but of course she doesn't realize this. She thinks he wants to rid the world of fear and be able to control happy emotions. Crane/"Oc" pairing. No fluff.
1. Unwanted Relations

I know it says "Original Character", but... well.. You'll see. No Mary Sue here. No fluff. No normal romance. All batman, all the time.

I'm using Nolan universe Dr Crane, which really didn't have a whole lot of screen time so trying to figure out his character in _every_ single aspect will be a bit of challenge, because this is certainly similar to the comic version for the Scarecrow part of his character, but not the Dr. Crane part of it. This Dr. Crane is way too pleasing to the eye to be the comic version. His ugliness throughout his life is what caused him to be the way he was and give him the social status he had in the comic books, which drove him to become the Scarecrow. And also in the comics, Dr Crane was most definitely around 40 years old, Cillian's Dr Crane was in his early twenties. So on that note, when I have the first few chapters explaining all previous interaction between the main character and Jonathan Crane throughout the elementary, high school, and younger years I made it so he was a very ugly looking child/teenager that later in life would develop into the good looks he later had. Which would be hard since he is good looking, but nothing like long greasy hair and hormonal driven acne to solve that problem!

I'm going to try to keep this as realistic as possible, as I don't think on his list of priorities, physical interaction is anywhere near the top. I think he'd be more interested in a person's mind more than what they looked like. He is one of the more normal acting villains in the batman universe in my opinion. After being shown up by the Joker on crazy level, I'm sure he's capable of a relationship of some sort. Not a particularly normal one, but non the less an awkward not very physical one? Well see. I'm not sure how I am going to play out this story.

As for the tense of this story, it will be in third person, but the first few chapters will be one big explanation story of the main character talking, so about two or three chapters will be in first person. Basically this story starts in the middle of the story, flashes back to before the story 'really' begins, flashes back to the middle of the story and then flashes back to where the story really begins. Confused? It will make sense.

* * *

Twenty minutes had passed. Twenty long minutes of nothing.

She stared at her silent patient, strapped the to chair across from her. He was mindlessly twitching every so often and small droplets of saliva would fall down onto his orange jumpsuit darkening the wrinkled fabric where it would land.

She sighed and removed her glasses, placing them on the table in front of her. She let her hand push the falling strands of her auburn hair back into her tight ponytail. She finally decided to break the silence.

"How about I tell you more about myself? Will that make you tell me a little about yours?" She proposed.

She had set up this session, for a reason and not one to benefit the patient but herself. Her mind was boggled and clouded with all her thoughts. She needed to talk to someone, but a therapist was out of the question. Knowing that one of her patients was unable to understand a thing she would say to him, was more than perfect for her. She could figure out her thoughts out loud, talk to someone about it, and not have to worry about their judgment.

"I'm going to tell you a story, about my interactions with a doctor you may even have yourself sometimes Phil." She feigned a smile at him, feeling as if when she spoke to him it sounded like she was speaking to a puppy. "You ever have Dr. Crane?"

A bigger strand of drool rolled out of his mouth. She took that as a yes.

"Well, before I came to work here I knew him. It was a shock when I saw his name on the list of doctors here. The name came into my sight upon first entering through the double glass doors of Arkham Asylum.

After being told to wait in one of the stained and tattered chairs, for my new boss to greet me I looked at my surroundings to take in my new place of work. There on the bleak white walls of the entrance were gold plated names with papers hung in a glass frame above them. The doctor's names all were there as well as their degree papers and what they specialized in. I scanned through the names, wondering if I would see one I recognized.

And there it was.

Doctor Jonathan Crane.

I hadn't seen him since my senior year in high school. I thought to myself, 'So he really did do something good with all his knowledge and wisdom. A doctor.' I wondered if he would even recognize me."

She looked at his unchanging face, still looking at the back wall behind her.

With that she continued her story...

"_7 years earlier from that day-..._

I lived in a modest middle class family in the great city of Gotham. Not that there was anything particularly 'great' about Gotham, but it was one of the largest cities in our entire country. I guess that was something that caused it to be considered great.

My life was nothing less than normal, a working father in the police department and a working mother in a flower shop that she co-owned. They both worked hard and were very good to me. I had two siblings, an older sister and a younger brother. My sister was away at college in Florida for her third year, determined to set her education in a more relaxing and warm weathered town. My younger brother was 14 years old and in his last year at the middle school. My sister and I talked every so often when she called to say hi, and my brother and I got along well for our age difference.

I was sixteen in my junior year in high school. One of my more stressful years in high school.

My friends and I were loaded with the usual homework, but that was added on with all the classes and hours spent trying to get our licenses, finding a job, and looking into colleges.

I had found a job part time in my mother's flower shop. The hours were not plentiful, as they had too many workers as it was and my presence there was obvious to the others who worked there as an annoyance since I only got the job due to my mother.

The only thing I did that I loved and remembered the most about high school was dancing. I was into ballet and enjoyed it very much, minus the blisters and bruises it caused my feet.

Aside from all the fun and stressful things about high school, it was during this year I formed a relationship with a rather odd, rather interesting person named Jonathan Crane.

It all had started second term in my science class.

I walked into the half year course about a minute late, being detoured by a friend who 'just had' to tell me about some guy and something and I don't really care. In high school, it seemed like all my friends had one guy one week, another in three weeks, and one guy on the side they'd always hook up with.

I was a strong believer in the old fashion, if you were dating someone you were dating them because you want to see if it can last a long time and want to see if love would bloom out of the teenage hormone ridden mind. But I also believed if you were did not have an exclusive relationship, that flirting with multiple peers was acceptable.

With that on my mind, I almost could not hide the smile on my face upon entering the classroom and seeing the masculine, smooth skinned face of Cody Morris sitting in a seat near the back row. I guess one could say we had flirted a lot, though he did flirt with numerous other females as well. Still I could not stop my stomach from feeling a slight jolt of excitement when he talked to me.

At this point I was staring at him, and did not realize the science teacher was standing in front of me snapping his fingers in my face to grab my attention.

"I'm sure there is an explanation as to why you are late." He stated.

"Ah- went up the wrong stairwell." I lied.

"Well find your seat and we can continue to take attendance." He gestured to the room, and I tried to hide the increasing red color that was staining my cheeks. A great first impression on a teacher.

The science room was set up with 3 tables in a column and then five tables behind it. Each dark black table seated two people. I took note of some of my friends that were in the class with me as well, but they were seated all in the same back section, with no seat next to or around them open. I scanned the room and groaned mentally seeing all the seats were taken.

I was just about to ask the teacher where I could sit, when the direction my head turned caused an empty seat to come into my line of vision that had been originally blocked by the person seated in front of the area.

In the third row, with a stack of books piled next to his chair sat Jonathan Crane, already with a drawn out notebook and pencil in hand, taking notes on something before the teacher even began to teach. I doubted it was even for the class, but never the less he was writing away, consumed in whatever his mind was placing on that piece of paper.

I went to the chair to his left and slumped my body into the hard plastic, placing my backpack to the left on my on the floor. I took a moment and glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

Jonathan Crane was an interesting person. I personally didn't know him well or even really talked to him.

He went to the same elementary school as me and I used to always see him being teased by the other children. They would always come up to him, while he sat either reading a book or studying insects. All the other children, myself included would play on the playhouse or with sports equipment or something. It was back in the day reading was considered to be a 'geeky' thing to do.

I vividly remember seeing him one day running around by one of the garbage bins, scaring all the birds even throwing rocks at them. I think that day it was etched into my brain to always think that Jonathan Crane was weird. Having never talked to him, I know now that was judgmental, but I was only seven or eight at the time this thought became a label for him.

The other kids had labeled him weird long before I had and some for rather ludicrous reasons. He was the child everyone picked on.

He always had been all skin and bone, and yet very tall for our age. His awkward look caused some children to make up the name "Scarecrow" for him. It wasn't exactly a creative name for him, but I guessed after being repeatedly assaulted both verbally and physically all the time by numerous people, any name can sting.

I myself never interacted with him or made fun of him to his face. There were too many people around him for me to get one word in, not that I wanted to. My mother had instilled into my mind from a young age to treat others with respect no matter how different they are. She had taught me I don't have to like someone, but not to treat them differently.

I guess I did treat him differently though, as I avoided looking at him and being near him.

And I might have agreed or said negative things about him behind his back to friends who instigated a gossip about him from afar. But that was only to avoid being teased like him.

Anyone that stood up for him was automatically as bad as him, it was an unwritten rule. I think that is why I never tried to stand up for him. I didn't want to be made fun of or hit. But as I went to middle school and still the fights and verbal assaults on him continued, my slowly maturing mind began to think that since I was afraid to be treated like that, I couldn't imagine what it was like for him to be _actually_ receiving that treatment daily.

I lied there was one moment I had interacted with him.

Middle school, seventh grade.

Jason Aryn had noticed Jonathan entering the room with an armful of books and papers. He was minding his own business, heading to his seat in the front of the classroom, where he would get his daily blow of spitballs, paper, and even sometimes gum, thrown at the back of his head.

Jason walked over to him, just as he was about to sit down and slapped all his papers and books out of his hand.

"What's going on Scarecrow?" Jason huffed out. Jason had always been big boned and taller than the average thirteen or fourteen year old.

Jonathan let out a small gasp as the papers and books scattered everywhere on the floor. He leaned forward to lean down to pick them all up, when Jason grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and knocked off his glasses.

"Nerd." He said pushing him down. As he fell he tried to catch his glasses, but missed. The knock of them against his fingertips sent them further away from him.

Jason then spotted someone out in the hallway and ran over to them, looking for some sort of information on a sports event that night or something. I really stopped paying attention to Jason by that point.

I felt very guilty at this point for all the times I would walk by him like this all in elementary school. He looked now like a lost puppy, brushing his hands on the floor in search for his glasses, that blended into the floor to his half blind eye sight.

My morals set in and I stood up from my seat and walked over towards him.

I wonder to this day if I helped him because of my morals or because no one else was in the room as it was too early for out class to begin and no one would see me helping him. Maybe that's what caused my good moral helping spree. I hope not.

I searched around and found the glasses by the heater against the wall. I sort of kneeled by Jonathan and held my hand out with his glasses in them.

He had not even seen me there, still searching himself for his spectacles. He had never received help before, so he wouldn't be expecting me to be there.

"I think these are yours." I finally said, alerting his attention.

His head darted in my direction and met my eyes for a brief moment before quickly and not too gently snatching the glasses from my hands.

I began then helping him more by stacking the books up and papers. His voice stopped me.

"I don't need your help." Was all that he said to me. It was almost in an irritated tone of voice.

I looked at him, and was met by his bright blue eyed glare. His eyes seem to pierce through my entire body and I kneeled there frozen for a moment, having a moment of almost complete fear and the way his voice and eyes held me to the spot.

To break his sudden hold over me, I continued to pick up the books and papers by me, placing my pile of his belongings on the desk.

"I was just-...never mind." I stammered, raising an eyebrow at him. I simply could not believe the look of pure hate he gave me, for doing something I thought was very generous.

It must have also been in that moment the thought that had been carved into my mind that he was weird also added the word 'rude' next to it.

Even though after that incident I still felt bad for him, I never went to help him again. The teasing continued and then lessened when we all went into high school.

The physical attacks on him lessened to mere shoves in the hallway, but the verbal gossip about him increased. I bet he heard most of the things said about him. How could he not? Those who made fun of him tended to talk loud and purposely by him.

His nick name scarecrow had faded somewhere between freshmen year and sophomore.

And there he sat, next to me in my science class. I had not had a class with him since that seventh grade one where my attempt at a noble deed was shut down by his fierce words and glare.

I think I had tried to convince myself he was being mean to me because he did not believe I was being sincere in helping him or he didn't like me pitying him.

I wouldn't want to be pitied either though. So I really couldn't blame him.

Anyways, I saw his face turn slightly to the left and could tell he was looking at me in the corner of his eye, or what I could see of his eye.

I think he knew I was staring at him, without realizing it myself. I snapped my head forward to avoid him turning his face even sideways at me.

Jonathan was on the ugly side. His hair was greasy and tangled looking and it went down to almost past his shoulders. It was either a rebellious teen look or a not caring about his hair looked and I guessed the second option. There was simply no style to it. It appeared he just got out of bed and went to school without running a comb through it. By this point he must have stopped caring what he looked like, as he would not look attractive in the eyes of my peers. His hair sort of covered half his face and he had a bit of an acne problem. His glasses were over sized and blocked the bright blue eyes that I had seen that day with his glasses knocked off of him, sending a glare at me.

In reality his eyes were very beautiful shade of aqua blue, but blocked by the glasses that caused his eyes to look twice their size, they looked very fish eyed.

His face always held a stern look. Now instead of always looking sad or fearful, he seemed irritated or angry all the time. He in simple words did not fit in.

I wondered at that point if he remembered that time in our seventh grade class. Even if he did he most likely hated me. I don't think there was a single person in the school he liked. Even teachers he would outwit sometimes and give attitude to them when he knew more than them. Which he almost always did.

I stared now at the section of my table. Past the graffiti and carved in foul language that littered it, the surface was relatively smooth when I let one of my hands slide across it.

The teacher began to call out names, Jonathan being one of the first five called upon. He raised his hand in acknowledgment to the teacher without his eyes leaving the paper he was writing on.

I looked to my right a little again, placing my elbow on the table with my head and neck resting on my hand. I tried to look casual as I attempted to glance slyly at whatever he was furiously writing away about.

I couldn't make out his handwriting, it was in cursive and all I could see were a few drawings of schematics or machinery on it.

"Do you mind?" His voice rang into my ears so suddenly and startled me. I let my hand fall down on the desk hard in my shock.

"What?" I said trying to act like I was just spacing out and not trying to sneak a peek at his work.

"You're staring at my private writings, that is both very rude and improper of you to be doing so. You don't see me going through your bag do you?" His head wasn't fully turned at me, and I only could see one of his eyes through his glasses.

This was the most I ever heard him speak. I'm sure he spoke to other more when he stood up for himself or talked to teachers, but I personally never heard him speak that much.

His voice sounded somewhere between tired and bored.

"Oh...sorry I was just zoning, I wasn't looking at your papers, my eyes were just looking in the general area." I lied. He gave me a look like I was acting insanely drunk or stupid, and then his eyes diverted back to his paper and continued to write.

"And do you expect me to believe when you zone out, do your eyes dart back and forth as if almost reading something?" He said sarcastically, obviously irritated.

"I'm sorry." I said again feeling bad about lying, but he ignored my comment.

I wanted this awkward conversation to end.

At this point it sounded like I was living up to my dyed hair color.

Throughout my high school life I dyed my hair every two weeks the lightest blond I could find in a store brand box.

Though the down side to this decision was everyone thought I was the typical cliché blond party go wild persona. I really didn't care too much what others thought as this cliché label given to me made me have more 'friends' if you could even address them as such. Some of my friends I honestly did not care about and they felt fake to me. Other friends I enjoyed the company of.

But by gaining so many friends whether real or fake, I also gained the fear of being alone. Watching Jonathan grow up alone and even those days where I would be in my room alone with nothing to do increased my fear of being alone. My fear of acceptance. So even though I didn't like many of the people that surrounded themselves around me, my fear of being lonely and by myself outweighed my dislike and kept me keeping them close.

"Alexis Crawford." I heard the teacher say.

I raised my hand and let it fall back down on the desk after a brief moment.

The sound that rang through my mind for the next few minutes was the sound of his pencil pounding and scrapping away on his piece of paper. He was either very upset about what he was writing or very excited.

All I knew was I would not be looking over in his direction the rest of semester.

That would be more challenging than I thought as I watched our teacher go over to the board that was on the side wall, to my right. The board was right there to the side of our desks, which meant I had to literally look over his head or to the side of his head. I cringed at the thought of him suddenly turning his head back to normal and I accidentally meeting his glaring eyes once more when I was staring at the board, his face or eyes would then be blocking.

The teacher wrote his name "Mr. Newman" on it, and then began to write a rough outline of what we would learn in the class and what sections and how it would apply to real life and-

-by that point I was spacing out already.

When it came to school, the only way I learned was through hands on activities or through reading the books. Most students would just listen to the teacher and hope that they would retain something they said. I was one of the few to read the actual books. For example if questions about a certain section were assigned for a book, I would read the entire section and not just skim it looking for the answers.

Most of the things I learned fascinated me. I had a particular interest in the human body and especially the mind. My career paths were already thought of by that point in my life I was just trying to narrow it down to which one. I wanted to be a doctor of some sort, either being a psychologist or therapist or something. It was difficult to chose between my options.

Of course looking at me, others would never guess my future goals in life.

I was, trying to be as modest as I can, very smart for my age. This of course came through studying and studying things when I didn't even need too, and not sure dumb luck.

People really didn't know I was smart. Never really asking about my grades or seeing my outstanding report cards. I came across as quiet in class, never volunteering; only answering when called upon.

Outside of class I could have been considered outgoing, but in class I just never felt the need to show off my knowledge on subjects. In a way it was as if Jonathan and I were opposite when it came to our smarts. I kept mine inside, only shining on tests and grades, while he wanted his known to all; always answering questions in a condescending manner. It was as if he was trying to teach everyone in the classroom, and never the teacher.

The class felt painfully long that day, and when it was over I darted over to my friends on the other side of the room to walk out with them. I did not want to dilly dally and cause any more interaction with my neighboring table resident. I had cringed earlier in the class when the teacher said where we sat today was our assigned seats.

That afternoon I had spent with friends at the one of their houses. We talked about our days, our new second term classes, the good looking guys in those said classes, and how much we wanted the school year to end already.

"So how's sitting next to that loser poindexter?" Amy asked me when our science class was brought up, in our random conversations.

"He's a very rude person. He like freaked out at me when I was looking at what he was writing. I don't even know how he could tell I was looking at his paper, but he started calling me out on it and just- I don't know he's a weird one." I told them. At this point his rudeness to me caused me to stop feeling bad for him at that time.

"I feel so bad for you. Literally if you arrived to class a minute before, a seat near me was open but some quiet girl took it. Even she didn't want to sit next to that weirdo." Amy said.

We all laughed and continued our conversations.

For about three weeks, in that class no contact between Jonathan and I occurred, which was not an issue for me. I would come into class, he would already be there writing away or reading some books. He would raise his hand to answer often, and the teacher would only call on him as a last resort if no one else knew the answer.

There was only a few times that (and I knew it would happen), I would be looking at the board and he'd turn his head back to his notes and his eyes would be directly looking into mine. I'd feel awkward in those accidental staring moments and turn my head to look at my own desk or to my right. Anywhere, but in those glaring blue eyes.

A month into that class, the day started off normal. I sat in my seat and Cody, who had been walking towards his seat a few behind me stopped at my table and placed a hand on it to lean on it.

"Hey Lexi." He smiled at me.

His blonde hair fell forward into his eyes and he brushed it away smoothly.

"Hey Cody, how are you?" I smiled back.

"Good, good. Hey I'm having a party in two weeks. Rents aren't home. Going away on some vacation or whatever, so just letting you know to keep the Friday in two weeks open. It will be around 9 a night when it starts." He smirked.

"Sweet!" I said excitedly. "Who else is coming?"

"Only half our school." He chuckled, briefly glancing at the person seated next to me at my table. His look showed he was amused he was not inviting Jonathan and sort of rubbing it in his face by asking me loudly next to the bookworm.

"But no no-..." He began again, "We gotta keep it low key when we are at the house. No cops busting up the place. I'd be dead if my parents found out, so don't tell anyone whose a snitch. But I'll see you there right?"

"Of course, I'll just say I'm sleeping over at my friends house and we'll get back to her house late that next morning, her parents don't mind-"

He cut me off, "Oh no people are welcome to sleep over, I doubt anyone will be in the right mind to drive. Safety precaution."

"Okay." I smiled, loving this party more and more as the details came into my eardrum.

"Well I'll talk to you later, tell Amy and Sarah they can come too." He let his fist lightly tap the desk top a few times before smiling once more at me and walking to the back of the room to his seat.

I sat their in my euphoric state of mind, when I turned to sit forward in my seat. Sitting smiling to myself, I could see in the corner of my eye Jonathan staring at me.

I turned my head to find I was right, but the strange thing was is he didn't look away when I caught him. He continued to just stare at me.

"What?" I said, feeling awkward and a flash back of the first day of the class when he caught me staring at his works.

"You do realize that it is a very ludicrous idea to go to that party." He stated. The look he was giving me told me he thought I was extremely stupid. It was almost as if he was talking to me like I was a child.

"I-..I think its non of your business what I do." I stumbled to find words, but when I did I wanted to sound like he had the first day of the class when he had said along the same lines of what I just did.

"He was looking at me when he invited you, trying to brag and throw it in my face I was not invited. But even if I was I wouldn't go. Do you enjoy going to places where you will be intoxicated and dumbed down by illegal substances? Do enjoy going to things where it is a very likely chance to be caught by the police and thrown into jail, ruining your record and chances of going to an advanced college?"

I think my mouth had opened in shock at what he was scolding me over. Here was a classmate, a weird one, whom I rarely almost never talked to scolded me for going to go to a party.

I heard him chuckle and suddenly say, "What am I talking about? Advanced colleges. I'm assuming your going to a community low rate college, if that even." He suddenly started writing a few things on his notepaper and turning his gaze back to me. His hair blocked half his face.

I wanted to suddenly brag to him that I was smart and intended to go to an advanced college, but I didn't want to engage in any further conversation with him at this point. I turned and faced forward completely confused at his sudden outburst at me.

"Or don't answer me. You know I am right about the whole situation." He chimed, turning forward himself.

"What's it to you?" I snapped at him.

"It amuses me and I just want to know what is going through your mind when you make such ridiculous decisions. Purely my own research." He drummed his fingers on his notebook before writing a few more things down.

I looked at what he was writing and made out something about the brain, and thought processing.

"I believe I told you the first day of this class not to look at my private notes-" He said shutting his notebook.

I looked up at him. "You went into my business, I can go into yours. And besides, your writing something about me. I know it." I said aggravated.

"First off I believe you started all this by looking into my business before I had to yours. Second, the _boy _was saying it loudly and looking at me while he spoke. He wanted me to hear, so therefor it is my business, and third your name is nowhere on my notes. I'm writing about thought processes in general if you must know and right now I had happened to be writing about the mind knowing something is bad but doing it anyways. This situation conveniently occurred as I was writing and I had to note it."

At this point I wanted to reach across the table and break his glasses and push him off his chair. He was so arrogant and the way he spoke about Cody-... 'boy'. He spoke as if he was inferior to him and everyone around him was a child. That was at least how he was speaking to me. I felt so inadequate all the sudden.

"Just-...Stop being so...so..know it all!" I said in between my teeth, knowing that my insult was beyond weak.

He merely chuckled in his throat and reopened his notebook to continue writing. I didn't dare look at him the rest of class or even turn in that direction. When the teacher wrote on the board, I kept my posture forward.

At the end of the day, I was on a three way phone call with Amy and Sarah and told them what had happened.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Sarah said irritated by the thought of him.

"I've heard of him doing that to people." Amy spoke up, a television blaring in the background of wherever she was. "Once I was talking to Steven and he told me he was talking with his friend in his math class about going to smoke after school somewhere and Jonathan just butted into the conversation and started asking them things like 'are they okay with what they do' or 'what does smoking do to their mind?' and shit like that. They got creeped out and yelled at him. He just sat their taking all their words in like it was nothing. They even the rest of class threw things at him, they got so pissed off. He does this to people. It's like he wants to know how people's minds work."

"Sounds like he doesn't care about being bullied or what people think of him anymore." I said.

"He's a freak. I swear to god if I had to peg anyone to come into school one day and snap it be him." Sarah exclaimed.

"No I don't think he's like that. I think he's just way too into knowing stuff." I sighed. "There's a better chance he'll snap when he's out of college. Once he's retained all the knowledge the school systems can possibly give him." I laughed.

Changing subjects I brought up what Cody had said to me once more. "So were invited to his party in two weeks. You both in?"

"Of course!" They said in tandem.

"Sarah, were all sleeping at _your _house that night right?" I said sarcastically.

"If anyone asks, of course." I could hear the smile in Sarah's voice.

The next day in class, I kind of got nervous before my science class. I was dreading another bickering argument with_ him_.

But when I sat next to him he did not acknowledge my existence at all.

Mr. Newman started class by passing out a paper to us all.

"So today I am passing to you all a paper regarding a project that you all will have to do. This project is worth twenty five percent of your grade, so don't just crumple the paper up- Mr. Banish." Mr. Newman pointed at James in the back row who had thrown the crumpled paper into his backpack. James sighed and reached in his bag to retrieve the paper.

"This project is about the human body. You know...the thing we've been covering for the past three weeks. Only two people in our entire class passed the test last week. So being the nice teacher I am I decided to let this project happen and boosted up the point value of it. This is a partner project, and each group will be assigned a part of the body to study. You will need to make a poster or video, a research paper, works cited papers, and a 3D model of your body part. It will be due in three weeks, so I expect a very good project from each group."

I scanned over the paper once more, smiling. This seemed easy enough. I looked over to my friends to see who would pair with who. I figured though no matter which of my friends I partnered with I would have to do all the work. Such as it always was for me.

"You will be working the person you are currently seated with at your table." Mr. Newman said.

It hit me like a baseball bat to the face.

What what are_ you doing? Stop-"_

Her patient had started to rock back and forth in his seat and ended up falling over still strapped to the seat.

She sighed and went over to behind the chair, using all her might to stand him and the chair upright again.

"You can't just rock back and forth in your chair like that Phil." She told him coolly returning to her seat across from him. "You'll hurt yourself."

He hiccuped.

"That's right." She said in an almost baby voice. "Hurt yourself badly.."

She rubbed her hand to her temple and took her glasses off the table and hooked them to her shirt's pocket.

"Oh darn it Phil," She smiled. "I forget where I left off in my story. Do you remember?"

An unintellectual sound came from his mouth. It started to smell like he soiled himself.

She paid no mind and snapped her fingers, "Oh right! Mr. Newman had just announced that I had to be partnered with Jonathan for the big project. Thanks Phil."

"Well, I felt sudden fear.

I did not want to work on this project with the guy who had just yesterday had basically been calling me inferior to him and calling me dumb. He didn't even know me.

I turned to look at him, but the fact he just found out he was partnered with me didn't seem to phase him in the slightest bit. He remained looking at the teacher, who was grabbing a hat and shuffled around the slips of papers inside of it.

"In this hat are the names of all the body parts you could have. One of your group members will pick it and then I will give you the remainder of class to set up and plan what you will be doing. This is the only class day I am giving you. The rest will be done in study periods and outside of school. Remember in three weeks its due, so best to start now." He started to walk around letting each table pick from the hat.

He was walking on the side closer to Jonathan, so I let him pick a slip from the hat. He opened it and I had to crane my head to the right to see it.

Of course we would...

We got the brain for our body part.

I saw a smile grow on his face for a brief moment and I swear to this day it was the first time I saw him smile truly and honestly.

He was actually excited for this to be his topic for the project.

"Are all the slips out?" Mr. Newman shook the hat a few times; the extra pieces of paper still in there.

"Sir? We can do a video?" Cody said.

"Yes, but I want it serious... and nothing vulgar." He added at the end.

"Well uh we got the reproductive system so I don't know about that." I heard Cody snicker with his partner at his table.

"So remember we have a half left of class use it wisely." Mr. Newman returned to his desk and took out the local newspaper to read for the remainder of class.

All the other tables began to talk, whether it be to plan or to use the time as a free period and shrugging off the project for another day.

I turned my body slightly to the right to face my new project partner.

He still said nothing, placing the slip on the table and pulling out one of his books.

About a minute passed by and I could not take it any longer. I had to break the silence.

"So...what's the plan for this project?" I asked.

He lifted his head from his book, but returned to it. I grew angry.

"I'm talking to you. What are we going to do for this project."

He kept his eyes on his book as he spoke. "What do you mean by 'What's the plan'? Isn't it just going to be me doing this project and you running off and doing your own thing. You'd be in the way of this assignment and I won't have my grade affected by your lack of brain cells."

As I said before, I never had the urge to rub in my smarts to anyone before, but I had the sudden urge to prove myself to him. I was going to have say in this project and I was going to show to him I wasn't a dumb inferior being like he thought I was.

"No. That's not the plan at all. This is a _group _project. I know you know a lot, but apparently you don't know what the definition of that word is. It means more than one person-"

"I know what the word group means." He lowered his book and glared at me. I offended him by questioning his intelligence. It thrilled me. I started to like arguing with him.

"Well obviously not if you intend to do the project all by yourself. No, we are working on this together. Whether you and I want to or not we have to. So your going to have get over this hate you have towards me and suck it up and work together with me on this project." I raised my voice.

He stared at me, his glare relaxing into a perplexed look as if he was trying to read my thoughts or something.

"Fine." He sounded tired of the conversation. "I'll play along for now, but only because your amusing me by trying to sound as if you know better than me. But I'm going to type the paper, your input to it must be approved by me."

"Fine." I said, feeling triumphant. "So when are we going to work on this and better yet where?"

He looked confused by this and rolled his eyes. "See? This is already creating a problem that you are trying to barge into my plans to just do this myself."

"How is that?" I asked.

"I was just going to do this at my house." He stated.

"What's wrong with us doing it at your house?" I proposed.

"My grandmother doesn't allow people over."

"What?" I raised an eyebrow.

"She's a very cranky old woman. She yells at the paperboy everyday to leave and never come back. She won't allow you to set foot in our house." He said this all very calmly, and almost as if he was annoyed he had to explain.

This was all very odd.

"Okaaaaay." Was all I could say feeling awkward, "Well we can just do it at my house. My parents won't mind." I suggested, mentally picturing him in my house. In my room. On my computer with me. It was a laughable thought. Never in a million years would I think it would happen.

He thought about the idea himself, most likely thinking it would be very odd too.

Had he even ever been over someone else's house before? A girls house at that.

"This is all very weird." He said, I don't know to himself or to me. "Fine I guess. We can do it at your house. What day should we start. It will take a good amount of days even a week to finish this all you know." He told me as if trying to convince me, without saying it, to back out of the idea and just let him to the project.

"How about this Friday? Two days from now. We can start then and plan any other time we need to work on it." I said.

"I guess." He mumbled.

"So we have the brain. I think this project will be easy. There is literally thousands of topics we could write about. I think we got off easy." I smiled, trying to break the awkward tension.

He said nothing.

With that I spent the rest of class wondering if I should just let him do the project, but that determining fire inside of me wanting to prove myself and my smarts to him kept me from backing out. I was passionate about the field I wanted to go into. I wasn't going to let this opportunity slip by.

With class over my friends came over to me as I gathered up my belongings. My new project partner had already rushed out of the class.

"Alexis...I can't believe you have to be paired with-"

"I know...I know.." I sighed.

Friday came faster than I had expected, and that class I had to give him my address and phone number so we could set up for later that night.

I had written both on a slip of paper. Towards the end of our class, when we had about ten minutes of free time I put the piece of paper in front of him.

"It's my address, and phone number in case you get lost. We're still on for tonight right?" The words coming out of my mouth sounded so unnatural to me.

"Yes." He lifted it to his face and skimmed over its contents before placing it into his pocket. "What time should I be there?"

"Anytime after six is fine." I said.

"I'll bring over some poster paper." He said, "You do have a printer that works though right?"

"Yes, I have a computer and such in my room." I stated.

I think the fact where we would be working was in my room, made him feel awkward suddenly. The bell that rang stopped our conversation from getting any more further.

His tone of voice changed as he spoke, "I will see you at six then."

I nodded and he was out of the room before I could say anything else.

I just kept thinking about how odd that night was going to be. Jonathan Crane in my room tonight to work on a project. It was so surreal.

I had to just remember if we got into another argument like I knew we would, to resist the urge to throw my lamp at him.

The lamp was very expensive after all.

I'd just have to remember to reach for dance trophy next to the lamp instead to throw at him. It would leave a better indent on that stupid know-it-all cocky head of his.

* * *

And I think that's good for now. So if I have this mapped out in my head right it really should only be two more chapters of her explaining this story to her patient, then we will flash back and start the real story and see her arrival as an Arkham doctor and her interaction with older Dr. Crane. This is all just the set up chapters. Thanks for reading. Next chapter should be up in a few days or so.


	2. Mental Respect

I must thank my reviewers. It's what keeps me writing, seriously. Sorry if you feel I'm updating slow. I just prefer having around 10,000 words per chapter so you're reading a lot and not a little.

Remember these chapters happen in the past. Like six or so years so words I use in this would be terms they'd use growing up in the era they did. As for a question I got from a reviewer, I actually do not know if the main story occurs during Batman Begins. Maybe slightly before and what not.

And I have not a clue about ballet, the dance I gave the main character to have as her hobby and passion, so terms and things I say about it may not be spot on if one of you does that type of dance. Don't take offense! I'm new to it.

**Also** in the comics, Jonathan had the ability to make people feel certain emotions just by his words. He drove two people to suicide just by his words. I want this ability to happen in this Dr. Crane. I feel like Cillian's is capable of it.

* * *

"When I arrived at my house that day, after my dance practice I was a bit on the foul smelling side and reeked of sweat. Deciding to take a quick shower, I glanced at the clock and say it was only 4:30. I wondered to myself while I was in the shower and letting the warm water wash away the remainders of my dance routine, if he would arrive at six or afterwards. I had told him anytime after six. I hoped he would just show up right away so we could get the awkward night over with. I began to over think a few things and thought then to myself, what if he hadn't eaten yet. Six o'clock was a super time in some families. Five was ours, but I did not know at all how his functioned. Did I have to feed him too?

What type of food did he like? Did he even eat? He was almost dangerously skinny that it looked as if he barely ate at all.

Trying to brush my thoughts aside, I got out of the shower and dried myself off, changing into simple sweatpants and a short sleeve shirt with our school's mascot plastered on it as well as sponsors of our 'education'.

I didn't feel like changing into jeans or anything nice looking. I wasn't trying to impress the kid, I didn't care what I looked like, and I was much more comfortable having the ability to cross my legs when I sat. Tight jeans were all the craze in our school and that took a toll on comfortable seating arrangements.

I left my hair wet for the time and went downstairs where my family was setting up for dinner. I helped set the table sat down to a small feast of pasta and rolls.

"I have that guy in my class coming over tonight for our project remember?" I reminded my mother, just to be sure she did not forget.

"I remember, what's his name again?" She asked, helping herself to another roll.

"Jonathan Crane? His last name ring any bells or whistles?" I asked her.

"Not particularly." She said, trying to think if she knew someone in his family.

"Mary, I don't think I like this idea of a guy being in her room alone with her." My father suddenly stated.

I could not hide the laugh that came out of me. I was able to dim it down to a reasonable level, but none the less a fit of sound came out of me and echoed in my kitchen.

"Dad don't be ridiculous, I would never date this guy. I don't think he is even interested in females in general. I mean he could be, but he's so rude and kind of annoying that he'd scare off any girl within sight." That and his looks could do the trick too, but I didn't say that out loud. My mother would start giving me a lesson in treating everyone the same and looks don't matter. I knew that looks didn't matter, but I never once was creeped out by Jonathan's looks, just his glaring and his over cocky attitude and just everything!

"Well, keep the door open regardless." My dad mumbled. Good ole protective father instincts kicking in more he continued to speak. "And if I hear anything going on-"

"Dad...Honestly. I don't like him. Even as a friend. He tries way to hard to be better than anyone else." I tried to calm his father routine down. It didn't help he was a cop. He was very protective of his family.

"Even as a friend? Harsh sis." My brother Tyler said.

After our dinner, I helped my mother and brother pick up the table while my father did a few papers from work he had left over. I went up to my second floor room and turned on my boom box. My dance routine's songs were in the CD player of it, so a wide mix of slow and fast songs blared out of its two tiny speakers. I glanced at the clock, seeing it was six. He would arrive at any time now.

I turned on my computer and waited a few minutes for it to start up. I opened a writing document, just to prepare us for when he arrived, so we could start and get it all done as soon as possible.

I stared at the blank screen with the blinking cursor, egging me on to either write something or at least put a word down.

I gave in and put our names in the top left corner. Knowing it might make him upset, I put my name first and half smiled at the thought of him saying he wouldn't approve of me being the first thing on the paper.

I looked at the clock again feeling antsy. It was ten minutes past six.

Running a hand through my wet hair and the slight chill running up my spine, I had decided to go to the bathroom and blow my hair dry. Feeling warm and loving the air on my skin, I spent longer doing my hair than normal. In the end though I just tied it up in a messy bun. With my normal bedtime attire complete, I returned to my room, running to my bed jumping into the cushions and laying in its warmth. I stared at my ceiling for a while, extremely bored with everything.

Just when was he going to show up?

The clock now read 6:30.

I began to doubt whether he'd even show up. Most likely he had just lied to me and did the project himself at his house so he wouldn't have to deal with socializing and whatever else he did not want to deal with.

Almost as if on cue, I heard the doorbell ring.

I left the warmth of my bed, and went down the stairs to the front door.

Oh the chaos that would ensue tonight... I was thinking to myself

I chuckled again thinking of my father saying if he heard anything he'd check into my room to make sure I wasn't doing what his fatherly mind thought I was.

I opened the door to Jonathan standing there in his jeans and black sweatshirt, a large poster board tucked under his arm and resting against his side. In his other hand he had his car keys and a book.

"Hello." I said to him as I opened the door more for him.

He said nothing as he eyed me up and down for a moment, taking in the clothing he wouldn't normally see on me.

"You're not intending on sleeping while we do this project are you?" He asked me, looking amused.

"No, I just wanted to be comfortable." I stated.

He stepped into the house and scanned his surroundings. "Where's the computer?"

"This way." I began up the stairs, ushering him to follow me. I was a little frazzled by his first words to me.

The awkwardness was setting in as he followed me to my room. Jonathan Crane, following me to my room. Jonathan Crane in my house. Jonathan Crane entering my room. It was all weird to me as I am sure it was for him.

I sat on my bed, keeping my feet planted on the ground as he looked at my room.

He raised an eyebrow at everything. My room was a typical teenage girl room. Large posters showing off the latest hits in music and movies. Christmas white lights I had stolen from a box in the attic were strewn across my upper wall, going around all the walls in my room, allowing me to have those on and not my overhead light. Minus the fire hazard I refused to admit it had against the papers on the wall, I adored it. I had a fish next to my bed; the only pet I was allowed to have. I also had paper star lamps hanging in various placing from my ceiling.

"Is all this necessary?" Jonathan said, twirling one hand in a gesture to mean the entire room itself.

"What's wrong with my room? I like it." I said, sort of offended. At the time I thought my room was very well decorated.

"You clutter this room with so much things, I can barely think in here." He scrunched his nose as if smelling something foul.

"Just take your glasses off you'll think better then." I said flat toned, beginning to get annoyed.

He didn't respond verbally the the glare sent my way was enough to show his feelings. He paced the room more, and stopped in front of my book shelf.

"Do I even have to ask if this is for show?" He pointed. He began to looked closer at the individual books on it, reading their titles. He even picked up a few and read the summery on the back.

Half the books were romance books, those were the ones he didn't bother to pick up. The other half were psychology books and science books. Some teaching books. Some animal. A wide variety of educational ones.

"Do you actually read these or-" He began, his tone changed to a normal voice as if he was generally interested.

I responded like a smart ass. "No they are not just for _show_. I actually read them. Can we just get started on the project and not have you barging into my personal life?"

"I'm only asking about these because I would not peg you to have an interest in subjects such as this." He said gesturing to the book he was opening that he had pulled out. He skimmed through a couple of the pages before placing it back on my shelf.

"Maybe if you didn't judge me before you met me, you would know." I calmed my voice down.

At that comment he grew suddenly tense and snapped his next sentence at me. "Let's just do the project and get this over with."

It took me a moment to realize the reason he could have snapped. He, being teased all throughout his life, was the greatest example of people judging him before they knew him and teasing him due to the label they thrust upon him. Something as small as judging someone was not into the medical and educational fields of study was nothing compared to what he went through.

I felt bad only for a moment.

He went over to the chair by the computer and sat in it, beginning to type something.

"Fine." I mumbled.

I pulled over an extra chair from one of the corners of my room and placed it next to Jonathan's.

"What...Why'd you do that?" I asked.

He had changed the order of our names, like I knew he would.

"I'm putting it in order of who will be doing the most work." He remarked.

"I'm going to be doing just as much work as you, yanno." I reminded his ignorant good for nothing brain.

"I don't think so, why don't you just go do what you girls do and grab some glitter and crayons and decorate our poster board." He shooed me with his hand while he opened his book, which I looked down to see was one about the different sections of the mind.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Excuse me?" I raised my voice, not caring about the excessive amount of attitude I was about to give him. "I'm sick of your shit! Why are you being so mean to me? I literally have done nothing to you. What is your problem!"

He looked at me for one moment and returned to looking down at his book.

"No, don't even pull this, I am talking to you!" I snatched the book and shut it close, throwing it onto my bed across the room.

"Hey! What was that for?" He glared.

"For not listening to me when I am talking to you!" I yelled. "Look, we have a school project to do, so you just need to deal with the fact that you have work cooperatively with me and stop acting like a jerk!"

I look back now at all the comments I said to him that night and laugh at how ridiculously young I sounded.

_Now Phil_ you know never to say those words or comments to others. It can hurt people's feelings."

She paused waiting for him to respond. His head had nodded forward, eyes shut, and snoring sounds coming from his throat.

She snapped her fingers in front of his face a few times, until he opened his eyes, rapidly blinking.

"Phil, you okay there?" She inquired. "I was teaching you a valuable lesson there dear. Pay attention, now I don't want you to fall asleep again. You could learn something from my story."

Phil jiggled back and forth strapped in his chair, then leaned his head to the side to crack his neck. He placed the side of his face on his shoulder and let out a animal like noise.

"Jonathan wasn't happy with what I said, and got up from his chair to retrieve the book I threw.

"Well, you didn't have to take it out on a library book. I have to return this and if there is a tear in it, I am holding you fully responsible." He held the book in his hand eyeing it from corner to corner to check its condition.

I sighed, moving from my chair to the one he had sat in, showing my control of our project. "I'll type it."

"No. There is no way you are going to." He said walking closer to me. "Move over."

I didn't budge. "Will you promise to treat this _group _project as a _group_ project?"

"Yes, yes whatever." He said not sounding too sincere.

"I don't believe you. I'm going to move out of this seat and your going to do what you did earlier aren't you? Honestly what problem do you have with me? We're not going to get anywhere until we can communicate without an insult coming out of our mouths every other second."

"I don't have to tell you anything." He said.

"Fine then I'm typing." I turned my body to face the computer screen, just to see his face cringe.

"No-...No- fine I'll let you work with me on this, but if you give no useful answers you can do what I suggested and go glitter crazy. Judging by your room you would be fine to decorate our poster. See? I complimented your skills with that. I can work in a group- so just let me type it." He sounded slightly sarcastic and determined to not let me have control.

"Fine-" I scooted over back to my seat next to him, and he took the seat as soon as it was open.

"Well now that I've lost my thought of what I was going to start off with-" He mumbled.

"Why not start off with what each section of the mind controls? Then go into the neurons, connections it makes, and when they start to grow in number." I said trying to sound as he always did in class, and around me. I was going to show off my smarts.

"That sounds to middle school to start off with what each part controls. On our 3D model we can color code that. But neurons maybe..." He rested his head on one of his hands.

He began to type away a few things about neurons.

"Wait we can't just start in the middle of scientific reasoning. Start off with the simple statement that the brain is the central nervous system of the body." I said, watching him type.

He stopped his typing and considered what I said. He did not listen at first continuing his paragraph, then sighing and backtracking to type what I had suggested.

I realized in this moment that he hated being wrong or corrected.

I thought to myself that _this night is going to be a long one..._

"And now what, just ump into the neurons?" He asked, trying to find error in my suggestion.

"No no- write, here let me type it, I know what I want to put." I started my hands for the keyboard.

"No I got it-" He hunched his shoulder towards me as if to block me.

I continued my hand and at the same time he placed his hands protectively on the keyboard to type himself.

Our hands touched for a brief second, with his on top of mine. His skin was surprisingly warm, and not cold like I felt his heart and attitude to be. We both retracted immediately, looking between frazzled and angry.

We both looked at the screen and he quickly deleted the "fajklsf" we had accidentally typed in our little contention.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose underneath his glasses.

"Fine type what you want." He sounded tired of everything.

I greedily took the keyboard, placing it on my lap and began to type. I typed about the basic location of the mind, things it controlled and a few terms relating to it. I was going to give it back to him as I finished with the starter paragraph, but I felt the need to continue as I new exactly where I wanted to go with the next paragraph. I continued where he had left off diving into the neurons connections, and axons sending to targeted areas of the body the signal to react to the message sent.

I was surprised at this point that he had not tried to stop me once. Instead, in the brief moment I was able to see him in the corner of my eye, he watched what I typed intently.

I begin to type about emotions. It was at this point he read out loud what I had typed.

"The emotions are generally understood as representing a synthesis of subjective experience, expressive behavior, and neurochemical activity." He repeated.

"You may want to let me take over this section. I will say to you openly I am very surprised and slightly amused that everything you have written so far is correct and I find no flaws in. I commend you for actually not being half as unintelligent as I pegged you to be. But when it comes to emotion I think I have more knowledge in that field than you." He said holding his hand out for the keyboard.

"Thanks," I said taking his compliment and feeling a bit of pride in my stomach that I had proven myself to him. I didn't really want to give him the keyboard, but I did knowing I had to be fair. "What makes you think you know more about that particular part of the brain's system than me. Not trying to sound rude, I am just curious."

"Research. Ever since freshmen year I have been working on personal research of mine." He merely said and began to type.

I watched what he wrote in fascination. Instead of writing pure facts he began to dive into facts and opinion based theories of emotions being something that could be cured in the mind and that emotion were person defects within the mind.

His hands flowed gracefully over the keyboard not pausing once, showing he knew exactly what he was going to type. I on the other hand, when I had typed, had paused and thought multiple times trying to make sure I was right each time I wrote the next sentence.

"That's incredible." I said out loud in a low voice. I read out loud what he typed. "Negative emotions could be cured through medical research and would cause many benefits to the world as we know it. Without anger, there would be no violence. Without fear, there would be no fear of trying knew things. People claim for the mind to have other factors being the cause of the mentally insane and criminals of the world, but it all comes back to the emotions they feel."

He looked at me almost as if he was analyzing me.

"I never thought of anything like that. I never thought that the reason we have so many bad people in the world is all tied to emotion. I thought it was more a mind defect or lack of connections in a certain part of their mind." I said.

I grew very fascinated at this point. Wanting to get into that field of study in college and my future career I wanted to know more. All the things he was typing must have been the research he was talking about earlier. How did he come up with that? He knew so much.

I began to rabble off things I thought would go with his theory. "With no jealousy there would be no need to be better than the person next to you, which would mean less violence, cheating, more happiness and content with where one is."

"Exactly." He said, looking pleased with himself and me for actually understanding what he wrote.

"Is this the research you were mentioning to me earlier?" I asked.

"Yes. I guess I wanted to give a bit of a taste of my own research into a school related project to see how it would take to others. Judging by your response, I am assuming you agree with it?"

"I do- but also don't you think the corrupt if they found a way to suppress an emotion- could use it to the advantage of ridding people of positive emotions. What if they spread a mass attack of getting rid of happiness or love or excitement. The world would be full of negative emotions. I don't know I just think that this subject is very touchy. It would need to be experimented with by trustworthy people. There are some very crazy people in this world."

"I guess, but what type of _person _would want the world to be filled with negative emotions?" He chuckled, as if my question was completely preposterous.

"I don't know...a crazy one." I shrugged. "But I find one more flaw with you idea. Wouldn't someone want to keep fear? That keeps a person in line. It keeps a little child from running in the middle of the road. It keeps a child from not going with a stranger. We need fear at a young age to make our world safe."

"But if there was no other bad emotions in our world, there would be no need for fear." He typed as he spoke to me, revising the two pages he had wrote on emotions alone.

I started to like the conversation completely. I felt like finally I was talking to someone who not only understood the subject I was interested in, but felt strongly about it. A friend can sit there and nod and agree with things you say, but Jonathan could add to it or critic it.

"You were right." I said.

"About what?" He turned to look at me for a brief moment.

"You do know a lot about emotion. Why is that?" I asked him.

"Personal curiosity and experiences." He responded, his voice slightly fading at the end of his sentence.

"Oh-" I cut my sentence short, knowing by experiences he must have meant being bullied throughout his life. He had lived in fear of being beaten up everyday. It was no wonder he wanted to rid the world of fear.

I glanced at the clock. We had been typing away for two hours. Nearing nine o' clock, my stomach was grumbling for more food. I clutched it for a moment, hoping he didn't hear it.

Eager not only to get food, but to change subjects to avoid his temper or sadness I spoke, "Hey are you hungry? I am. Did you eat dinner?"

"I had a small snack, I'll be fine." He said, sounding slightly insincere about it.

"Are you sure? We have a lot of food down there." I persisted.

He continued to read over his words, but caved in a gave a slight smile to regard me. "Sure."

It was so funny to me that at the beginning of the day we hated each other, and through the knowledge and interest we both held for psychology, we had a silent understanding of each other's intellect. It didn't necessary mean we were going to be the best of friends and talk and hang out all the time after that moment. No not at all. It merely meant that we respected one another's opinion and realized we shared a common interest.

We reached the kitchen and I opened and closed cabinets and fridges every other second. After reopening the same drawer for the third time, I scrunched my nose in thought.

Undecided on what I wanted to eat I asked for his opinion.

"I really don't care." Was all he said.

I sighed and smiled. "Big help you are. Well we could have some good ole ravioli's in a can."

"Sure." The man of so many words responded.

When it came to facts,and theories he could talk up a storm, but when it came to normal conversation he was very straight and to the point.

I heated up the can in two bowls, and grabbed two water bottles while they were in the cue. I handed him the bottles.

"Can you carry these upstairs? I'll grab the food. Oh what time do you have to be home?" I suddenly asked, looking at the clock tick on ten minutes past nine.

"I should leave at ten I think." He regarded the clock as well.

I took the food out of the beeping microwave and walked back to my room, with Jonathan following behind me. We decided to take a break from our typing and I sat on my bed and him on the chair, slightly it turning towards me, and we ate our microwavable meal.

We continued to talk about his theory over our meal. We laughed. We disagreed. We thought. We snickered.

Overall it was a very intellectually stimulating conversation.

Just as he began to speak about something on emotions developing through parental genetic flaws, the fork holding his last tomato sauced ravioli detached itself from the food and sent it onto my blue carpeted floor.

He looked on in slight shock and embarrassment. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. I didn't realize I was moving my hands as I talked. I- I can clean it." He began to search for napkins or something.

I brushed it off. "It's fine honestly."

I got up and retrieved a tissue, picking up the food and placing it in the trash. I tried to scrub away the stain of red and brown on my floor, but it remained. I tried for another minute, but it refused to leave the strands of my carpet.

"I feel really bad that it stained. I could find you stain remover if you'd like." He watched my attempts at cleaning, the guilt on his face evident.

"Honestly its fine. I most likely have other stains on my carpet from doing the same thing. It's not a big deal." I returned to my seat on my bed and glanced at the clock. It was nearing ten now.

"Oh my time flew by." I looked again trying to honestly see if an hour had passed by when it felt like a few minutes. I was too enraptured in our conversation to know how much time had passed.

He too looked shocked at the time. "Oh my. Well I must be off, or I won't be hearing the last of it from my grandmother." He stood up smoothing out his sweatshirt as he rose.

"Do you mind if I leave the poster board here?" He asked pointing to the large blank white sheet laying on my floor.

"It's no problem, go ahead."

"When should we meet again. We did get a good chunk of the essay done. We just need to finish it, and revise it a couple times. Then the poster, and a 3D model."

"Uh..anytime is good. Tomorrow I have plans with my friends, but Sunday would be fine. Same time?"

"Why not a little earlier as it is a school night?" He inquired.

"Ah- cause I have dance practice for three hours. I can't any earlier. Sorry." I half smiled.

"You dance?" He asked.

"Yeah ballet. I don't know, my mom got me into it when I was little and I just stuck to it. My trophies are over in the corner." I pointed.

He glanced over taking note of the five or so fake gold trophies with people in various dance positions on the top.

"Another thing I would not peg you to do. That is one of the most graceful forms of dance, requiring the most concentration. Your lifestyle contradicts that." He looked slightly amused. "Why don't you tell people of your dancing that much or even your interests in psychology. You're wasting brain cells on your social crowd and their activities."

"I don't know, I just...want to fit in?" I realized after I spoke, that what I said was not only the worst possible choice of words ever, but was a complete slap in the face to him.

His face showed his disapproval and he straighted his posture and smiled sarcastically at me looking irritated. "Well, I should go now. Have a good evening. I'll show myself out thank you."

I watched him reach in his pocket for his keys and turn his back from me as he went for the door.

"I didn't mean that I'm so-" But my sentence was cut off by the slamming of my door.

I felt extremely guilty and went to my window to watch him climb into his maroon car and speed off. I had just officially put us back to square one. Back to the conversations of insults and negativity.

I honestly didn't mean to hurt his feelings, or even say that out loud. My young teenage mind had not developed to the point where I could stop things from coming out before I fully thought them through.

It didn't matter to him that I was smart or could hold up a conversation with him. What mattered was no matter what I thought he did not fit in and in the public eye I would treat him different than a person next to him.

I had a sudden urge to call him and apologize, but that would be in vain as I did not have his number. He had mine though, which I am sure he'll shred and burn once the project is over with. I walked over to the computer and saved our file. Shutting off my computer, I picked up the empty bowls and returned them downstairs to our sink.

That night I had a very odd dream. I dreamed off the world having no emotions. Everyone was tranquil. When they spoke it was very calm and almost monotone. No emotion was held in their eyes or face. I saw Jonathan and went up to him. He was the only person in that world that was smiling. He began to laugh, being the only one with emotion. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was basking in his new world. An emotionless and dry world.

The next day was a routine day. I did homework, went to practice for three hours, then was picked up by Amy to go the mall. Sarah was busy with her sister that night, so it would just be us two.

At the mall we shopped a little here and there, with nothing particular there that we needed.

"So how was last night?" Amy finally asked when we were in the food court eating our fast food.

"Awkward." I said, dipping my french fry in ketchup.

"Details!" She persisted.

"I don't know it just was awkward." I responded, not wanting to go into the night.

By shire luck, Cody and two of his friends walked by and spotted us.

"Hey!" They said and sat down in the spare seats next to us. Cody sat next to me, and I couldn't say I wasn't already feeling the butterflies.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Amy said to Jackson, the guy who sat next to her whom she had a crush on.

"Messing around. It was free sample day at GiGi's so naturally we had to go a dozen times." Jackson snickered.

"What about you guys?" Cody asked me.

"Shopping for stuff we don't even need." I smiled.

He let his arm extend and rest on the chair behind me. Even though it wasn't touching me as I was leaning forward I felt my stomach spike upward and tried to imagine that his arm was actually around me.

"So that project in Mr. N's class, yeah we haven't started yet and also came here to pick up supplies." Cody yawned.

"Which means we will forget by the end of the day and walk out of here with nothing school related." Joey, the other guy who was seated on Amy's other side said.

"I think Alexis is the only one in our class who started it." Amy snickered. "But she's paired with that geek so naturally he started the minute it was assigned."

"How's working with that weirdo?" Cody asked.

I didn't know what to say at this point and felt awkward and slightly mad at Amy for bringing the subject up again.

"It's...interesting." I said, letting them interpret it as they wished.

"I'd let him do the whole project." Jackson smiled. "In fact I'm debating on offering him money to do ours."

"No way man, we can't the teacher would know we didn't do it. Our writing isn't comparable to his. So unless you ask him to dumb it down he'd never." Joey said.

I wished they would stop talking about him.

"Hey-...Isn't that him?" Jackson suddenly pointed behind me.

I turned instinctively and saw there looking as awkward as ever Jonathan Crane, carrying a bag from a bookstore in his hand, and waiting in line to buy an ice cream.

"Hey! HEY! Jonathan!" Jackson yelled, until he got his attention. I turned to face forward, my face growing flushed with embarrassment. I slunked down in my chair to avoid him seeing me, my head ended up resting on Cody's arm that was around my chair. It didn't even register to feel awkward due to me touching Cody.

"Hey! I gotta a question for you! Do you wanna do my science project for me?" He asked.

I could tell what Jonathan did to respond to him, but obviously it upset Jackson as he began to throw the insults at him. "Fine then you creep! Go back to your little bookstore and hide behind one of your dictionaries!"

"Jackson..." I said in a low hissing voice. "Stop."

"Yeah might wanna let up man." Cody said, ushering him to keep his voice down.

"The kid sent a freaky face at me and made a gesture by running his hand across his throat as if he wanted me dead. I'm not gonna let the kid do that." Jackson growled.

"Here take the rest of my fries and just shut up!" I yelled softly, shoving my tray in front of him.

I risked my exposure and sat slightly up and turned my head. There I saw Jonathan walking away from the ice cream stand and going into the elevator. The back of it was made of glass so I saw him standing there for a moment, before turning his face slightly and meeting my eyes. Even though it was a bit of distance I could see the look of hate he was sending me and my table of peers.

My guilt increased even more. I felt defensive of him suddenly not wanting them to say negative things about him.

"Guys can you not do that anymore? He's a person too you know." I spoke up, sitting up straight in my seat.

"He's a freak." Joey said, taking a bite of Amy's double cheeseburger.

"He's rude and needs to learn his place." Jackson said snickering.

Cody stiffened a bit, not knowing what to say. "He just...I get this vibe that he's dangerous. Like he's gonna snap one day."

"Exactly what I've said." Amy said with a mouth half full.

* * *

The next day, after my practice, I wondered if he would even show up to my house. I hurt his feelings. My friends hurt his feelings in my presence.

Things just were not looking good.

When I heard the knock on my door though at six, my heart lept with anticipation as I answered it.

Could it be? It couldn't.

But it was. Jonathan stood at my door, the same keys and book in his hand.

"Let's just get this done." He said, moving past me and walking to my room without my guidance.

I followed him and he was already stationed at my computer, opening up our document. He started to type and I sat in silence next to him.

Silence was a wonderful weapon of guilt.

Half an hour into the cold shoulder, I could not take it anymore.

"We need to talk." I said.

"Why? There is no need too. I am almost done with our essay." He said, brushing me off as nothing.

"Not about the project. About what I said I want to say I am sor-"

"There is no need to apologize Alexis." It was the first time he spoke my name to me. It flowed gracefully off his tongue and I was taken back by the fact he even remembered my name as I was one to never tell him it.

I paused.

"Yes there is. I didn't mean to offend you when I said I wanted to fit in. Honestly I didn't. I wasn't implying you didn't or anything-"

"No, but it is apparent I don't. It is fine. I know I don't fit in with the unintelligent species that crowd our school system. But you want to blend in with them. No no, it's fine." He sounded sarcastic and amused at the same time. I couldn't figure out his mood at all.

"I-"

"You hide your knowledge, why?...Do you fear of being looked upon by your peers as I am looked upon? Is that was you fear? Is that why you tried to hide your presence from me that day your table of hooligans threw their insults at me and mocking my intelligence? You couldn't dare to look at me or acknowledge me in a friendly manner because then you would be judged by your peers?"

"No I-...I don't know." I said, feeling as if I suddenly wanted to cry. His words were doing something to me. They were making me feel sad and guilty beyond belief. It was so sudden, like it had crept into my stomach and spread everywhere.

"It doesn't matter how smart you are, you lack common sense and morals." He said, returning to his reading.

I was able to suppress my sudden miserable feelings and able to get anger running through my veins. I had to take control of this fight.

"Maybe if you weren't so rude to everyone they would treat you differently! You know there were other people like you bullied in elementary school or middle school and when they got to high school they weren't anymore! Because normally in high school, the immature teasing stops if your nice to people! But you're so cocky and rude and ask people questions that make them uncomfortable!"

"You expect me to be nice to those who tormented me in me early youth?"

"You can't fill your life with hate. If you do, your going to be in for a nasty surprise when you grow up alone." I was only slightly aware my eyes were watering up.

"But I don't need anyone. I need my research. That's all. I gave on people a while ago." He held up the book in front of him and tapped it once.

"I don't believe that. You're too young still to give up completely."

"Believe what you will."

"There are good people in this world. You can be one. You can be around good people. Those guys who have made fun of you in your life, will get what is coming to them. But you have to act nice to new people you meet, or they will follow in the path of those who have already harmed you."

"And yet you associate yourself with bad people and tell me to be around good people. Doesn't that make you bad? Maybe I should leave right now." He saved his document, looking as if he was intent on leaving.

"No. I hang out with them, but I don't agree with them-"

"But you made no effort to stop them." He corrected me.

"When you left I told them not too."

"There is a big difference between stopping an action when it is happening and stopping an action when it has already happened." He sneered.

"I didn't know what to say."

"You didn't stop them, because that would make you openly showing you care if others bully me. That would place you in their eyes on the same level as me. Or it may have not. You wouldn't know till you stood up for me, but you didn't in fear of not being socially accepted," He suddenly thought and snapped his fingers. "You have monophobia. You fear to be alone in this world."

"Just shut up...Just please shut up for one minute." I fell back on my bed and laid down on it staring at my ceiling.

"Do you remember in seventh grade Jonathan...the day I helped you?" I asked, remaining in my laying position.

"Not particularly." He said, his voice sounding more calm than before.

"A kid had knocked your books down and your glasses. I got your glasses for you and your books, because I felt bad for you. When you got your barrings you yelled at me that you didn't need help and you frightened me. It was from that point I didn't feel as bad for you because I thought you were very rude."

"I wasn't being rude, I was standing and relying on my own two feet. It's a world where everyone is out for themselves. I didn't need your help or pity." He stated.

"Well that's why I have acted the way I have acted around you. Because of that day." I said.

"Well after Friday, you still found me rude and that is why you did nothing yesterday?" He inquired.

"Well I don't know what to think Jonathan it was one day. I didn't know if towards the end your sudden change in attitude was sincere or not. I'm sorry if I don't know what to think."

"Just explain to me what you think. Everything." It suddenly sounded like he was acting like my therapist.

"Well-.." something in his tone of voice got me to speak without even thinking. "I don't know. I like talking to you about the mind and psychology. I want to go into that field so its invigorating to finally meet someone who shares the same passion and interest as me. And someone who knows what they are talking about too." I chuckled, the ceiling suddenly turned black and I realized I had shut my eyes. My body relaxed itself as I spoke.

"I didn't know a thing about you before this though, so the sudden change in conversations and respect we had for each other was a bit of a shock to me. Here I thought we were going to spend the night bickering and arguing, but we ended up talking and having really good talks about your research. At the end of the night I honestly didn't mean to insult you. And I don't know why I want to fit in so badly. I just don't wanna be alone. I want to be around people and I know that's bad cause all the people I am around end up being fake friends. A meaningless loop. A circle with a corner. No point."

With the silence that filled my ears, the calming feeling began to fade and I wondered how he was able to get me to be so open suddenly.

He sat there in his chair with his elbow resting on my desk and his hand under his chin. He was staring at me, with a scrap piece of paper on the desk and a pencil in his other hand. He began to write a few things.

"Wait, not this again... Are you writing about me?" I asked him.

"Not you...just a generalizing of the mind and now a little in depth theories about the fear of being alone."

I sat up in my bed and rubbed my head. I had a bad headache and the throbbing pain seemed to increase as I sat more upward.

"Look, I'm sorry. Can you please forgive me Jonathan?" I asked him. "I know I was wrong and-"

He held a hand up to stop me. "Everything is fine."

I was unsure if he accepted it or just chose to ignore it. I began to think everything that had happened in the past few days was very odd. I hated Jonathan. We bickered. I came to find he was actually fascinating and his ideas were amazing. I accidentally insulted him. I saw him in public and insulted him even more by ignoring his existence. He came to my house to work on the project again. We argued. He somehow was able o get me to say my true feelings on the situation. And now we were okay?

"This is all very odd." I said out loud.

Another thought went through my head. If I were to be 'friends' with him, I wondered if this up and down stuff would happen all the time.

"I could say the same." He responded. "How about we start over?"

I stood up and sat next to him by the computer. "What do you mean?"

"Hello, I am Jonathan Crane and I believe we have a project due in two weeks that we have to do together," He extended his hand to shake mine.

I smiled slightly at his idea, knowing it would only help a few days before I or he ultimately insulted the other one and a pattern would form.

"Hello, I am Alexis Crawford and I too believe we have a project due together, but it appears by some miracle we have the essay almost done."

I took his hand and we shook for one single moment, before returning our gaze to the screen.

"Well I guess today since we only have an hour before I should head home, we should edit the paper. We can skim through it. Speak up if you see an error, though their should be few to none." He said pointing at the screen.

We looked on for an hour. Once we got to the part that was his theory we ended up getting in a debate about emotions again. It was a very heated, very fascinating conversation if I do say so myself.

"I better get going." He said, looking at the clock.

"Wait, do you want some dessert before you go? I have ice cream." I offered.

"Okay," He followed me downstairs and to the freezer. I emerged from it, with a tub of fudge swirl ice cream. I took two bowls and placed an even amount of ice cream in our bowls. We sat at the dining room table and happily ate our ice cream.

"Do you think he'd let us turn this in early?" I asked referring to the project.

"Do you think he'd be able to keep track of it for one and half weeks? The man has lost so many of his lesson plans. I think we should just turn it in the day it's due." He responded.

"True, true. Sometimes I think Mr. Newman doesn't even know what he is talking about. Like he doesn't know anything about science. Everything he reads off of is just in the book. He doesn't strike me as smart." I licked the small amount of ice cream from my spoon.

"You just described nearly three fourths of the teachers in our building. All of them know no more than your average student. They just took the job thinking it be easy and they get their summers off to sit on their lazy behinds and tan." He sounded irritated by the thought.

"Wow, you're probably right." I agreed.

"So I feel bad for the poor soul who wants to be a teacher because he actually has an interest in the field and ends up jobless because the lazy ones get the job."

"But that happens in every job." I sighed. "My father was lucky to get his job and he really wanted it."

"What does your father do?" He asked.

"He's a cop. Always wanted to be one, since my grandfather was one. Although my dad isn't as well known of a cop as my grandfather was, I still am happy for him." I attacked the left over juices of ice cream that lingered at the bottom of my empty bowl with my spoon.

"What happened to your parents if you don't mind me asking? If you don't wanna say that's fine." I asked.

"My father and mother were alcoholics. They abandoned me and gave me to my grandmother to take care of, which I don't know what would be worse. Being raised by drunk parents or by an over religious strict and straight as a line grandmother." He chuckled.

"Oh my god, I'm really sorry." I frowned.

"It's fine. I don't care at this point. Almost just one year till college and I can leave my house."

"Where are you going to college?" I asked.

"Yale, Harvard. I don't know. Somewhere far though. Anywhere but Gotham. This town has too many bad memories and too much scum in it to bother with." He sneered. "Where are you intending to go?"

"Somewhere far too most likely. I was looking into a place in Maine." I smiled at the thought of being in college.

"Maine? Wow, when you say far, you mean far. But do they have any high rate schools? I could see you going to some of the places I mentioned. You'd fit in well there." He sort of put an emphasis on 'fit in'.

"I don't know...It was just a thought." I shrugged, feeling suddenly under pressure and judged by the school I had in mind.

"Thank you for the ice cream Lex, but I must be off."

I got slightly happy that he had called me Lex, instead of Alexis. I always thought Alexis was too formal for normal conversation, but was not going to correct him or anyone ever when they called me my full name.

"Okay, no problem. So in school we can just plan what day we can meet again."

"Yeah sure." He said, spinning his keys on his pointer finger a few times. "Talk to you later, good night."

"Good night." I said after him as he left my house.

I cleaned up our snack and went up to my room, to find his book by my desk. He had left it behind by accident. I glanced out my window to see his car was already gone. I'd return it to him tomorrow. Closing my shade, I went to my bed and curled into a ball under my covers.

I felt as if my life was suddenly growing confusing. It was like a roller coaster.

I knew as a teenager you had to find your true self, and find out what person you were, not influenced by your peers or anything. But it was as Jonathan was slightly influencing me to find my true self. Trying to without even realizing it, to find my true self and be able to stand on my two feet.

I didn't feel bad for him anymore from this point on, but more or less proud of what he was able to do with his life even though all the hardships. He was smart, and going to use it for good and experiment with helping fix flaws in the mind.

And there I was trying to hide and rid myself of my smarts to the public eye. I wanted to change, slowly but surely.

I also found myself to not mind if people knew I was becoming friends with Jonathan...

I actually didn't know what word we could label our relations.

Friend seemed too much.

Acquaintance seemed too little.

Intellect buddies? No. Nothing seemed to fit.

Pure curiosity.

That's the only other thing I could think of.

I talked to him out of pure curiosity of where the conversation would lead. The fascination of his mind and how much more he knew in that head of his.

A mentally based friendship.


	3. Illusions and Expectations

Sorry for lack of updates. But I rewarded you with a chapter over 12,000 words!

Been sick for two months with Strep Throat and I had an allergic reaction the the medication so it has been a rough one. Then between school and 35 hours a week and trying to maintain any sort of social life a 17 year old can get, I've been wicked busy haha.

Must thank the reviewers so much! You guys keep my motivation up and running so thank you. I like those who pointed out many things and the little things I barely even thought of. Thank you. You guys are the reason I write.

* * *

"You left this at my house." I placed the book down in front of him as I sat next to him in my science class.

He gazed down at it and gave a nod of realization and a small smile of thanks. "Thanks, I was wondering where I had misplaced that thing." He collected it in his hands and shoved it into his backpack.

The remainder of class whenever the teacher would take a break from lecture or whenever we were finished with our task at hand we found ourselves chatting. Small talk of course. Sometimes it would be about whatever we were learning, and other times it would be about the annoyances in our classroom, namely Jackson and Andrew in the back trying to sneak in words of sarcasm to our teacher. Even though I enjoyed those two's company when I was with them, I did find their classroom antics a bit annoying. Whenever Jonathan made fun of Cody though, I'd bite my tongue and leave it be; never agreeing or disagreeing with him. Cody didn't really start trouble in class, but he wasn't one to stop it.

"Honestly do they even intend on going to a college? Do they know how to even apply to one?" Jonathan scrunched his face at his paper while he did not look at me as he spoke. His comment was a response to the boys beginning to talk about the upcoming party at Cody's which I had full intent to attend. Whether he was aware I was going or not didn't matter.

Lunchtime that day I sat with my usual table. Amy, Sarah, Cody, Jackson, Andrew, Joey, and a few others. As I munched on my sandwich and left over pasta salad, I looked across the cafeteria where, out of pure luck, I caught a glimpse of Jonathan.

He sat at a round table all by himself. He barely seemed interested in what he was eating, as he read his book and scribbled notes on scrap pieces of paper.

I felt bad for the fact he ate alone, but at the same time I knew he liked it that way. No one to get in the way of his studies.

I envied in a way the fact he had the ability to have moments to just sit and think whenever he pleased. At my table it was constant talking and joking. Loudness that never ceased.

"So you're still going Friday?" Amy asked me, with her mouth still half full.

"Of course." I smiled.

"Of course, if she doesn't have a nerd date with Jonathan." Jackson yelled into our conversation.

"I don't go on dates with him, we work on our project together." His comment upset me, but the exact reason to this day I can not fathom.

"To him that's a date. Working on projects, reading books, ohhh!" Jackson began making orgasm sounds loudly to the point other tables started to look over at him.

"Quiet." I told him between my teeth. "Honestly do you have an off button?"

"Oh I have an off button." He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

"You're disgusting." I told him, but I could not hide the laugh coming from my mouth at the same time.

They were immature.

They were pigs.

And yet the funniest people I knew.

But if they didn't grow up by the time we graduated, I could see myself clipping all my strings attached to them undone.

The bell rang once more, and I gathered my belongings and went to throw away my trash, unlike my other table sitters, who left their trash behind with the notion that 'it's the janitors job to pick it up'.

I left the cafeteria and began my walk down the long hallway that lead to the other side of the building. The cafeteria was its own section in our school, so making the trek to anywhere with a classroom took a good minute or two.

As I was walking I felt someone walking the same pace as me, just to my left.

I glanced to see if it was someone I knew and I was met with the glass covered blue eyes.

Jonathan was staring at me, and only that.

He didn't say anything or acknowledge that I was looking at him. His pace was just a little faster than mine and he began to get in front of me, his eyes not leaving me until his head could not crane that far to see me over his shoulder.

That moment it felt like everything went silent, and all I could hear was my own footsteps echoing in my body. I had a slight chill running up my spine. The moment scared me slightly. I didn't know what had really just happened.

His gaze had been blank, stoic. No emotion. No happiness. No anger.

Just two blue eyes looking into my two green ones with absolutely no point what so ever.

It was at that point I began to question if that event had really just happened. It seemed unlikely. I had to push it to the back of my mind.

I should have taken that as the first sign Jonathan Crane was not as normal as I believed he was.

That night Jonathan was coming over to work on the project. I decided against asking him about the small incident in the hallway. I mean it wasn't that big of a deal? He had just stared at me was all. Well that's what I was trying to convince myself.

My mother was running late, so dinner was not even close to done when Jonathan had arrived. Moments before she told me she'd fix a plate for him too. It was a nightmare in my mind. Jonathan Crane, eating dinner with my family? I hoped to any Gods out there that he'd already eaten, decline a plate, and say he wants to work on the project in my room while I ate. But I knew even if he said that, my mother was the type to go upstairs and drag him down for dinner.

"Hey." I said to him opening the door.

When we got upstairs, I sat on my bed while he started up the computer.

"My mom is running late with dinner, and she says she's going to make you a plate. Would you like to join us for dinner?" I asked, fingers secretly crossed behind my back.

It wasn't that I didn't want him to be around. I had no problem with him eating with me. It was just his interaction with my family scared me. I doubted they'd be as open minded as me.

And the fact I still couldn't figure out if I could define Jonathan as my friend didn't help in any matters. I liked Jonathan's ideas and his mind. Did I like him as a person? Sometimes. Did I like him more than my friends maturity wise? I guess. Jonathan seemed to hold himself higher than others and acted older than he really was.

Even if I considered him a friend though, I couldn't see after this project was over if he'd be willing or be the type to hold a friendship down, as he never had experienced friendship. Would we ever talk on the phone late at night like I did with many of my friends? Highly doubtful he would be too busy studying. Would we ever hang out and go places? High doubtful.

So I concluded that after the project ended, I would try to be his friend perhaps? I'd put my effort in, during class when I'd talk to him. Whatever he chose to do with my kindness and effort to be his friend, he may. I wasn't going to be upset if he didn't want to be. The only thing I'd honestly miss about him at this point was our talks about emotions and the mind. He was unique in this aspect and I doubt I'd find anyone with the same interest as me or conflicting views.

"Uh...sure I don't mind eating." He suddenly said breaking me from my thoughts. I think I must have had a weird face displayed or something by the look he was giving me.

I had to recover from this moment turning even more awkward. "Good, my mother makes the best meals. Have you already ate tonight though, I mean if you aren't hunger she'll understand."

"No no, my grandmother normally makes meals for herself and I just snack on something throughout the day. I don't normally eat meals." He said.

To me it sounded like his grandmother was horrible. I couldn't imagine what he had been through.

I knew he didn't want my pity, which is why I held in the 'I'm sorry' 's and the pity speeches, which I always had to say to my other friends when they had simple problems like they had gotten a D on their quiz or their mother grounded them.

My friends would always try to stop me from comforting them, but it was all in illusion. I knew how people worked, they really wanted my comfort, but didn't want to sound needy. Jonathan on the other hand, when he said he didn't need my pity I honestly believed it.

"Well I hope you like this one." I smiled at him, trying to cut the subject short.

He simply nodded and opened our project document. "Now where did we leave off?" He asked himself.

I scooted over to the chair beside him and he began to type. Halfway through his essay, surprisingly he handed me the keyboard.

"Here, add your opinion to this paragraph. We need more than one view for this part or it will sound bias, since it has to do with gender roles and lateralization. If I write simply from a guy's perceptive on gender roles it will sound sexist. But try to be honest on the female brain and how it differs. If you try to claim females are the same guy wise on the emotional level, I will take away your writing privileges." I swore I heard him snicker slightly.

With that I began to type about how females were better at verbal and English skills, in contrast to males being better at visual-spatial and math skills. Then I dove into emotion wise, females talked about feelings more and were more emotional due to their brain. I was just about done when my mother yelling from downstairs that it was time to eat, interrupted.

He looked at me, as if seeking the permission to stand up.

"Come on let's go downstairs." I told him, pushing my chair in.

We walked into my dining room, where my mother was stirring for the last couple times something in a pot. My brother and father were already seated. Father was reading the newspaper and Tyler was busy spacing out, but turned in my direction to get and up close and personal look at the figure following behind me. I sat in my normal seat, which had a newly added plate next to me. Jonathan would have to sit between me and Tyler. Perfect. Tyler would scare him off and he'd never return.

_This night couldn't get any better. _I thought to myself.

I ushered Jonathan to sit next to me, and he awkwardly took his spot.

"Hello Jonathan." My mother said to him in her overly cheery voice as she brought over the stir fry mix she had made. She began to scoop it on everyone's plats evenly and then placed a plate of rolls and a plate of rice on the table for anyone to help themselves too.

"Hello." He said. Keeping his manners high he even smiled at her, slightly.

Everyone began to help themselves to the assortment of food, and ate away at my mother's delicious cooking.

"So are you in Alexis's grade?" My mother asked him, the small talk beginning.

"Yes I am." He responded.

"Looking into any colleges?" She smiled.

"A few, I can't decide yet. Harvard or Yale sounds good, but I have to compare their courses."

"What major are you looking into?"

"Psychology, the medical field, criminal field. It be preferred if their was a combination of all three." He said, grabbing another roll.

Two things amazed me at this point.

One, he was actually eating and seemed to be enjoying the meal.

Two, my mother had known and talked to him for a mere two minutes and knew more about him than I did in years.

I figured the fact Jonathan had to act proper and polite around his grandmother at home, as he had mentioned she was strict and what not, was carrying over now here with another adult. He was acting nice to her out of routine respect he had to forcibly give to his grandmother.

"That sounds fascinating. Alexis is looking into schools that offer great dance studios. Isn't that right?" She looked towards me.

"Yeah I guess." I said, not very interested.

"So how's your project going?" My father suddenly asked, putting down his newspaper.

"Good." I said. "Our essay will be done tonight I think and then we just have the artsy stuff to do."

My father had intended that question for Jonathan, but I didn't want him to have to stare into my father eye's of mistrust. He still was convinced we were doing more than, a 'project'.

"Do any sports Jon?" My dad asked, now using Jonathan's name to make sure that I could not barge in and answer the question for him.

"No, I don't. I wasn't ever good at any." He said, I could see his eyes were annoyed at my father. I figured along with the fact my father's tone was not exactly super nice, he had called him "Jon", something I do not even call him. It seems too informal. Too much of a name I would call him if we were close friends. But yet, he did call me Lex, which would be the same exact situation but turned on me.

I'd have to ask him what he preferred to be called upstairs.

"Nonsense, everyone is good at some sort of sport." My father kept going on. "When I was younger, I ran track and field, cross country, and did baseball. Why with your form, I bet you'd be a good runner. Tried to get my boy Tyler here into running, but he's more of a baseball and soccer kid. But you, definitely look into running, I bet you could sprint real fast."

"I used to run a lot when I was younger." He said, but only I knew that the reason he used to run a lot was to get away from the bullies. I did remember at that point that he did outrun people a lot of the time. "But I guess my studies prevent me from sports."

"Studies? How often do you study everyday?"

"About five hours. Sometimes three if I'm busy." He said, acting as if that was normal for a person to do.

Tyler's jaw dropped. " I study about...two minutes a day."

"Well dear, you should study more than that." My mother told, him and they began to get into a small bicker about studying and social life time and all that. My father, Jonathan, and I remained in our conversation meanwhile.

"That much? Wow. You're grades must be pretty high." He said, clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

"I'm first in our class, all years of high school so far." He said, the cocky tone I was so used to, finally came out. He couldn't resist bragging about himself, even for how polite he was for the time being. His shell that he put up of the fake Jonathan Crane was slipping.

"So you're one of the few beating Alexis. I think, she's what-...what are you honey?" My father looked to me for the answer.

"I'm second in our class dad..." I sounded slightly embarrassed.

"So you're the only one a head of her." He restated.

"I guess I am." His cocky toned down a little, but the sense of pride was like an aura around him. I had the sudden urge the elbow him in the stomach while he placed his rice filled fork into his mouth so it would send little rice rockets all across the table. But I held my urge in.

He scooped up the remaining food on his plate and put his silverware on it to signal he was done.

"Well you better watch out, next year I might be number one." I told him, smirking. I felt satisfaction thinking if my statement got to him that he'd be a worrying wreck all next year.

"Highly unlikely." He smirked back, obviously I didn't phase him.

My elbow actually twitched towards his rib cage at this point.

"Did you like the food?" My mother asked, standing up and gathering the empty plates.

"Yes It was very good, never had food like this." He said nodding his head.

"Really?" She asked him, slightly smiling.

"Yes, thank you very much."

"Mom do you need help?" I asked her.

"No, no go work on your project you two." She used her hand to usher us to leave. Tyler started for the door. "But not you, young man. You have to help me, and then we have to talk about the call from the school I got about something you did to the lunch lady?"

With that Jonathan and I returned to my room and took our usual spots. He started to type and remained in eerie silence for a little. I broke it.

"I just wanna say thanks, for acting um...proper? In front of my parents I mean to say." I told him awkwardly.

"I've had practice at home on how to act around adult figures." Was all he said.

Like I had figured, his grandmother.

"Why don't you act like that to teacher's though?" I asked, putting slight laughter into my tone so he wouldn't get offended.

"Because our teachers are all idiots who don't know what they are talking about and entered a skill which they are not suited. You're parents are in fields which they are suited. You're mother as you said before owns a flower shop. She is bubbly and happy, so she is suited for her field of work and does not claim to know things that she really doesn't. Your father is a cop, which would explain his mistrust in me and others and his constant questioning which have more than one meaning to them. I took the time to make mental note of these things with my little interaction with them. They are fit for their jobs."

"Wow, I didn't think of it that way. I guess you're right though. Their personalities fit their jobs. Yanno sometimes you amaze me with how smart you are."

And that's where my face turned BRIGHT red, as I had not meant to say the last sentence. It was a mental thought or just something I said without thinking.

What I said would add to his pride and cocky side and make me seem less smart like he still had a slight convinced perspective that I was. The fact I was second in class and he was first also was a fitting example to show how he was smarter than I was.

"You'll learn one day how to read people as I do." He said, which surprised me. "It just takes practice."

He typed more, and I decided since the essay just needed fine tuning now, I'd let him edit it for now and I'd work on the poster. I sat on my bed and began sketching out on scarp paper how I wanted it to look.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Well you just did, but if you mean can you ask me another thing followed by that, then sure." He said, not taking his eye off the screen.

"Do you prefer Jonathan or Jon? Because you seemed annoyed when my father addressed you by Jon." I didn't want to look up from my own paper at this point. I was unsure if he'd grow angered by this question.

"I prefer Jonathan from strangers and people who I wish to show me the utter most respect. So him addressing me like that when I barely know him I found to be rude. Let me turn this around on you, what do you prefer to be called?"

"Um...well. I don't care. I've been called many things. Alexis, Ally, Lex, Lexie. So I don't mind anything I guess." I said, conflustered.

"You know, you say "I guess" a lot. You should stop guessing all the time and be confident in what you say, Lex." His words flowed out of his mouth lightly and I could see out of the corners of my eyes, that he was looking at me for just a moment.

He said it again.

Lex.

I don't know why, but the tone he always said that in was just different than I had been called with it before. As if, by him saying it, was confirming to me that Lex, Alexis whatever I was, was actually who I was. That my lack of confidence was met because I knew who I was. It was hard to explain and even as I explain now I can not fully say why when he says Lex it is so different and better than anyone else who calls me it.

"Then, I like it when you call me Lex." I said, trying to show off that I am confident in what I say and don't use "I guess" all the time. But my word choice was very, in a lack of a better sense, icky.

I looked up, trying to recover from what I just said, but was at a loss for words. He looked at me, slightly baffled and slightly amused.

"What else do you like that I do, Lex?" He asked, trying to humor me, for he too realized how my words choice could be taken in many different aspects.

"Okay, okay. I get it. Bad wording on my part. Don't have to make a mockery of it." I rolled my eyes and smiled.

He was getting more comfortable with me as now he was cracking jokes, not obvious punch line jokes, but ones that I could pick up on.

"No. You're making me forget why I even brought this whole topic up!" I acted frustrated jokingly. "Oh! No what I mean to say is do you want me to call you Jonathan or Jon? That's all I wanted to know, not what I like that you do."

"Well in your case, I guess Jon will do." He turned back to the screen.

I quickly pointed at him and threw a pillow, with my mouth open in amused shock.

It hit him on the side of his head, and landing beside him. He jumped up in shock.

"Hey! What was that for?" He grew angry, until he saw I was pointing at him half smiling, half shocked. "Why are you staring at me like that, with that idiotic look?"

"You just said 'I guess'!" I told him.

He looked confused for half a second, then the realization came over him.

It made me realize that Jonathan Crane was not perfect, no matter how high or how much he appeared himself to be. It also confirmed that he was indeed human. He had feelings, and he had flaws. It felt great.

"Well, there goes my example of my confident answers to you. Ignore my previous sentence, I didn't mean it though in the mannerism that I was not confident, I just meant it as if I don't care. I guess you can call me whatever you prefer." He tried to recover, obviously frustrated that whatever he said would not wipe the smile of growing self pride off my face.

"Jonathan Crane is human after all." I spoke, still smiling. "No matter how much you try, you have to understand you have flaws."

"Of course I know that. I am not some alien life form. Everyone has flaws. I just don't show mine often, and that isn't even a good example of a flaw, Lex." He gained his composure.

"But you always try to hold yourself to other that you're better than everyone else and are perfect." I decided at this point if he grew angry, I didn't care. He had to be able to handle this type of conversation with me at this point.

"I **am** better than almost everyone I have ever come in contact with. I hold myself in high regard because I know I better than everyone. There are few people greater than me and those who are are dead. Past scientists and researchers. But no one I have met in my life is better than I am. Why hide my confidence in that?" He had turned his chair towards me, I could hear the printer in the background printing out our essay that he had finished.

"Because in social society, you will never get a job, or be able to have friendships if you do that. People won't hire you if you think you are better than your boss. People won't want to stick around you if you make them feel like they are nothing."

"Well, it is like you just saw in front of your parents. I can put up a good acting job around people I need too." He tossed the pillow back at me and I caught it, putting it back in its rightful place.

"Why around them though?" I asked.

"Because if I acted like I do around you and other people, they would not allow me back in your household, which would be negative for our project and our grade. It would be impossible to complete out project at this point if I was not allowed back in. I picked up on your father's attitude and aspect of people and acted the part so he wouldn't hate me. He doesn't have to like me, as I don't certainly care for him or anyone else, but if I was rude he'd be able to jump on the opportunity to throw me out the front door. Get it?"

"I do..." I also understood why he hated people. Being bullied all those years really messed with his head. "But honestly do you think your better than me Jon?"

"Honestly?" He asked, slightly taken back I called him Jon.

"Yes honestly."

"I'm not going to lie to you, I do think I am better than you are and what you will ever be. I'm not going to sit here and feed you information that would make you feel good about yourself or what you want to hear. But look at your life style and look at mine. Truth, Lex, you are very smart, but you aren't as dedicated to the field of study as I am."

It stung. I tried not to show it, but it stung pretty deep. I figured he would say that he was better than me, but better than I could ever be? He didn't know what I would become in life, neither did I at that point.

"Oh, did I hurt your feelings?" He said, not seeming like he cared at all. My face I thought was being very blank, but he could read my eyes.

Eyes always gave people away. No matter what.

"No you didn't. You gave me motivation." I told him, trying to smile to the best of my ability.

"Motivation?" He raised an eyebrow.

"To become better than you will ever be." I smiled.

"We'll see one day then, won't we?" He smirked at me.

"It's a date." I told him, raising my eyebrows and smiling even more, trying to make him feel up to the challenge I was placing on him.

"Heh, a challenge, that you won't even cross the starting line of."

"Well you count your chickens before they hatch."

"Enough metaphors Lex, it would take years of catching up to where I am today for you to be at the same place as me, and by the time you reach that point, I will already be ten steps ahead of you. You will need to catch up and then its a huge cycle with no end."

"We'll see one day won't we?" I told him.

"We'll see one day." He repeated.

We spent the next hour working on the poster. I gave him the blueprints and he printed words, pictures, and various things that I would find the proper placement of on the poster board. I decorated it with 3D effects and yes even glitter, which made him chuckle.

Once he printed everything, he brought the remainder things over and sat on the opposite side of my bed as me, looking down at the poster and though he could see it upside down, he said I did a decent job of making it look nice.

Nothing of course was ever perfect to him.

It would be slightly awkward if my father came in to check on us and he was sitting on my bed. Though there was a big distance between us, fatherly eyes would make it appear like we were furiously hiding something and had been on top of each other just moment before he walked into the room.

Oh well. Let him think what he may.

"So tomorrow..." I said, gluing a piece of paper with typed information on it down, "I can't work on the project."

"Why not? We probably only have two more times to meet to finish it. One more if we are fast."

"I have to go to a friend's house."

"Can't it wait for another day. If we work days in a row our information and ideas remain fresh. A day in between for a break would cause us to lose ideas." He seemed angry on the inside, but was trying to keep calm to convince me in a nice manner.

"Well it can't...it's a party so it's set on that date."

"Oh please don't tell me you are going to that party that has been talked about all around school. Cody's isn't it? Oh don't look at me like that. I may remain silent in school half the time, but people talk loud and I can hear everything that goes on. Even stuff I don't like or care about. It's that party isn't it?"

I shut my shocked mouth and absentmindedly scratched the side of my face. "Yeah it is that party."

"Lex, there is no point to those. All it's going to be is a house full of people getting drunk, doing drugs, and dancing around like mindless fools. You are better than that and shouldn't waste your time with that." He leaned back on the wall, while he sat on my bed.

"Why do you care?" I suddenly asked, as his statements contradict everyone he told me earlier.

"I don't care, if you go I'm not going to stop you or tell your parents or anything that a person who really would care would do. I just believe that you have potential to do good things with that mind of yours, nothing compared to what I will do of course, but never the less. You surround yourself with people you don't care about and are going to do stupid things with them, that waste away your brain cells."

"That sounds like you care about my brain and my mind by what you just said. So what I'm going? I'm not going to drink or anything."

"Honestly the only thing I care about is not doing the project." He said, growing irritated. "So what's the point in going then?"

"I-...Why again I ask, do you care?"

"I don't. I clearly stated this twice. I don't care. I just care because you are ditching our project to waste your time. You're only going because you are fascinated with that blonde one aren't you? Cody?"

"No I'm not." I yelled defensively. My girlish side was taking over.

"It's clearly obvious. I sit next to you in science don't you recall? I see how you interact with him. You're not good at hiding your fascination with him."

"Well I'll just get better at it then." I said. "I-...ahhh. Blehfd." I began to speak incoherently as I just openly admitted to him I liked Cody.

He stared at me with that stupid cocky grin of his that made my violent thoughts race through my head.

"Okay, wipe that grin off your face, yes I do like him. But don't tell anyone."

"Who would I tell? Let me just go tell my best friend so she'll blab it to everyone. It will be all the talk of the school." He put a slight girl tone to his voice, and then seemed to not care about our topic anymore.

"Well I don't know who else you talk to besides me." I stated.

"Close to zero people outside my family."

"Okay, I'm just defensive is all."

"Well you shouldn't be. It's quite obvious he likes you too, Lex."

"Really?" Then I shut my mouth, I was getting too excited with my tone and this was starting to just get weird. I wanted to abort all communication right now.

Where was the off button on Jonathan Crane?

"Look, I don't really want to get into this anymore I just need to go to this. It's only one day. We can work on it on Saturday. You can even come over at like one o'clock! It will be fine."

"Fine." He said.

"I printed the essay. Two copies. I'm taking one home and leaving one here. We shall both pen edit it and combine our edits and ideas Saturday then." He finally agreed with us not working on it tomorrow, but didn't seemed too thrilled with it all.

Oh well, I thought to myself.

It was only one night I was going to be out and about.

After he left I laid in my bed, and rested my head on my pillow. I noticed it smelled a bit odd. Not in a bad way, but in a way that it normally doesn't. It smelled like some sort of body spray or shampoo. I realized then I was laying on the pillow I had thrown at Jonathan's head and I was smelling whatever product he put in his hair.

It made me realize, he indeed did shower, as not washed hair would not smell like this.

It wasn't an unpleasant smell, so I felt no need to flip over my pillow to rid my nostrils of it.

It was pretty odd though. Falling asleep to the smell of Jonathan Crane, was not something I had expected to happen in my life.

* * *

The next day, science class was a very less eventful day. Jonathan didn't really talk to me, except when we had a break and he pulled out our essay and began to edit it. I could tell it still angered him that we weren't working on the project, but he'd have to get over it as I was not changing my mind at all.

That night I told my mother I was sleeping over Amy's house, and packed my belongings in my tote bag. I began my trek through Gotham City, to Cody's apartment complex. It was about a mile walk, but it didn't bother me.

It was still daylight out, and the five o'clock traffic was lining the streets full of adults who were anxious to get home. The constant honking and bickering of drivers was enough to give anyone not accustom to city life a splitting headache, but it didn't phase me anymore. Only a few people I passed on my walk gave me the creeps, but there I was a high school teenager walking around alone in Gotham, so I was an easy target. But the amount of people walking around made me felt safe.

And when someone says they feel safe in Gotham, it's more like a orange on the terrorist color list. It means there is a threat that is very high that you could be killed, but no one is pointing a gun at you, so you're good.

My feet got a little tired when I was almost halfway there so I stopped and sat on a little ledge on the side of a building. I people watched and saw how everyone's face was between anger and depressed.

No one was ever happy here. Their was only one happy couple I saw that were in their late eighties, and they were probably happy, because they had lived their lives and were almost done with the terrible city we lived in.

I got back up and made the rest of my trek, feeling a little better, but the sun was beginning to set. Luckily I got to Cody's house before it was dark.

I made my way up the stairwell to the fifth floor and down the hallway to his room number. I could already hear music playing once I got within a few doorways of his room.

I knocked on the door a couple times before Jackson answered, a red cup in his hands and his eyes dilated to the fullest extent.

"Already Jackson?" I asked him.

"Lexi!" He said with too much enthusiasm. He hugged me, a bit too tightly picking me up off the ground causing me to drop my bag.

"Pu- Put- Down." I tried to choke out, barely able to breath.

He let me go and ushered me inside, where I got a good look at the room.

It was pretty crowded for the amount of room. The living room and kitchen were flooded with people, many dancing and holding cups or standing around talking. The television was also on playing a sports game, but it could not be heard well unless you were sitting in front of it because of the music playing. The floor was already trashed with discarded cups, ash, and odd assortments. A few people were already falling onto the floor drunkenly and a game of beer pong was going on in the kitchen.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time, but finding my friends in the crowd was proving to be difficult. I wanted to find Amy and Sarah. Cody would be another story.

I finally made my way through the crowd to the kitchen where I found the two. Amy was eating a bowl of cereal and Sarah was a participant in the beer pong.

I knew Sarah would be the one who would not be the drunk one at the party. She'd be a little buzzed but she had work in the morning and was smart when it came to that sort of thing. Amy was the opposite, already looking a bit drunk, when I realized it wasn't milk in her cereal but some sort of vodka. I mentally threw up.

I took the bowl from her. She protested a bit, but gave in when I handed her an apple I found on the counter. I dumped the contents of the bowl down the sink and turned to Sarah who finished her game.

"What's up?" I asked her, leaning on the counter.

Sarah sat up on it next to me. "Well Amy is already gone."

"I know I took away her cereal, which had some sort of drink in it."

"That's sort of gross." Sarah laughed. "So just warning you, if you need to go to the bathroom, the one that's in the hallway has couples having sex in there, so knock first and if no one answers...knock again. I found out the hard way and will never look at Joey the same way again."

"Oh god," I scrunched up my nose in disgust.

"Yeah. Cody said he was going to lock his parents room because of it but it was too late people are in there too, so he got fed up and locked his own room. So basically that's the safe house of the house haha."

"Where is Cody by the way?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager.

"He's around somewhere. I think he's with Andrew. Jackson has been coming up to me and Amy on and off so next time he shows up, I'll let you know." Sarah, picked up an apple herself from the counter top and ate it on and off as we spoke.

"It's pretty crazy here for only six thirty." I stated.

"Yeah. I got here two hours ago. What took you?" She asked.

"Dance practice. So dancing here might cause me to die of exhaustion." I chuckled. "I actually felt my feet get tired on the walk over here."

"Hey I can give you a ride home tomorrow if you want. I'm just leaving here around ten or eleven in the morning, is that okay?"

"Yeah that's fine, but I just don't know how you are going to get to sleep here by the amount of noise."

"Well when the overly horny sex crazed teenagers get out of the parents room, I'm going in there and locking the door behind me." She smiled.

"And if they don't get out in a reasonable amount of time, I'll kick them out for you." I told her nudging her side.

"You wouldn't want to. You'll see sights that will make your eyes bleed."

Just then Jackson walked over to us, putting an arm around me and attempting to put an arm around Sarah, but due to her height from sitting on the counter top he found it difficult and settled for putting a hand on her knee.

"Hey ladies, how are you on this fine evening?"

"Very good Jackson. How are you?" Sarah said. I could tell by the tone of her voice she had, had this conversation with Jackson multiple times earlier.

"I'm as happy as a clam." He said.

"What?" I turned to him and just as I did Cody walked over to us, followed by Andrew.

I could not hide the smile that came across my face as I saw his dirty blonde hair and smirk come into my vision.

"Lexi! You made it." Cody smiled, throwing his empty cup in the nearby trash. Cody was a little drunk, but not as much as the people around him. He could hold himself well, and his speech was fine. I wasn't particularly found of people who are drunk, so I was happy to see he was at least more than halfway normal.

"Not dancing?" Andrew asked.

"I just had dance practice. Enough dancing for me." I said.

"Too tired to." Sarah said.

"It's getting pretty crazy here." Cody said. "Come on, we can watch how idiotic people look."

"Sure." I chuckled. Cody lead us over to the threshold of the kitchen. I leaned on the wall, and he stood by me and we watched the people dancing and chatting.

I looked back for Sarah, but was surprised to see her and Andrew standing between her legs and cupping her face in his hands. They began to kiss and that's when I turned away.

Good for her. I thought to myself. If there was one fake friend of mine I had to say I was fine with it would be Sarah. I felt like on the inside she was just like me in the aspect of only remaining friends with people to fit in. Maybe one day her and I could talk about it. We could find ourselves to have more in common than we thought.

I turned back to people watch with Cody. The boys by the television stood up and cheered. Touch down.

"What's wrong Lex?" Cody asked suddenly and I turned my head towards him as I folded my arms across my chest.

"Nothing just-..."

"Bored?" He finished for me.

"A little. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry I'm a little bored too. You know it wasn't even my idea to have the party. All I said to-"

"I'm sorry I can't hear you." I interrupted, unable to hear over the massive noise and music.

"I said I-...Oh never mind follow me." He held started to walk back into the kitchen and reached back for my hand to help lead me through the crowds of people in our way. I held on to his warm hand, gripping it tightly whenever I had to cut through the drunk crowds.

He lead us down the hallway and he took out a key unlocking his room. He lead me inside and locked it behind him. The music and talking was droned out by the walls, though it was still there. A nuisance in the background.

I felt a slight twinge of happiness to be in his room with him by ourselves.

He sat down in his computer chair and I leaned against a wall near the door.

"Sorry I was getting a headache." He said. "What I was trying to say is it wasn't my idea to have the party. Jackson and Andrew heard my parents would be out for the weekend and then started telling people to come over. So once I found out half the school was going I guess I just gave in and let them have their way with my household."

"Sorry, they have to be such tools sometimes." I said rolling my eyes.

"Heh, that they are. Whatever, It was getting boring out there. We can stay in here and just chill. Get rid of my stupid headache."

A few knocks were heard on the door, but ended.

"Don't worry that happens frequently. When I was in here before, someone knocked and came in thinking it was the bathroom. I just now lock and ignore." He smiled.

"I hope the police don't crash the party. You'll get in a lot of trouble. And it's not even worth it if this wasn't your idea."

"Yeah the only positive side to this is I get to hang out with you, Lex." He chuckled.

Instant red face. He knew just what to say to make me get butterflies in my stomach.

"That's hardly anything out of the ordinary." I stated, knowing we have hung out with our large group of friends before.

"Yeah, but I get to just chill with you. No one else talking all the time barely giving me time to think or relax." He rubbed his head.

"Yeah our group is a rather loud one. Well half our group right now isn't being loud though right now. Did you see Andrew and Sarah when we came in here?" I smirked.

"They'd be a good couple. He really likes her. But-...if they don't remember anything in the morning or something, don't tell Sarah I told you that." He quickly added.

"I won't, I won't. I don't spread stuff."

"I know, you're not like other girls who all they do is gossip." He stood up and pushed his chair in, resting his hands on it.

"Well I just don't see the point in it, yanno?"

"Yeah. And that's what I like about you. You're not like other girls, with all their drama and bickering and gossip. You just go with the flow of things." I think the small amount of alcohol in his system was giving him the confidence to speak to me like this. His liquid confidence.

He let go of the chair and stood a bit in front of me, not particularly close, but not particularly far either.

"Thank you." Was all I could think to say, a bit baffled.

"Well, you are welcome." He smiled, stepping a bit closer to me.

At that moment, I found his breath hitting my face slightly and my eyes darting back and forth between his lips and his eyes. Somehow he had gotten so close to me, his chest was pressing into mine. I must have blacked out for a moment, my nerves growing with each passing second.

The distance between our mouths closed and I felt his hands go to my waist to pull me in close to our moment.

It was also in that moment all the hype about a first kiss went into instant disappointment. First of all his lips were very dry and chap, but then suddenly went to very moist and wet when he began to shove his tongue suddenly into my mouth, not even allowing a second for me to attempt to enjoy the overly dry and itchy like kiss.

I didn't know what to do. It was a bit awkward. For a first kiss, I was not happy and wanted out, but our little make out session continued for what felt like hours. I hoped he was kissing that bad due to his slight intoxication. His hands began to wander on my body, feeling up my upper self, which was slightly uncomfortable and non pleasuring. Even though it was above my shirt, he squeezed at me a few times and it was a little too rough for my comfort.

If we had been in the heat of an intense moment, then hell I was all for it, but this was just one of the worst 'romantic' moments ever.

When he pulled away and I finally got a breath of fresh non liquor tasting air, I slyly moved to my left to avoid another round.

"I'm getting a bit tired." I said, acting exhausted and happy. It must have been the greatest acting job ever, because he bought it.

"Well we can lay on my bed, unless of course you want to sleep out there on the floor like all the unlucky ones." He said, slightly out of breath.

"No no of course I'll lay in your bed with you." Just as long as he didn't try to have a goodnight kiss or something.

I began to wish I never went to the party. My perception of Cody certainly changed a bit, as obviously he was a bit more drunk that I lived him up to be and everything about the night was awkward.

I laid underneath the covers and Cody laid next to me, but I turned my back to him. His hands rubbed my legs a few times, staying extra close to the top of my jeans, acting as if he was going to try to explore a 'new' part of my body.

"Too tired." I mumbled, acting tired again.

"Okay okay." He whispered.

He wrapped his hand around my waist, trying to keep me close to him, and within minutes he had fallen asleep.

I took this moment to go over to the armchair across the room and lay in that to the best of my ability. I didn't trust him in his mindset at the moment. If were to wake up I could find myself waking up to something that would be just plain awkward and possibly considered a count of molestation.

Whatever.

I avoided it and went to sleep uncomfortably.

That night I dreamed about Jonathan for some odd reason. It was a short dream, but it involved him stabbing me with a broken bottle. It was odd I know. There was no point to it at all. No hidden meaning that I could find. All he did was stab me with a bottle in the stomach and I didn't feel any pain, but the lack of blood caused me to fall to the ground. I was trying to apply pressure to the cut to stop it, when I woke up to Sarah nudging me.

I woke up and saw Cody was in his bed, some other female laying next to him. Next to the bed strewn across the floor were articles of clothing and beer cans. A few other people were on the floor laying down.

Yes, my perception of Cody had changed completely at this point. Since, I was not one to deliver to him, he had woken up and found someone else. Whether he'd remember anything when he woke up was beyond me.

I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach or something, but I didn't let it show as Sarah helped me up and I felt instant pain in my shoulders from the awkward position I had to lay in.

I didn't like Cody anymore. That was for sure. In fact, at that moment I felt disgust towards males.

All they wanted was sexual pleasure.

Sarah drove me home, and I walked up my stairwell and went back to bed for a few hours, with a heating pad underneath my shoulders.

My mother woke me up at noon with a plate of salad and bread for my lunch.

"Not feeling well?" She asked.

"No I'm fine, I just am sore." In fact, I felt like I was at my absolute low of my teenage hood. The boy I held in such high standards was just like everyone else.

She left me alone, her motherly instinct knowing I was upset somehow. I ate my lunch and decided I'd have to get a good hour of practice for dance in, since it was my daily routine. Our studio didn't have practice Saturdays, which left us to have to at home if we chose.

Jonathan was suppose to be over in the next hour or so, so I figured I'd squeeze it in and it would also help me get my mind off everything.

I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top and got to work. I stretched out my body, finding arm stretches increasingly difficult due to my pain.

I turned on my boom box and played our routine music. I'd practice without my ballet shoes on, which would be fine for now, I'd just have to improvise a bit.

I spent an hour putting my heart and soul into my dancing, only messing up a few times on the high jumps with my legs. I ended up falling even, as I didn't have enough height to my jump and my leg got caught in the air. The pain was momentarily there, but I got right back up and began again.

I was just into my legwork, when I turned and jumped in the air. I landed to see the face of Jonathan in my doorway. I didn't hear him enter from my music playing and my mother obviously let him in without telling me.

I grew a bit embarrassed at that point. I didn't show off my dance skills to anyone outside of the family and my fellow dancers. None of my friends would come to my shows as I never invited them to it. Dance was sort of my private release of my emotions and something special to me.

Jonathan Crane, just saw me in my private moment. I felt the redness and heat in my face. I even sat down where I stood and stared at him in disbelief that he was there.

"Sorry...Your mother let me in and I knocked- and." He realized I was embarrassed.

"It's fine, I just...Sorry I must have looked very odd." I knew my facial expressions when I danced were very into it, sometimes I'd even find myself crying when I finished a routine. That's how into a dance I could get. I slightly thanked God it wasn't one of those dances.

"No, you didn't look odd. You actually are quite good at dancing." He said, shutting the door behind him and stepping further in the room towards me. He felt awkward, but I could tell he was trying to make me feel less embarrassed. "You live up to all the trophies you have." He added.

"Thanks." I smiled, standing up and putting a sweatshirt on, feeling a bit too exposed to him at this point and a bit chilled by the hallway air coming into the room for the brief moment my door was open. "How long were you standing there though?"

"Two seconds." He said.

I glared at him.

"About a minute." He said again.

"Why didn't you yell to me or stop me?" I asked, sitting on my bed.

"I didn't want to interrupt. You seemed very into your dance."

A twinge of embarrassment ran into my stomach again. He did pick up on my face and being too into dancing. I'd expect nothing less from him and his reading of people. "I'm sorry I'm very embarrassed." I said out loud.

"Don't be. You just have a passion for your dance. There is nothing wrong with that." He tried to assure me.

He tried to change subjects, back to our business like way of communications. "So I edited our paper, and found a few errors. Do you have yours?"

Oh crap.

"Um...I-"

"You didn't edit it did you?" His face fell flat, obviously not amused.

"I forgot honestly, I'm sorry. It's just I had practice last night and then the party and I just got home a few hours ago. I had no time-." I tried to sound reasonable and looked at him seeking him to understand, but he was not the understanding type. He didn't even want me to go in the first place, so my excuse annoyed him even more.

He was too obsessed with his grades and schoolwork I decided again.

"This is just what I expected. I think you already put in your white flag of surrendering to this challenge you created the other day of you trying to be better than me. With your lifestyle you are hurting your mind and you will never amount to anything in life." He suddenly raised his voice in anger. "All I ask for you to do, in exchange for not going to work on the project that night is to simply edit our essay so we can get it done faster, and you don't follow through."

"I'm sorry..." I felt bad honestly. I disappointed him and any chance of me trying to prove myself to him seemed to be falling over a cliff.

"Was it worth it?" He asked, sitting on the opposite side of my bed, leaning his back on the wall.

"No it honestly wasn't. I had a horrible time. But honestly, I didn't drink or anything like that. I just...I wish I listened to you and didn't go. I would have had a much better time working on a boring project with you than be there and-..." I stopped my sentence. I felt myself growing instantly sad, but I held it in.

I looked at him hoping his angered face would cause me to compose myself, but his face was blank and looking at me as if he was trying to read me.

"No, tell me what happened." He suddenly said, flatly. His voice was extremely calm and almost soothing to my ears, but it certainly didn't help my sadness.

I looked down at my legs and even shut my eyes, to keep myself steady emotion wise.

"I just didn't have a good time. I didn't fit in." I said, my voice teetering from normal to shaky.

"How so? You've always acted like you were apart of that group your whole life, how could you not at something as normal in high school as a party?" His tone wasn't helping at all. For some reason it was making me even more sad if that was possible.

I found tears streaming down my face, but I didn't raise my head up. All he could see of me was the top of my head and where my hair parted. I would not give him the satisfaction of seeing how much of a wreck I was.

"Because, Cody-"

"So this is about the boy." I heard him chuckle.

"He's not just a boy." I said defensively. "I really liked him."

"Emphasis the 'ed' in liked." He repeated the word another time.

"Yeah well, he kissed me and it was just horrible and awkward since he was drunk. Later he tried to go further, but I denied him and I wake up to find he slept with some other chick."

"This is high school Alexis. There is no such thing as love or romance. Just people who care about the sexual aspects of relationships. No one cares about personality or the mind anymore. You need to learn this." He didn't sound caring or comforting, more just as if he was stating it flat out, as if I should know better or something. "This is just a case of expectations shut down and a crushed teenage heart."

"I know. I shouldn't be this upset." I slyly wiped my eyes and looked up and him, but the redness and wetness of my face must have given away to him I was crying.

"He's not worth your tears. And you don't have to hide emotions from me. We are all human you know." His face suddenly went from blank to a smile. "But just think about my plans. Wouldn't it be great for one day to not feel the emotion you are feeling right now? Just take a pill or a shot or anything and instantly feel relief from the burden of sadness or anger?" He said.

"The day you achieve that, sign me up as the guinea pig for the tests. I really would love to not feel this pain." I smiled at him slightly laughing.

"Don't say that or I will take you up on that offer, and the first few tests might not end well." He said with all honesty. "But within a month or so, you'll be over him and realize relationships at a young age are not worth anything. Relationships in general are not worth it. People in society don't understand what love is. They think they do, but all their love definition ends in the words sex or attraction. That isn't what love is, and I know I am not one to be talking as I have never experienced this emotion, but that is what I believe it to be, just by observing everyone. People are in love with the illusion of being in love."

"That's deep." I said in slight shock at how his words were making me feel better and more composed. "I'm so fascinated that you know so much about emotion. You know, your probably right about one thing. I won't ever be able to catch up to where you are smarts wise. But I can try can't I?" I added trying to make him be humored with my notion.

"We'll see in ten years then, won't we?" He laughed.

"Maybe. Hey, sorry about my state of mind, I'm just-"

"It doesn't bother me. Your only human. You have every right to feel an emotion. And honestly, you didn't act how I assumed you would. You are very good at keeping your composure for the most part. In my life, I've observed females crying and not ceasing for a long time and seeking comfort or hugs or people feeding them lies just to make them feel better. I'm not going to sit here and say 'Oh it will get better, just give him another chance, he was drunk', no I'm not going to. I'm going to tell you the flat out truth and you do what you may with it. Many people can't handle the truth."

"I can."

"Well for the most part." He passed me his edited paper. "But I have some nasty truth for you, your punctuation is horrible."

I rubbed my head and smiled, laughing at his manner of changing the subject.

"Oh no! Not that." I joked to him. "I can't handle that." I threw the paper back at him, and put my hands over my face faking a cry.

"Well get used to it, you over use the comas and semi colons. Sometimes I feel like the reader would be able to tell what I wrote and what you did. We need to combine our sentences to make it flow better.

We spent the next few hours editing and adding to our essay. Once it was done, and the finished product was printed I felt like a big chunk of the project weight was off our shoulders. We took about a ten minute break, talking about music as I had turned on the radio.

I came to find Jonathan preferred classical piano and despised country and pop. I did like classical and show music, but pop to me was so catchy and better to dance to when messing around. I played a few of the tracks from my ballet mix, and he was able to identify most of the songs.

After a bit we worked on the poster more and surprisingly completed it within two hours. It looked like a well made and effort filled poster, and not something a normal high schooler would work on.

"All that's left is our 3D model, which is the one that is stumping me." He said.

"Jonathan Crane stumped? That's a first." I said.

He sent a glare, which I deemed to be a joke, hopefully. Then he sat in thought as well as I did.

"Well I know the obvious choice." I said.

"What?"

"Playdo."

"No."

"Why?"

"This is not middle school and everyone else will be using that."

"So? Its the easiest."

"It will be our backup plan."

"Okay, know it all, let's use ice and make an ice sculpture, no one else will do that!" I said sarcastically.

"It would melt."

"No shit."

We another moment in thought.

"Why don't we use the adult version of Playdo." I said.

"What's that?"

"Clay?"

"Ugh."

"Well we could have it on fixtures so we can open up the brain and show off the individual sections and what not."

"That's actually not as half as bad of an idea as I thought it be." He said rubbing his head.

"See, I think I caught up to your smarts now." I smiled, confidently at him.

"You should quit while your ahead." He said back to me flatly.

"Well anyways I think that be a good idea, but we'd need to pick up the supplies." I said.

"To the store?" He inquired.

"Are you sure? We can do it tomorrow?" I said.

"No no, we have time. We can get almost all if not all it done today."

With that we left my house together and walked a couple blocks to the nearest CVS. On the walk, we would make comments on people we passed by and how ridiculous they would act. My normal orange radar safe feeling was now more of a yellow when I walked with him. Walking with another person in Gotham made you less likely to end up getting mugged. It was getting dark even now, and I knew the walk back would be street lit.

Entering the store we went to the arts and craft section. We found clay at a reasonable price and picked up some pink and red paints as well. Jonathan also found some wedges and other odd assortments we could use to have the clay be able to move back and forth to 'open' the brain in sections.

We split the cost of it all, which wasn't that much to begin with and made our walk back.

We passed by a couple food selling placing and I found myself hungry. I think he realized he was hungry too as we both looked at each other as if wanting the other to initiate the idea to grab something to eat quickly.

I decided too and caved in.

"Hey can we stop at a fast food joint or something? I'm starving."

"I was thinking the same thing, I realize how late it is and we didn't even eat lunch."

I glanced at my cell phone to check the time and it was nearing eight o'clock. I nodded and we stopped in the nearest fast food restaurant. We both ordered some sort of sandwich, a french fry, and a drink. I was feeling extra fat so I got a milkshake. He offered to pay out of curtsy, but I declined his offer and paid for my own meal.

We ate there, and it wasn't as awkward as I thought it be. We merely ate and chatted about how we were going to try to make a full size brain out of clay.

"This whole project requirements are ridiculous. I can see a paper and poster, but a 3D model seems a bit much for high school." I said, dipping my fry into sweet and sour sauce.

"He is just preparing us for college, and the amount of time he is giving us to complete it is rather long. We are going to end up getting it done a week ahead of schedule." He took another bite of his chicken sandwich and crumpled his wrapper up, throwing it in the bag our food came in.

"True. What do you think college is going to be like?" I asked him.

"Like high school, but bigger and more work. Some people will mature, and other will still be as if they are in high school, no not even. More like still in middle school. The work will be hard and studying will take up most of your life."

"Sounds like the time of your life."

"Oh it will be. I hold college professors in higher respect than our teachers. They actually have to be smart to get their position, but I am not going to have any big expectations. They always let a few dumb ones into the mix." He laughed.

We continued our chat for a bit and made the walk home. It was around nine when we left and the streets had cleared out of the usual crowd of people walking home from work. Out and about, were the weirdos and drug addicts, and then the two of us.

We probably could fall into the weirdo category though as we were an odd sort to be walking around. Here I was the blonde, typical high schooler walking with the long greasy haired, glasses dawned, acne ridden face, book worm.

Our species were not suppose to interact and here we were walking down the street together back to my house after eating a fattening meal at a local fast food place.

The walk we passed by a few questionable people, that if I was alone I'd feel uncomfortable passing, but soon enough we were back at my house and trying to mold clay into a brain.

It proved to be the most challenging part of our project. For an hour we tried and Jonathan ended up smashing the clay between his fingers wrecking our attempted progress.

"It's getting late, I should be returning home." He stood up and grabbed his coat from my chair, which he drooped it over. "We can finish this damn thing tomorrow. I don't care if you attempt to get it working before I come over, cause honestly art work is not in my forte."

I smiled. "Okay, I'll see what I can do in my spare time. Same time tomorrow though?"

"Actually, how about a little later. I have to go to the library and return some books and get some new ones. I end up spending a good few hours there so perhaps and three or four?"

"That's fine. Goodnight then." I smiled, and he gave a nod of acknowledgment and left my room shutting the door behind him.

I spent the next few minutes trying to fall asleep but it was useless. So I gave up and started trying to work on our brain. But it simply could not hold up its own weight if we tried to attach wedges to it to allow it to move.

I decided to try to hallow the clay pieces out and put in some bendable pipe cleaners within the clay to allow it to have some support. It actually started to work and I did the rough outline of the brain. Satisfied I went to bed.

A thought hit me and out of impulse I smelled the pillow I laid on.

No scent.

His scent had faded over the day. It didn't bug me, I just wanted to check is all.

Instead I fell asleep to the scent of clay, because of the way I like to lay down my hands are close to my head and clay was stuck underneath my fingernails.

Yuck.

The next day went by fast, and Jonathan was back over for the final time.

"This is actually a great idea." He smiled examining my brain piece of artwork.

"It was out of impulse." I told him.

"Follow impulses more often, because I sure wouldn't have thought of it."

We worked on the rest of the brain filling each sections with pipe cleaners to represent nerves and connections and glued the wedges to pieces of the brain to allow it to move.

It took only two hours to finish and then we both sat back and looked at our now complete project.

The weight was certainly off our shoulders now.

"Finally." I said, placing my hands behind my head and leaning back against the side of my bed. "We're done!"

"This had to be the longest project I have ever encountered. If I had worked alone, it would have taken longer. The model would have never worked for me." He smiled, looking at it once more.

I sighed slightly tired.

"I actually have to get home early tonight." Jonathan said. "My grandmother wasn't too happy with me yesterday as I got home at 10:30, when I suppose to get home at 10:20. So she wants me home in-" He looked at his watch, "twenty minutes actually, so I should get going."

"Oh I'm sorry, it's my fault you were late yesterday."

"It's no one's fault. I am not blaming you or I." He shrugged. "But I must go, anyways it was a pleasure working on this project with you. See you tomorrow." He lead himself out taking his keys out of his pocket and rushing out, not wanting to be late.

"Bye!" I called after him, feeling bad since he probably was going to be late again.

I realized that, that may be in very fact the last time I hung out with Jonathan outside of school. Our business was done, there was no need to hang out anymore. I'd miss our talks, really. That's all. I could live without his rudeness, awkwardness, and ability to make me feel low. But our talks really made me feel important sometimes and as if I was talking to someone just like me.

I figured I'd get over it within a few weeks. But it would be weird at first. Nearly everyday after school we hung out and did our work. The routine would be broken and life would return to normal.

Maybe I didn't want normal anymore?

I wasn't sure.

The next day Jonathan was not at school, I figured he was sick or something. It was odd to have the seat beside me empty and no one to relate to when the teacher said something about science that wasn't accurate.

Tuesday though Jonathan was in school, and I saw why he wasn't the previous day.

He had a huge bruise on his face, by his eye.

It was deep purple and yellow on the sides.

It all made sense to me.

He had been late returning home and his grandmother hit him. As for why he wasn't in school, either there are more bruises than that or she made him stay home and lectured him with religious bullshit, like he told me she does frequently.

He tried to hide his bruise with his hair, but I caught glimpses of it here and there.

I turned towards him and though it was against my gut feeling I said, "I'm sorry."

He wasn't one to accept pity, I knew this but I had to say it. I felt partially responsible for him being late home those two days.

"I am not putting any blame on you or I." He repeated himself from the other night, knowing instantly what I was talking about when I spoke to him.

"But I feel like it's partially-"

He stopped me. "Don't. There is no need to talk about this anymore."

I felt as if anything I said to him always ended up being wrong and didn't please him.

Here I was trying to be a friend, I dare say the word, a friend to him and comfort him and it's all wrong.

Communicating with him is like reading a book in the pitch dark. It's impossible.

* * *

Next chapter is the last one in the teenager years. I'll try to get it out sooner than a month.


	4. His First Victim

So I just watched Inception...I think?

I was planning out some chapters in the far distant future and well, I'm bumping this to M on the rating scale. Don't ask. It is for your own best interest at heart. Honest.

Thank you reviewers!

* * *

"About a week passed by. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary really, my life slightly returning to normal. Jonathan and I only communicated in class together, and I never brought up his black eye to him once, though I heard other making fun of him and the mark on his face. They of course, did not know it was from his own family member, but assumed some other kid in their grade punched him. I had to literally push my lips together tightly to restrain myself for saying anything to anyone who made fun of Jonathan. It was very conflicting, but I knew he wouldn't want the help. He most likely already felt weak as it was.

As for Cody, I had minimal interaction with him. He noticed my change in attitude with him of course, but I assumed he didn't remember why I was angered with him. I didn't care, and I ended up getting over him more quickly than I thought I would. Sure, when I saw him I could not deny his attractiveness, but I kept telling myself how much of a pig he was and all feelings seemed to wash away. Sometimes I'd think back to the speech Jonathan gave me about love and high school teenagers, and that would make it easier.

Again I would think about how much I'd miss our little, heart to heart sessions, or whatever one could classify them as. Talks, without judgment? Talks with a person who understood things, that even you yourself did not?"

Suddenly the door to the room opened, and Dr. Cinder poked her head in.

"Dr. Crawford, I've come to collect the patient, the hour is up." She smiled at Alexis, and then started to move her body slowly more into the room.

"The hour up already?" Alexis asked. "But, Dr. Cinder, I really must insist at least a half hour more. You don't understand I have made wonderful progress. Phil is starting to say words and sentences again. I believe I am in the middle of something that could help him in further sessions. Can I request just a tiny half hour longer?"

"Well, I'll just let the security guards know, I am sure they will understand Dr. Crawford." She smiled, and gave a wave to Phil who had just registered that someone else was in the room with them. A puddle of mucus run from his nose, and he sniffled it back up with a loud snorting noise.

Dr. Cinder gave a slight look of disgust, but did her best to hide it. "It really is a shame. Phil was such a wonderful doctor here, until..." She cut her sentence off, trying to compose herself. "I'll be back in a half hour."

Alexis turned back to gaze at Phil. He seemed between a mix of boredom and discomfort.

"I'm sorry if I am boring you Phil, I really am, but I need someone to tell my story to. I need to say all this out loud to at least figure out where I went wrong or where I should have discovered that-...and why I still want to-..." Her words were cut off as she went into a deep thought, distracted by it almost looking horrified. "Oh never mind. I won't get that far anyways with telling you everything. I'm still talking about when we were in High school together. I'll at least try to make it through college and then we can just have another session next week."

Phil began to fall asleep at this point.

"So anyways, that week was rather boring and we had kept the project at my house for safe keeping. With all my now free time away from working with Jonathan, I spent more hours practicing my dance or hanging out with Sarah. I was starting to even become less attached to Amy. Everything seemed to be changing in my life all at once.

Finally the day before our project was due came around, and I was seated outside of school on a bench waiting for my mother to pick me up as it was one of her days she got out of work early. I sat with a book open on my lap and found the words increasingly difficult to read from a distance. I hoped I didn't need glasses in the near future.

"Lex?" I heard the familiar voice say to me, breaking me from my thoughts.

I looked to my left to see Jonathan standing by the bench, a couple books in his hands.

"Hey Jonathan." I smiled at him, closing the book and placing it to my side. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to ask you, if everything was all set for tomorrow. Everything is in order and nothing became broken in the week it was left alone, right?" I could see he was a bit worried.

"Yes, everything is fine. I didn't touch it at all." I gave him two fingers in the air. "Scout's honor."

"Just how do you intend to bring it to school tomorrow? I don't want anything breaking." He still looked worried.

"The bus-...Oh." I saw the error. A bus ride. A crowded one at that with a large poster board with things only clinging to it by glue and a large clay brain were easy targets to be attacked by the vicious hands of teenagers or the pot hole lined streets that caused our bus to nearly tip over.

"Yeah, I was thinking about that at lunch today, and I had the very sad picture in my head of you showing up to class with a ruined project due to the bus ride." He frowned at the thought of all our hard work going right down the drain.

"I didn't actually think of that, good point you brought it up. What should we do?" I asked him, knowing he'd find a solution.

"Well, I could bring the project in. I have a car of my own so I can easily secure its well being." He said, quickly reaching in his pocket for his car keys as if to prove he wasn't joking or something.

"Well that's a good idea when do you wanna get the project?" I asked him, trying to think if he would come early in the morning for it or later tonight.

"Well, I could grab it in the morning before school and we could bring it to the science room for safe keeping as soon as we get there." He said, circling his keyring around his fingers idly.

It dawned on me, that he would be giving me a ride to school if we were to stick to this plan. That would prove to be a bit awkward and out of place, but it seemed reasonable for our project's sake. Since he was going to be at my house to get the project anyways, me taking up the spot of passenger seat didn't seem out of place after all, if I thought about it. Unless of course I had to sit in the trunk or something, because his cherished books were shot gun, and our project took up the back seats. Then I'd just take the bus.

"I mean if that doesn't work, you could get it now." I offered him.

"No I can't tonight, I am very busy and not allowed out of the house for a couple months, so that is out of the question."

I didn't ask him why or anything to do with his previous statement.

"Okay no problem, then I'll see you tomorrow bright and early." I gave him a thumbs up.

He nodded his head and walked in the opposite direction towards the school parking lot to get into his car.

It was going to be an odd morning, and the day that our week of hard work lead up too. I knew we would get nothing less than a perfect score, possibly even boring our teacher to death with our in depth analysis on each of the brain's functions and parts. He'd skim through our paper, just seeing our names together would cause the click in his head to give us the grade. I say that was a fine example of Jonathan's hate for teachers.

That night after my dance practice, I sat in my chair in my room and eyed our project once more making sure everything was in place. I read through our essay once more, and my mind began to wander off the words and into space when I started reading the part Jonathan wrote about emotions. Everything was so interesting, and yet dangerous. Messing with people's emotions or to create lack there of an emotion seemed unethical. But the good it could cause the world seemed to be a brilliant outcome. I wondered if anyone had thought of this before.

Morning came and after my daily routine to get ready was almost complete, I was ready to go. I rushed through straightening and damaging away my hair with the pressured heat, out of fear he would arrive before I was ready. I shoved a few snacks into my bag not intent on eating breakfast at home. I carried my project one at a time down the stairs and by a table by the front door. I peeked my head out the window occasionally checking for his car.

When my patience wore thin, I went to the kitchen and leaned on the table, taking out my phone and idly texting whoever I felt like at the time.

The chime of our doorbell rang and I scooted back to where I came from and answered the door. Jonathan gave a small half smile to acknowledge me and he entered my house, wearing his usual choice of dark and baggy clothing.

"Here you grab the poster, and I'll take the brain model and essay." He picked up the model brain carefully and placed the essay in his other hand. I picked up the poster and we went outside to his car, where his trunk was already open waiting for our belongings to fit inside.

He carefully set down the brain on cardboard pieces he put into the bottom of the trunk and placed various objects around it to keep it steady. He took the poster from my grasp and placed it inside as well. I went to the passenger door at this point, feeling as if there was nothing else for me to do and I climbed into his car. I buckled my seat belt and waited for him to enter the car as well.

Once he was in himself, he adjusted his glasses and pushed some of his hair behind his ears. He backed out of the driveway and we were off down the busy morning streets of Gotham.

"So, I'm very excited to present our project today. Let's go first so everyone realizes they can not top us." I joked to him, trying to create sound in the odd silence between us.

"No one else stands a chance, I was already aware." He snickered. "I overheard someone else talking about how their essay was only a page long and three paragraphs. I thought I was going to burst out laughing when I heard that."

"Wow, add ten to that and they'd have our amount. I'm sure two of the paragraphs in their essay are the opener and concluding, and they don't really count." I tired to picture someone with the serious intent of only turning in a page worth of writing.

"Well, at least that means their presentation is going to be short. I do not want to sit and listen to everyone try to explain to me things I already know and at that, things they will be saying wrong and pronouncing wrong." He readjusted his glasses once more, looking in his rear view mirror.

The car ride I realized wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. It was just like normal talking in my room, only he was in control of a motor vehicle capable of killing us at sudden high impact. I didn't mind the ride, I only felt bad because I believed my house was the opposite direction of his and the school so it most likely took him a long and unnecessary drive to reach my house.

"Do you want money for gas? I realize you probably have had to travel a distance back and forth to my house for the past few weeks." I offered him.

"It's not needed. I don't mind getting out of the house, I rarely do, so I did not even have to fill up my tank once." He nodded.

By the time we reached the school, we were a bit later than I would normally arrive. He parked and we both went to the truck to retrieve our belongings. Out of the corner of my eye while I stood waiting for him to hand me our poster I caught a glimpse of Amy, Cody, and Jackson getting out of the car just diagonal to us and Jackson had this look on his face that I could just tell he was wanting to start something.

Before I could even think more about it I heard, "HEY! Alexis? Carpooling with that nerd now? What is he your boyfriend? You'd take him over this good looking man right here?" Jackson pointed himself up and down and shook his body back and forth in an inappropriate manner.

"Shut it Jackson, you look foolish sometimes you know that?" I tried to sound joking and happy, to avoid him making more comments towards Jonathan and to avoid him getting angered.

"Not as foolish as that geek you're standing next to. Ever think about a haircut buddy?" Jackson yelled to him.

"Ever think about reading a book, half wit?" Jonathan said just loud enough for Jackson to hear.

"What was that?" Jackson asked, the defensiveness in his tone rose.

"I said, have you ever considered reading a book, or are you too content with your future job in the fast food industry?" Jonathan smiled, and the look it had was almost menacing. It scared me slightly. From far away it would look as if he was merely smiling, but close up it was almost as if his eyes were trying to trap Jackson in a gaze of utter hate.

What scared me next was Jackson coming towards us with his face in a sneer and his fists clenched. It was as if I could see the steam rising out of his head and his face turning a bright pink color as his anger grew.

"Say it to my face, nerd. I dare ya." Jackson said, all the playfulness in his tone gone.

I decided now would be the best time to intervene.

"Okay, whoa. Both of you need to calm down." I put myself in between them, not wanting fists to start flying. I kept my back to Jonathan as I got very close to Jackson. I was close enough to feel his heavy breaths on my face, and for a brief moment my mind flashed to Cody. "Jackson, we were just carrying in our project nothing more. How about you go inside and go-...I don't know." I dropped my tone, keeping it out of Jonathan's earshot. "But please. Can you leave him alone? I don't want this to break out into a fight. Just think how much trouble you'll get in. You don't wanna have that on your record do you? All for one little nerd?" I tried to make it seem to him that I was agreeing with him. I felt bad for calling Jonathan a nerd, but he could not hear me so it wasn't too much of a guilt. I was just trying to convince him to not get physical.

"I guess your right. But hey-" Jackson got a little closer to me, which was making me a bit uncomfortable. "If he gives you any trouble, come talk to me. I can fix him up for you." He smiled at me, and I saw a slight lust in his eyes. I couldn't tell if it was for me or the idea of smashing Jonathan's head against a locker.

I saw him slightly look down to look at my cleavage.

Nope.

It was for me.

I mentally cringed.

Jackson taking fancy to me now? This was not what I needed. HE was not what I needed.

Jonathan must have noticed, because he cleared his throat rather loudly. "We have to get this stuff inside," He reminded me.

"I'll see you later then?" I half asked, half told Jackson.

He winked at me, and returned to the car he came from. I turned to Jonathan and took the poster from his hands. Things felt awkward again.

"I'm sorry about him." I told him as he retrieved the brain and essay from the back.

He seemed disinterested in that, "It doesn't really bother me, I'm done letting them say what they want to me. Let them hit me, go ahead. What good will it do them? They'll never amount to anything anyways. If I were you though-" He closed his trunk and we started indoors, "I'd watch out for him. He seems to be interested in your...form."

"My form?" I repeated, unable to believe out of all word choices, he chose that.

"When you walked back to me, I looked over at him and he was eyeing you in places you'd prefer him not to." He responded.

"He's so gross. I feel like when he hugs me, that I'm going to catch a sex related disease. It be easier to list the people he hasn't been with at this school." I shuddered.

He merely chuckled, agreeing with me.

* * *

A few periods into the day, and it was finally time to present out project. Jonathan was already in the classroom before I and he seemed anxious to present.

The teacher called at random of course, so a few people presented theirs, before ours. Most projects seemed half assed and as if they were done the night before. Only one was, slightly done well, but the 3D model, lacked effort as well as the poster.

Finally it was our turn and we both stood up and set up our materials in front of the class. We decided to split the essay in half and take turns reading. He went first, his voice seemed fine tuned to the information as he read. Every word that flowed off his tongue and out to the world was soothing and seemed like a musical note. Everything he said, made him seem smarter and smarter and yet no one cared.

While he spoke, all I did was look out at other people while I paid attention to his voice. Half the people were falling asleep and the other half even talking and whispering to one another, undoubtedly making fun of him.

I heard him pause, and then I looked to see his hand outstretched with the piece of paper. I took it from his grasp and he held his hands behind his back while he stood and watched me, waiting for me to begin.

I picked up where he had left off, not speaking nearly as well as him. I stumbled here and there, and I ended up losing my place a few times and had to backtrack. By the time I had finished he could have read the entire thing faster.

But I did notice, every so often as I was able to look up that Jonathan did not take his eye off of me. Unlike I, who watching people or stared at a spot on the back wall, he kept his eyes locked onto my face. His piercing blue eyes hidden by the glasses, were staring right through me, pinning me to my spot and beckoning me to speak more. It creeped me out a little and yet it motivated me to keep trying to read the essay better throughout my reading.

It was just odd, though.

I did _not_ like to be stared at.

Once I finished reading, I looked up to see those blue eyes still staring at me. Only after a brief second of me returning the blank gaze did he begin explaining our poster and our brain model. It only took him another five minutes to wrap up. A few kids clapped, but more for the fact that we were finally over. Our teacher of course was very impressed by our in depth research and even asked for a copy of our essay to show the science board. Jonathan surprisingly declined though. He told me later that day it was because his ideas for his future were in it and if some wise guy got a hold of them, then they might as well make it themselves. He was very protective of his work, I understood that from that moment on.

The teacher told us we had the last five minutes of class to ourselves, and we all sat back and relaxed. I sipped some water from my bottle to ease my thirst and dry mouth from speaking so much.

"Do you want some?" I offered Jonathan.

"Germs." He responded, eyeing the top of the bottle where my lips had been placed.

"I'm not infectious."

"You _did_ said you've been hugged by Jackson before."

"So-?" Starting to realize where he was going with that.

"It's just as you said, you probably have a disease." He snickered.

"Hmpt...Well whatever, but I must say good job partner. We did good." I smiled at him.

He slightly returned it, but not that much. I swear he never gave an honest smile. Every smile seemed to hold that sarcastic demeanor that clawed at your insides and made you uncomfortable.

"We did do good. It was a pleasure working with you...for the most part." He added in at the end.

"Gee thanks." I sarcastically returned the tone.

"No, you did good. You have many ideas that I wouldn't expect to come from someone like you."

"Someone like me?" I asked.

"The way you hold yourself to the public eye, does not give the impression of how much of a capable and mind savvy smarts you have locked up in your brain."

"I don't show it off." I smirked, staring him down seeing if he'd get the hint.

"You should. It's how I get noticed by colleges."

"Yeah, but you don't have to worry about that for another year."

"False."

"False?"

"Yes. Did I never tell you? I'm graduating early. This is technically my senior year." He said with an abundance of pride.

"No, you never told me. You never tell me anything. What did you double up on classes this year?" I asked.

"I have since my start freshmen year. I am just awaiting acceptance letters, but yes this is my last year here. I can not wait to leave this brain cell losing of an establishment."

"Wow." I said at a loss for words. "I'm happy for you."

It was a bit of a shock, and yet not that surprising. If anyone was to graduate early it would be him. It would be good for him to get out of Gotham as well. The people of Gotham were not accepting and not particularly nice to people it accepted anyways.

"Thank you." He said. "I've already won a few scholarships as well, so financially I am all set."

"Okay, okay. Don't have to rub it in." I scrunched my nose up.

He stiffed a laugh. "I'm not, I am merely stating, as you were the one to peg for answers to questions."

"Well you were never to give details of your life away before, I didn't expect you to say anything more without it being something your gloating about." I put a bit of a laugh in my tone to show him I was just joking around.

"Personal life information is pointless most of the time. What does it really cause another person to gain out of knowing something about your life and even at that, stuff that happened in your past?"

"I don't know...it allows a person to know everything about another being."

"And for what purpose?"

"Well, to gain trust and a friendship, or to be able to understand past events so they can relate it to present day events?" I sought for the proper wording.

"Both pointless unless a psychologist is asking the questions."

The bell then rang and we said our quick goodbyes.

Later that day I found out Jackson and a few others slashed all of Jonathan's tires, because of the incident earlier. Jackson did take my advice, no one would be able to tell he committed the crime. He would be record free.

I felt bad, picturing Jonathan returning to his car eager to leave the dump of a school only too see his tires slashed and unable to escape. I bet Jackson was near the car laughing in clear view, to show off subtly his crime.

The rest of the school year consisted of Jackson flirting with me to no ends, Amy and I getting in a huge friendship ending fight, Cody and Amy dating, Sarah and I getting very close, passing all my classes and getting the lead in a couple of our dance routines.

It also consisted of Jonathan and I talking more in our science class together. True, we never hung out outside of class whether it be because he didn't want too, he was afraid to ask me, or he saw no reason too, we just never hung out.

It didn't bug me though. I was content with our daily talk in science. The end of the year meant less work and that caused us to get in various discussions about emotions and even dreams. Sometimes I'd tell him dreams I had and he'd be able to tell me what his view of what it meant. He'd sometimes, rarely, tell me his dreams. I felt whenever he told me them though, they were watered down versions of them. I am sure he had dark dreams, but he tried to make light out of them.

The end of the year rolled around and it was the last day of our science class.

I felt sort of sad thinking I'd never see Jonathan again. I had a whole another year of high school fights, love, and classes, but he was already out and about to college. It was all surreal.

Earlier in the year he was accepted to Yale, and decided to go there.

"Well, I hope you enjoy Yale." I said towards the end of class.

"I hope you enjoy Gotham." He said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Oh I will. Waking up every morning and seeing a drug deal going on. Ahh-...It's the life for me." I smirked.

"At any rate-" He glanced at the clock seeing we had only a minute left. "-talking to you this year has been-...an experience."

"More like a roller coaster..." I mumbled, referring to his moods, my moods, and our disagreements.

"Enjoy life, while it's still worth living." He said, as the bell rang.

I didn't fully understand his comment, but I knew it wasn't sitting right at the bottom of my stomach. When was life not worth living?

His eyes left mine as he exited the room, and I very well thought that was going to be the last time I saw Jonathan Crane.

I'd expect nothing less though. No sappy goodbye, not even a long goodbye at that one. There was no purpose to. A hug even would have seemed too personal. I was fine with how it ended that day, but I could not push away that I would indeed miss him, and even our bickering. I had guessed I'd just have to bicker more with my brother to make up for it.

* * *

Summer was nothing less than looking for a new job, failing at looking for one, relaxing, swimming, beach trips, and finally getting a new job.

About a few weeks into summer I had gotten a job at a small gas station store, it wasn't that I didn't want to work at my mother's flower shop anymore, it was just the lack of hours meant lack of money. My mother was not very thrilled I was working there as those types of shops were the type that were robbed often. My father naturally wanted to give me a gun. I deferred their fears by stating the security there was top notch. My father still would talk to me about owning a gun everyday.

The third week in summer I tried getting a hold of my friends, whichever ones I kept close, but many were on family vacations that week. I was growing bored on my days off, so I decided to take a trip to the library.

It had been a while since I had free time enough to go there, so a nice pile of books would do the trick to entertain me.

I roamed the hallways of books looking for ones of interest and ones I hadn't read already. I started grabbing a few here and there and went over towards the tables and chairs meant for reading or using a laptop at.

Hidden behind a large book, only able to see the tops of his glasses and shaggy hair was none other than Jonathan. I felt a twinge of shock course through me. I had to look at him a few more times to confirm it was him. I went down a hallway of books and peeked out as best I could so I wouldn't be seen. I'm not sure why I was suddenly feeling awkward.

I didn't know what I should do. Go up to him, sit down, and say hi? Walk by him and see if he notices? Ignore him? I was never really good at those awkward times you see someone in public you know, but don't know how to respond to it. If we were closer friends it would have been easy.

And to top it all off, I wasn't sure that the entire time we talked if he honestly liked me as a friend.

I decided to muster up any ounce of confidence I had and go over to him.

I walked to to opposite side of the table he was at, and placed a book down on the table. "Jonathan Crane?"

He looked up from his book, and lowered it to the table upon recognition. "Lex, what a surprise to see you here."

"I thought you would have gone away to the hometown of your college by now." I smiled.

"No, no. I'm going there in the last week of summer." He readjusted his glasses that had fallen downward when he was reading.

I stood there awkwardly, trying to think of something to say, but an 'oh' was all that I could manage to come out.

He must of sensed this and pointed to the chair across from him. "Sit, what books do you have there?"

I sat down, still feeling odd. I spread my books out and listed the titles to him. "Genders and Emotions, Natural Environments, Human Instinct, and-.." I flipped the last book over. "Nothing important."

"Show me the last book." He looked amused, trying to crane over the table more to catch a glimpse at the back of the book.

I swiftly placed my hand over it to block him, "It doesn't fit with the other ones though."

Before I could say more my hand suddenly was pressing down on the table, as he had reached across the table and took the book out from underneath my hand.

He blinked a few times registering the title and picture on the book. His face broke out into a look of amusement.

"Burning Passion?" He snickered. "Romance novels, Lex?"

I snatched the book from his hand, making slight contact with his skin which again was surprisingly warm. The two times I had ever touched his hand, it had been warmer than his cold disposition.

"Your girlish side is showing." He said, as if it was something suppose to be hidden. "There's nothing wrong with reading those, unless you honestly believe them. If you believe that love and romance all have happy endings and love is perfect, then I'd say put the book down and walk away from it slowly."

"Oh, of course I don't believe the books. It just...yanno, gives a small hope that love out there is actually real."

He gave me a deadpan look. "You've already been affected by the books. You're a lost cause now."

I returned the stare, trying to seem serious. "Oh no, does that mean I'm incurable?"

"Yes, unless you burn all the romance books in the library. That will cut your addiction to it."

We both laughed slightly, I of course more than him.

"No but seriously," I said, "I don't believe these books as if it's my life following. To quote Shakespeare 'The course of true love never did run smooth.'"

"Midnight's Summer Dream, very good quote, but horrible book. Personally I never cared for Shakespeare. I think he's a conspiracy. He was not just one man. It was a group of writers."

"You don't like him? How could you not! He's brilliant and that idea of him being more than one person is false! There is strong evidence to suggest he and he alone was the only writer."

"The evidence is not strong. I spent my days reading Freud and Maxwell, reading about false things is a waste of time." He pointed to my romance book again.

"And were back to this book again." I joked, trying to put a seriously offended look on my face. "If this book is making you that uncomfortable, I can go put it back."

"But then it is still out in the open for the public eye. If you really want to please me...burn it." He folded his hands on the table and looked at me in a way I couldn't tell if he really wanted me to get up and lit the book on fire.

"The firm alarm would go off."

"If you explained the situation to the firemen, I'm sure they'd understand." He said calmly.

I stood up and walked over to the cart where you put books if you do not want them anymore. When I returned to my seat he had a sad look on his face. "I really thought you were going to burn it for a moment."

"Fire is not my style." I smiled. "Besides, I do not want to have to pay the $8.99 for a replacement copy. What books do you have on you?"

He showed me the titles, much more complex looking books than I had. One wasn't even in English.

"You know different languages?" I said opening the book to reveal it was in French.

"I'm not an expert, but I'm learning. There are words every so often on each page I have to look up. I want to know different languages so that I can read actual copies of thesis's and not the watered down English version of them. Our government gets rid of things during the translation process that has to do with government conspiracy and corruption. That is a known fact."

"I didn't know this known fact."

"Well now you do." He stated.

"That's messed up and insulting to the scientists who write down what they know."

"Exactly, so I want to learn other languages so I can read actual copies of these things." He smiled slightly, looking proud of himself once more.

We then began to compare our books, and even swapped them and silently read across from each other for a few hours. We'd talk about what we read, and every so often he'd make fun of the romance novel again, as he had a perfect view of it on the cart I placed it on. It felt like we were in our own study group or little school almost. He taught me new things and gave his insight on things, and I did the same to him. True, he taught me more than I taught him, but never the less it was a learning experience for both of us.

And it happened just about once a week. I'd go to the library and almost every time I would, he'd be there in the same spot.

Only once or twice he wasn't there, but I stayed and read myself. I didn't mind, but I missed having his thoughts on things I read, or having someone there to explain something I did not understand.

I asked him how often he went and he told me about once every day. It was his only escape from home I figured. The days he wasn't there, I really didn't tease him or ask him why he wasn't. The bruises on him were answer enough for me.

True I only went once a week, and sometimes I'd question if he even wanted me sitting with him and talking, but he seemed very interested in what I did and didn't know. He seemed to take pride in the fact he knew more than me still. If I had a question, he'd have this aura of pride and cockiness as he'd explain something to me. He loved that he knew mainly everything about everything.

Whenever we'd get on the topic of personal life though, it was always towards me and never towards him. He'd only give bits and pieces of his life.

He seemed to have this looks of analyzing me whenever something personal would come up. It was as if he was trying to be like a therapist or something. It creeped me out a little, but his stare could always get me to open my mouth. It was almost like a trance, and I felt as if I could trust him too. I couldn't explain it even if I wrote down my thought process entirely.

"Do you feel like you disappointed your father, with your choice of education when you go to college?" He asked me once, after I brought up how my father wanted me to become a cop just like him.

"No, at least I hope not. My mother and father have been very supportive of my choice to become a psychologist."

"Do you know which field yet?"

"I'm not sure, I was debating between child or criminal."

"Those are on the complete opposite side of the spectrum." He looked at me with that interested trancing look once more.

"Yes I know. I just-...I'm not sure those are just the two I am interested in, I just have to figure out which one has more jobs available."

"Criminal. I would know. It may very well be the field I am going into."

"Why criminal?"

"Not many want to take a dive into the murderous and psychotic minds. Many need psychologists of their own after exploring the mind of those who are not all there. It is a field you need to be strong in, because not many survive."

"I'm sure you could."

"I can't say the same to you."

I sighed feeling judged all the sudden. I could handle it, I was sure of it. That feeling of wanting to be better than him or shove duct tape all over his mouth so he'd stop talking, came back to me.

"I disagree. I can handle it. Criminals don't scare me." I tried to sound convincing.

"Because they are locked up in a secure environment. If bars and chains didn't separate you, you would not be able to handle it." He looked back down at his book, as if he was not interested in the subject anymore.

I kept it going though, "When would that happen? When would I honestly not be in a secure environment with an insane criminal?"

"What if they escape?" He looked at me quizzically.

"Then...I don't know." I shrugged, not sure where he was getting at.

"You must always be prepared if you go into that field."

"Note taken." And with that we continued reading away our summer.

When summer was finally coming to a close and I knew once again my 'study group sessions' with Jonathan would be coming to a end. This time for real.

I went to the library the second to last week of summer, knowing it would be his last. He didn't act any different that day though. I walked over to him with another pile of books. By this point, both of us were almost finished with all the books that piqued our interest in the entire library.

I was reading a book about people who believed themselves to have the ability to tell the future. It was very convincing but I still thought it was all a big hoax. People made millions of dollars reading people's futures. Most of them told them generic things that could happen or have more than one meaning to it. Still, they put up a very good mask, so I had to congratulate them for that.

Jonathan was reading about some criminal from Texas, who single handedly took down an entire city in the early 1900's by brain washing a group of teens into thinking the end of the world was coming.

Five o'clock was rolling around. The time that the library closed in summer. I had that same feeling I did the last day of science class, but it was greater this time, because I was almost positive at this point-...I could consider him a friend.

A friend.

It was odd.

Never in a million years, would I think to consider him that.

But it was an odd friendship, that could not be denied.

But that friendship was coming to an end.

"Well we better get going," I said looking up at the clock on the wall.

We returned our books to the cart and walked out to the parking lot together. I had received my license by now, and had a habit of parking next to his car.

"So I suppose this is the last time we will be meeting here." He said, surprisingly the one to break the ice as we walked towards our cars.

"Yes, your going to Yale in a few days aren't you?"

"Indeed. Finally getting away from this rut." He smiled, and it was a shock to me. His smile seemed sincere for once. It had no sarcasm in it. It had no double meaning. It was merely a set of lips curved in an upward manner to express the feeling of content.

"One more year and I'll be following in your footsteps." I thought about my one more year in high school and cringed.

"Well I wish you good luck in whatever you chose to study in."

I think he attempted to sound sincere.

"You as well, even though well-...you already know what you are studying. I mean- ugh...Good luck." I stumbled to find words, because the look he was giving me intimidated me. He had that analyzing look on again.

"Thank you. Well, enjoy your last week of summer."

This goodbye was turning awkward. I didn't know what to say or what to do. All I wanted was for him not to leave for such a far away place. I suddenly felt bad again, thinking about whatever he went through with his life. He was such a brilliant person, and was tainted by the abuse and teasing. It had affected him obviously, though he didn't show it that much to me anymore. But even just the way he acted in everyday life, just saying goodbye, was a big example of how everything in his life affected him. He was not the person he was meant to be when he was born.

I felt anger.

"I'll try to. And hey, Jonathan I just want to say thank you for-.."

"There is no need to thank you for anything, other than steering you away from romance novels."

I laughed. The whole romance novel thing had been our on going joke of the summer.

I didn't feel awkward anymore.

"Goodbye Jonathan." I smiled.

"Bye Lex."

We got into our cars and that was the last I saw of him.

Until of course I started working _here_.

My last year of high school, was a drag. I ended up getting glasses half way through the year even though I protested. I decided to get black rimmed slightly curved ones. I liked them a lot, but still I despised the fact I needed glasses to read now. I didn't wear them when I didn't need too, but found myself anyways since it was always such a bother to put them away, or in fact I forgot I was wearing them.

College was a big life changing experience for me. I chose to study criminal psychology. For the same reason I was motivated to become better than Jonathan. It was a drive in me to become the greatest.

My professors were all so fascinating to me of course. They knew many things I did not and many things I did thanks to Jonathan. It helped push me to be one of the top in my class.

I also changed my appearance drastically. I decided to stop damaging my hair with all the dye and straightening. I had to get a good six inches of dead hair cut off from what I had done to it. It was now by my shoulders, but I grew it out through my college life.

I decided to let my natural hair return and I used color remover to have my darker auburn hair out in the open once more. I grew slightly taller as well, finally not one of the shorter people in the school system, but I certainly did not tower over anyone.

I looked like a whole new person and I felt like a whole new person in college.

With college in the next state over from Gotham, I stayed in touch with only Sarah and another girl named Samantha. I saw them occasionally on vacations that I would return home to see family.

During college I had a few intimate affairs. My first was a guy named Drew, who I went out with for a couple of months. Nothing too intimate, but it was an eye opener for what I did and didn't want in a relationship.

I didn't want someone who was dumber than I was.

Unfortunately for me, the only ones who weren't dumber than me were my professors and that crossed so many lines.

The next guy I was with, we never dated but I had high hopes we were going too. He reminded me of Cody, which I should have realized was a red flag, but I was naive. He promised we would date, but said he didn't want to make anything official as he had just gotten out of a relationship a few months before and didn't want to make it seem like I was a rebound girl. Of course I believed him, and ended up losing my innocence to him. Of course, it wasn't anything amazing and it hurt so much I had him stop.

The next few weeks he grew distant from me, and I knew I had been used.

That made me hesitant towards guys and made me make the physical aspects of a relationship low on proprieties. I made a person wait to get intimate with me.

Which was why when I met Cameron, I thought I was in love. Emphasis thought.

He was perfect, other than he had no clue where he was going with his life. He was a sports jock and a bit of a partier, but yet he cared about my feelings.

We dated my last year of college. About a year and a half we were together. We had sex after six months, which I was amazed at that he waited for me. That was why I thought I loved him, because he cared about my feelings. But as the many more months passed I found myself falling out of love.

I questioned if I was even in love, or in love with the illusion of love. I thought at that point I remembered someone telling me about the illusion of love before, I forgot too. Oh Jonathan Crane.

That was the only time in four years of college he popped into my mind.

He had been right. I didn't love him.

I was in love with the thought of it. I thought I loved him, because he treated me so much better than my previous affairs, but even at that he wasn't the best boyfriend. The ignored calls, the drunk demeanor, the lack of education smarts, the lack of manners at points. I came to discover he was not my type.

I broke it off, a few weeks before graduation.

He took it better than I expected.

I was ready to start a new once more.

Ready to take on the world.

Ready to go into the field of study I was always meant too be in.

I researched places to work and found, unfortunately the best place to work was Arkham Asylum.

It was sort of a disappointment location wise.

I did not want to work in a place that I had escaped from for four years. I submitted my resume anyways, just in case. I got many rejection letters back from other places stating that my lack of experience held me from the job. State regulations had recently changed and two people had to be the criminal psychologists, as before most places were content with one person in that particular field.

A place like that has doctors, who care for the patients.

Regular psychologists who meet with patients regularly and talk to them trying to figure out things.

Criminal psychologists, who do the same thing as regular psychologists but also determine if a person is insane and should be admitted to a psyche ward or if they are not and should be admitted to jail.

That was what I was going to be doing.

After weeks of applying everywhere, the one place I was asked for an interview was at Arkham. The interview itself was not at Arkham though, which is why I did not see or know Jonathan was working there at that point.

The interview was at the police department offices, for reasons unknown to me.

They checked my background and took my picture though numerous times, so that is when I figured out why. They were trying to see if I was an honest citizen and if I had any ties to any patients.

Of course I didn't and I felt if the interview went great.

Apperently it did, because within the next few days I got a call saying I had the job.

Dr. Alexis Crawford was the new doctor in town.

Even though I had lived in Gotham half my life.

Well, with that I used the money I had saved up from my part time jobs and got myself an apartment. It was not in the Narrows, thank lord and I found it to be nice considering.

It was on the top floor on East Main Street. It had a kitchen and dining area. True the counters were not the white color that they were suppose to be, and turned slightly yellow for whatever reason. I tried scrubbing at it, but it was in vain. The dining room table was a simple fold up table, but it didn't bug me. My living room was a bit small, but my bathroom and bedroom made up for it. There was a small hallway near the entrance where I had two closest. One filled with food and the other with oddities I had to keep from my old house.

I sat on my couch eagerly at six am, on Monday. I was dressed in a white button up shirt and a black skirt; black heels to complete the look. I had my auburn hair tied up and my glasses on.

I was ready an hour before I had to be at Arkham for my first day.

I was a nervous wreak.

Little did I know how much more nervous I was going to be seeing the grown up, slightly less nice, better looking, a little more creepy, version of Jonathan Crane.

Little did I know I would be helping him with things I would regret...or do I regret? But I didn't realize I was doing anything. Just...research. Just paperwork.

Just me, falling under his-...

Just me, falling into no illusion...

Now he hides in-...

With-...

Assisting-...

I can't even finish my sentences Phil..."

Alexis wiped away the tears starting to form.

"I believe our session is over for today." She pulled herself together, pushing her glasses back on and putting on a straight face.

She looked at her clipboard and scanned through the paperwork.

Dr. Cinder came in as if on cue at this point. She walked over to Alexis.

"How'd it go?" She asked.

Alexis began to read off what she wrote. "Phillip Deering. Patient exhibiting some signs of acknowledgment to questions asked. Starting to form words and sentences. Starting to recover from Scarecrow's toxin slowly, but as the injection was before he formed the formula he used in the Narrows incident, it was a dangerous version dumbing down his mind and creating a new person. Brain cells killed and left side of brain still deformed. Verdict: Incurable."

* * *

Hi :) Review please? It gives me motivation to keep writing faster.

I must tell you, I am so excited for chapters to come. Honestly, excited. That says something.

The next chapter and the rest will be in third person. It will start with when she started working in Arkham and the story will go in order from then on. So technically its flashing back from when she is telling Phil this story. But that makes her telling Phil the story in the future right?

**SO **basically these four chapters have been one big huge prologue! Yay prologues.

Review review review and expect the next chapter in the next few weeks, hopefully sooner :)


	5. A Snake With Blue Eyes

Fanfiction website has not been working the past few days. I've had the chapter ready for days now, tried to update it, and it sent out the alert and then nothing showed up. I am really fustrated with it all.

Well now that the start of this story is done, I can move on to the main part of the story. From here on its in third person and starting off when Alexis starts working at Arkham and sees Dee Crane for the first time in years upon years. Appearances have changed, motives have changed, dun dun dun. I just wanted you to see Alexis through her first person view to get to know the character.

So were back tracking from the time the prologue takes place with Alexis talking to Phil. Phil will be the normal doctor at this point not yet affected by Scarecrow. Oh the chaos to ensue.

* * *

_Seven o'clock._

_Seven o'clock._

The time kept ringing in her mind like a distant buzz trying to grab her attention.

She glanced at the clock once more, seeing she had an hour to go.

"Seven o'clock." She now began to mutter it as she walked to her small bathroom of her apartment and checked herself over in the mirror once more.

_Starting a job in Arkham, it shouldn't be this stressful already. I haven't even started working yet, let alone stepped foot inside Arkham yet. That's when I should be stressed. _She thought to herself.

She fumbled with changing her auburn hair from down, to up in a tight bun. Sometimes she missed her dyed blonde hair she used to have in high school. With lighter colored hair it never looked greasy when down, but her natural auburn hair sometimes would look a bit greasy in the right light when down. With her hair down it went a good length past her shoulders stopping mid-breast. Looking over herself once more, she finally gave up and put it back into a slightly messy bun, a few strands of shorter hair in her front falling down. She pushed them back and groaned at herself in the mirror. Seeing herself stressed added to the feeling of her stress.

_If they hadn't made the interview in the city's police department, and made it so official and thorough. _Her mind wandered from one thought to the next. _I mean, they could have at least let me set foot in Arkham, before my first day. At least let me know where everything is._

Nothing seemed to stop her traveling mind. The only thing that was told to her before she received the job, was that many people either did not want the job due to it's burdens, or quit due to the stress and some other coworker drama, or something like that.

Motivation time.

She kept telling herself she could do the job, and it wasn't going to be as big of a hype as she made it out to be. She had confidence in her knowledge and abilities.

She returned to her living room and switched her cellphone open, feeling its vibrations in her skirt's pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hi dear." Her mother said, excitedly.

"Hey mom." Alexis felt some of her stress fade.

"Today's the big day. Hey your father and I are very proud of you."

Alexis laughed slightly, "Thanks mom, I appreciate it."

"Stop by after work, and tell us all about it!"

"I'll see if I can, I'm not even sure of my hours yet."

"Well if you have time, stop by. We're only ten minutes away."

"That's if there's no traffic." She smiled, finding it nice to always know her family was close by. Though she didn't think she'd spend the rest of her life in Gotham, it was just the way the dice rolled. As long as she had a job and a roof over her head, nothing bothered her.

"I won't keep you. Good luck. You'll do fine."

"Thank Mom, talk to you later."

She clicked her phone shut.

6:15.

Grabbing a glass from her kitchen, she poured herself a glass of orange juice and sipped it while leaning against her counter top. She drummed her fingers against the surface, and stared off into space while taking her drink.

Her drive over was a calming relief. She turned on some classical music and rode the less than average crowded streets of Gotham. The morning traffic would start around seven, and by then she'd be safe in a parking spot and starting her new job as Dr. Alexis Crawford.

_Dr. Alexis Crawford._

She couldn't believe her new title.

Arkham Asylum always had workers in it. There were day workers and night workers, though yes it was less populated at night. At night there would be a few guards here and there and the legal amount of two doctors on staff. Other doctors of course could be called in at any moment. She knew that came with the territory and sometimes she may very well be a night worker.

Anything for a paycheck and her fascination with the mind.

Getting to the Narrows, took fifteen minutes. She found herself hitting almost every stop light of course, which agitated her. Next thing she needed was an accident to occur right in front of her, so she would be late. Never the less she pulled into Arkham and followed the staff parking sign to the side of the building. She walked out of her car, smoothing her skirt down, even though there was no need too. It was reasonably lengthen, going a bit past her knees.

She reached into her small black bag and retrieved her glasses case, and put the black rimmed glasses over her eyes, bringing everything into perfect view.

Adjusting them to lay against her face straight, she walked to the front of the building and through the double glass doors.

The lobby was nicely dressed with large white walls and a window on the ceiling to show the same rays of sunlight, peaking through into the room. It made it seem bigger than it really was. She walked up to the reception desk, where a lady with straight blond hair was busy typing something on the computer. A few hallways connected to the room, but the doors seemed to have controls by them, that only allowed people with access cards to go through. This was confirmed when she watched a few doctors entering behind her go through the door, swiping the card first.

A few tattered chairs and slightly dying plants were in the lobby as well as a small coffee table with discarded magazine dated back to the early 2000s. There was even a small child's toy off to the side, for young children who were waiting to visit their loved one who was cooped up in crazyville.

"Hi, um this is my first day, I was told I had to meet with a Dr. Slater." Alexis sent a smile to the receptionist. The name on the desk read "Judy".

Judy, didn't look up from the computer, scrunching her nose up as she focused on something on the screen. "You're...Dr. Crawford?" She then looked up and eyed Alexis up and down.

"Yes, that's me."

"Okay, well I'll page, Dr. Slater and he'll be with you in about ten minutes I'd say. He's meeting with another doctor at the moment." Judy, smiled though it seemed fake and like a broken record, played on her face everyday she had to interact with another human being.

"Thanks. I'll just sit out here."

_Duh...Where else would I sit? _She thought to herself after she realized how out of place she sounded.

Alexis went and sat in one of the torn up chairs, finding it to be just as uncomfortable as it looked. She squirmed her back a bit trying to get comfortable, and switched back and forth from crossing her legs to sitting up straight. She did not even want to start thinking about who had sit here before her. She tried to find a comfortable position, and then leaned a bit forward, resting her hand on her leg.

"Just curious...What position are you here now?" Judy, suddenly asked, still looking at her computer as if it was attached to her eyes.

"Uh, criminal and diagnosis doctor?" Alexis responded, still trying to get comfortable.

"Oh..." Judy looked up, a slight amusement in her eyes. Her mouth curved upward a bit. "I'm just going to warn you now, because I feel like you should be prepared." She leaned her body a bit forward in her chair as if she was sharing a huge secret and lowered her voice. "That position has been given out to many people and every one of them have quit or were fired."

"Why?"

"The other doctor with the same position as you, well... let's just say he doesn't like working with others. Ever since the state has regulated we need two of each kind of doctor, he's been throwing a fit. He's taken it out on every doctor given the position. The one that lasted the longest was two months and they were fired because they stopped showing up after too many confrontations and disagreements with their coworker."

Alexis didn't know how to respond at all to the news. "Well...thanks for the warning."

She gave a smug smile and returned her eyes to the computer, typing away loudly so it echoed in the whole room. Her tone had suggested that she didn't warn her for the sincerity of it, but more to scare her.

Alexis, knew though that her personality and passion for the field of which she was in, would not allow someone else to step over her. She was not a doormat.

Boredom hit her after two minutes of staring at the opposite wall. She traveled her eyes up the wall and decided to read the gold plated names of the doctors who worked in Arkham. Above each name hung their degree, as if it was to comfort any family in the waiting room that the people handling their loved ones were not frauds.

Dr. Christine Cinder.

Dr. Matt Slater.

Dr. something she couldn't pronounce Arkham. Bigger name plate than the others.

Dr. Phillip Deering.

Dr. Marcus James.

Dr. Jonathan Crane.

Dr. Nate Sor-

_Dr. Jonathan Crane?_

_It couldn't be!_

She reread the name a dozen times, then focused her eyes on the degree. Barely able to see, she saw the degree was in fact from Yale.

_No, it can't be the same person._

Her stomach fell flat in shock, and her eyes remained locked on the name. She wished pictures of the doctors were hung up as well now. She fidgeted in her seat more, but not from discomfort of the material she rested on.

_Last time I saw Jonathan Crane, was in high school._ She started to remember all her times with her odd friend. _Oh my goodness, if this is him. I-..._

She couldn't think straight. The boy she had known when she was younger, made it into the profession he desired most.

_How much had he changed? _

_Would he remember me? _

_What does he look like?_

_Is he still that cocky yet fascinating, kid I remember?_

Her mind buzzed with questions that she'd have to wait for the answer for. She was tempted to ask Judy, but the slight attitude that was given when she spoke to her, made her rethink it. Her hands found each other as they twisted their fingers together, turned and grabbed at each other in slight anticipation. Her hands continued to do this as her eyes stayed locked on the name she had not thought of in five or six years years.

It was...random for a lack of a better word.

She desperately wanted to see if this was the same person as she knew in her youth. The clock seemed to tick even slower now. In fact, she noticed at that point there was no visible clock around; a trick they must play on those waiting so they don't know how long they actually had waiting to be seen.

_If it was the same Jonathan, at least I could look him straight in the eye and smile at him. I could then say to him, I won our challenge. _She grinned inwardly, picturing the conversation. _Because look at me, I'm here. I'm doing what he said I won't be fit for. If it is the same Jonathan, he could watch me do what he did not expect me to do._

Bragging rights.

"Are you Dr. Crawford?" A man's voice pulled her from her thought. She looked up, alert and focused on a man with graying brown hair and a fatherly look about him.

"Yes." She smiled. "Dr. Slater?"

"That would be me." He held on his hand and she took it in a firm handshake. "It's nice to finally meet you. I've read your letters of recommendation from your school. You worked hands on in a few of the mental wards of the big cities?"

"Yes, my school offered an internship and I thankfully got it. I learned a lot from it."

"Well, I am sure it will show in your days here. Now how about I give you a tour?" He smiled, eyeing her up and down for a moment, but not in a sexual way, more of a reading type of way. Her mind sparked back to Jonathan, as it jogged her memory.

_He used to look at me like that...trying to figure out what I was thinking..._

"Here...this is your access card. Best clip it to a string on your neck. You need this to get clearing into certain rooms. The cards are controlled from our security section. As you work more here, you will gain access to more places of secure measure. Try not to lose it." He winked, and swiped his own card through the right doorway in the lobby.

"This is the patient side of Arkham. The other hallway in the lobby leads to our offices. I'll take you there last." They went down the hallway, and all she could keep thinking was to look out for someone who looked like Jonathan Crane.

_But surely he must look different?_

"This section is our less violent, less threatening patients." He pointed to doorways as they passed. "Over there is the more dangerous. And there is the solitary confinement area. A few labs are over there." He explained a few things about each section as they passed as well, but she was becoming too spacey and too focused on looking at the faces that passed by her to listen. She got the gist of what he said, but she really focused on...

_...blue eyes? No blue eyes. They have brown eyes. Nope. That doesn't look like him either._

"Here is the elevator which leads to more cells, labs and forensic areas. A few rooms scattered about the five floors of here are empty and under construction though. We have a basement but it's also abandoned due to the working environment. A bit moldy and stuffy." He laughed. "Let's head back to the lobby. I'll show you the offices and your office."

They back tracked to the left doorway in the lobby and went down another hallway where doors with name plates of doctors lined the hallways. They passed by a kitchen and staff area, a few bathrooms, a janitor closet and office.

_Jonathan Crane_...She read the name on the door as they too passed by that door. The glass on the door was designed with a bit of a burr to it. She could see someone was in the room, but that was all. Even if she was standing right outside the door with the time to study the room through the glass, all she would be able to see was a blurred figure and blurred furniture.

A few doors down and they came to a blank door. No name plate, no light on. Just a plain wooden door.

"This is your office." He handed her a key, and unlocked the door with his own set of keys.

Inside was a windowless small office. It had a desk and computer in the far side, with a comfortable looking chair along with it. There was a book shelf near there with reference books and some that appeared to be previous room owners. A few filing cabinets, a few empty shelves and side tables. In front of her desk was two arm chairs, for if someone were to be meeting with her. The walls were paneled, made of tan colored wood. It made the crammed room seem even more crammed.

"Here's where you will spend most of your time. Your job is to diagnose patients, write research papers on patients, write court evidence and court reports on patients. Study patients, prescribe medication, even research inventions for new medication. Go to court sometimes and testify your opinion on a person's mental state. You will always be a busy worker, I'm telling you this now."

"I understand and I'm ready for the challenge." She smiled, growing excited at all the things she would be able to do with her work.

"That's what I like to hear. Now, there's someone you have to meet. The other criminal and diagnose doctor here. You and him will have to consult often on cases, so best you meet him now rather than later." They both stepped outside the room, shutting the door behind them.

"And...best to keep your door locked when not using it." He back tracked and locked the door for her. "Just for privacy reasons. I and the janitors are the only ones with keys and I trust those guys. I hand picked them." He tried to reassure her.

"I believe you." She smiled.

They walked back in the direction towards the lobby and stopped abruptly outside the door of Jonathan Crane.

_No way._

_Absolutely no way. He is my coworker? The one Judy says is a pain? That would make sense if it was the Jonathan I knew._

Her anticipation built, staring at that name once more. She looked and saw the figure inside was seated at his desk. She could make out no detail. Her hands felt a bit clammy as she was in a bit of a nervous disposition. Her mind began spitting out questions, and she worried that if it was the Jonathan she knew, that he would not remember her at all or act completely different.

_Why am I this worried, it's nothing!_

"This is your partner. His name is Dr. Crane." He knocked on the door once. "Dr. Crane?"

"Come in." A slightly raspy voice responded calmly.

_Just open the door already... _She already ready to peak around the door, when he was starting to open it.

Dr. Slater opened the door, and Alexis went into what she very well believed to be a state of shock.

_It is him._

They stepped closer into the room, and her eyes were locked in with piercing blue ones staring right back.

Her whole body was in a numb state. No thoughts, and no expression was on her face.

She couldn't tell if the look he was giving her was because of the fact he recognized her or the slightly in shock expression she was giving him.

_He looks so ...different. So...actually...normal looking, but those eyes._

His eyes were what gave him away to her.

They remained behind a pair of glasses, smaller than his old pair and clearer, so his eyes did not look bulging. His hair was shorter, but slightly longer in the back, enough to hide his neck. It swept outwards on its sides, and the part was in the middle of his head, with his bangs going a bit upward before dropping down out of his face, as if he styled it that way to look clean cut and so his hair did not rest flat against his head. His hair was swept almost backwards a bit, and upon looking a little longer, she figured that it was actually a lack of caring hairstyle.

His face was clear and almost porcelain looking. It was not the acne ridden face she remembered that hid behind his long greasy hair. He looked like a whole new person, and yet the young teen she had interacted with years ago.

He was wearing a tan suit, and underneath a sweater with a red and green striped tie barely visible behind it. His hand held no metal of commitment, and upon further investigation of the surrounding room she saw it was very stale looking. No pictures of family or friends, just books upon books and files upon files. His office was slightly bigger than hers, but much more crowded with the amount of paperwork and bins of odds and ends all around his office.

Her eyes wandered back to him, and he was still staring at her, a bit of either a glare or a look of confusion was on his face.

He looked, dare she admit it to herself, rather attractive overall.

That was one thing adding to her state of shock upon seeing him. He looked like an everyday person now, blending in perfectly with society. Before he acted as if his looks didn't matter to him, but suddenly and obviously they did now to some extent.

Sure to everyone he wouldn't be considered the best looking thing in town. No that was reserved for Gotham's high rate bachelors, like Bruce Wayne. His body was still skinny and lanky looking, having no obvious build to it, and he was still on the shorter side from what she could see, as he was seated at the moment. He'd still be a bit taller than her, but she took a guess that she'd be up to about his shoulder or chin.

Compared to what he looked like before, made her slightly blush at how much of a difference it was. She was never one to judge a person by looks, more by personality. She judged manners, tone, and personality overall. She did this with the younger Crane. Judging him, misjudging him. Slightly opening up with him. He slightly opening up to her.

She liked his personality back then on its_ good _days. On its bad days, she detested it.

Her stoic look remained, throughout her looking at him and the surrounding area. She silently cursed in her mind at how ridiculous she must look to him, but she still could not erase her stare on him. It was all so surreal. She looked like a deer in the headlights. Dr. Slater would mistake it for new job jitters, but starting her new job was the last of her nerves.

_He looks like a normal Gotham citizen. A normal doctor._

All but his eyes. They were the most unique and honestly most _beautiful_ thing about him.

Beautiful.

That was the only word to describe his eyes.

Beautiful.

Even when he was younger, his eyes were still beautiful looking to her, though they were hidden half the time by his hair and glasses. Subtracting of course the glares or awkward stares he'd be giving her with his aqua colored eyes. They still had the same affect on her though; being lost in thought, feeling as if she was being analyzed. She could not shake the shiver running down her spine, causing goosebumps to erect across her arms and the back of her neck.

His whole look and presence gave off confidence and arrogance.

"And you _are_?" Dr. Crane asked, keeping his eyes locked to her.

Her stomach fell even more, if that was possible.

Her feet were rooted to the spot, but it felt as if she was going to stumble backwards. She wanted to leave the room at this point.

The look he was giving her was blank, arrogant and slightly frightening, but it was not because he recognized her.

In fact, he did **not** even recognize her.

Another shock to her, and it felt like a kick to the stomach almost.

Then it dawned on her after a few moments, why.

She had changed quite a bit herself.

Her hair color and glasses were the major changes and even her face was that of a twenty four year old, no longer any trace of innocence and youth. Her clothing was different as she was dressed more professionally, rather than bright high school apparel. The last thing running against her was the fact that it was such a random event for her to be in the same place as him, he would not be expecting to see her there.

That or he forgot about her.

She would have to find out which one.

But she did not have any clue how to bring it up. Just as she was going to respond to his question which seemed to be asked hours ago, Dr. Slater answered for her.

"This is the new criminal and diagnosis doctor. Doctor Crawford." He pointed to her. "I figured you two, should get to know one another."

"If she is anything like the past few you sent me, you may as well save her the trouble of getting well acquainted with me." He slightly tilted his head and stared at Dr. Slater, leaving his eyes from Alexis.

She felt the feeling of being trapped to the spot she stood, slightly fade.

It was odd, that his tone never raised up past a slight raspy whisper. He wasn't literally whispering, but compared to the volume of how others talked, he was still more on the quiet side.

His arrogance still was there.

_He hasn't changed at all... _Slightly his attitude disappointed her. He looked normal, but he still had that anti social flair to him.

"I can assure you, she will not be like the others. The letters received about her are outstanding, even you would be impressed."

"Hmmpt.." He responded, not looking amused. He seemed tired of the constant new employees and introductions. She could understand where he was coming from.

But, Judy was right about him. If it had been anyone else she wouldn't have to worry, but Jonathan had such a passion for his work that she strongly believed that he did drive the past employees to quit.

But she would be his challenge. She had dealt with his attitude and ideas before. She knew how to handle him, if he was still the same tempered person and still believed in the ideas he did before. She was ready for him.

As he still did not recognize her, she decided to have a bit of fun with it and not reveal to him who she was right away. She wanted to see if he would on his own.

The deer in the headlights, look faded and replaced with a small smile of attempted friendliness.

"Well, I have to head for a meeting with Dr. Deering, but Dr. Crane, can you get her up to speed with assignments and paperwork?" He half smiled. Even he seemed a bit hesitant towards Jonathan.

"I suppose I can do that." He said, adjusting his glasses.

"Well, I'll see you during my rounds." He left the room, a bit more quickly than he should have.

Alexis stood slightly by the door, staring at Jonathan, who was oblivious to her identity.

"Well, I suppose you can have a seat. We do have a bit to go over." He said, still with his annoyed tone of voice.

"Sure," Alexis managed to smile, gaining the feeling in her stomach. She sort of began to laugh on the inside, amused at the small game of "Guess who" she was about to embark on.

He raised an eyebrow slightly at her new aura of confidence that was slightly showing. He always had been good about reading people.

She had to keep that in mind.

"So, basically I am going to tell you flat out that any major cases I will take care of and the minor work you will. Any decision you have on major cases, since I need to 'consult'," He made quotes in the air, "them with you, but your opinion will be the lesser of the two and any disagreement, I will ultimately have the final say over. Is that clear?" He adjusted his glasses once more, and folded his hands on his desk looking smug as ever.

This was the part where any other employee would hold there tongue and take it.

Alexis, was not 'any other employee'.

Her past experience gave her the confidence to speak.

"Isn't that against the law?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Seniority ruling, is not against the law, Miss-" He glanced down at the paper in front of him, "Crawford, is it? Questioning my judgment, when you have lack of experience is improper."

"Yes, but state laws say we have to consult each other and if a substantial disagreement occurs it is taken to a higher power or outside source." She smiled a smug grin back. "Believe me Jonathan, I have done my research before I came here."

"That's, Dr. Crane to you. First names are also very improper in a work environment. Something the places you learned from that hold you to such high standards obviously have not taught you. Manners Dr. Crawford."

His tone, sparked that rage inside of her. The same one that made her have violent thoughts of hitting him or hitting him with a blunt object. She'd always stop herself, but his tone and just the way he looked at her was enough to get her blood boiling.

She never pegged herself to have a temper until she met him, and saw she could think very violent things when evoked. Of course, she'd never speak them so no harm was actually done; verbally or physically.

"I've learned manners,_ Dr. Crane. _I certainly have more than you. Is this how you act around everyone, or just new members of your staff?" She smiled back at him, trying to look unaffected by his rude demeanor.

"You are in no authority to accuse my personality of any flaw. In fact this entire conversation is most unusual and my suggestion to you, would be to walk right back out the door you came from. You obviously are not at the maturity level to keep up with my sophisticated way of working."

She laughed inwardly at how high and all mighty he was trying to sound. True he did talk like that, but he was overdoing it at the moment trying to intimidate her.

"That's really amusing you would say that." She laughed _outwardly_ at this point.

He looked down at his desk and around the room for a brief moment and then at her as if in disbelief. "I don't really find any of this funny."

"I do. You honestly have not changed one bit Jonathan. Not one bit." She laughed, trying to keep her lips pressed together to hide it.

He looked for the first time, confused. Utterly and beyond comprehension of what was going on.

"What?" He asked, starting to go from the look of confusion to annoyed. "What are you talking about?"

Even in his confused state, his speech did not falter or stumble. He could speak fluently even when not prepared. Part of her worried, that if he honestly did not remember her that the rest of her job life at Arkham would be eternally awkward.

"But don't worry, I've changed a bit. I stay away from the romance novel section of the library." She smiled, pushing back a few of the hairs falling out of her bun.

It took him a moment before his eyes went slightly wider than normal, and his expression went blank. No more trace of annoyed discomfort.

He looked back down at the paperwork and reread her file. There was where he would read her first name "Alexis" and the place she studied at, which she had mentioned in her youth to him wanting to go there. He'd see she attended Gotham High School P.S. 42, and the graduation year.

He'd see it all and everything would match up.

He looked over the paper a few more times and they remained in silence, until the small sound of him letting the file drop on his desk broke the silence.

He looked up at her once more, this time the blank stare replaced with realization and shock.

At this point she lost the humor and her nerves picked up once more. She was not sure how he'd react to the entire situation. Now, she figured he must know who she was, but would he be happy, excited, annoyed, irritated? There was so many different responses.

Instead, the only thing that happened was he removed his glasses, which caused another chill to run up her spine as she had never seen him without his glasses on. His eyes were crystal clear to her and the blue was engulfing her eye sight.

"Lex?" He asked, as if needing spoken confirmation.

It had been too long since she heard him say her name. The way his raspy quiet voice said her name, made her feel uncomfortable yet a slight thrill of hearing her being called something other than the typical Lexi, Alexis, Ally, or whatever other nickname pegged upon her. The fact he still remembered to call her that nickname sent an even greater thrill through her. Not one to be mistaken as a pleasurable thrill, just one of happy meaning. He treated her different, he was a different than others, and he addressed her differently.

Any word he said though, made everything sound better. His voice and words always held that smart and confident tone.

"It's been a long time Jonathan Crane." She smiled more sincerely than she had before.

"I-It has, I... apologize. I did not recognize you with all the-" He lost his sentence. He still sounded a bit out of it and at a point where he did not know what to say. That was a first for her to witness.

"I know. I let my look go natural." She pushed another hand through her hair. "And literally after you left for college I got these," She placed two fingers on her glasses and moved them up and down slightly, "But look at you, you've changed just as much as I have."

"Yes, I uh suppose I have." He must have felt awkward discussing his looks.

His look went from awkward, to as if he suddenly sparked an idea, but then it went back to calm. She didn't pick up on this really, but only slightly noticed it and took it as his confusion and awkward feeling.

"Well, I only recognized you because I saw your name and was prepared, you were unaware of it being me, so I don't blame you. The odds were against you." She laughed.

"This is very...unexpected." He said, his tone relaxing.

"You're telling me...How are you? How's life?" She asked him, trying to make friendly conversation with him.

"Uh...work based mostly. And when I am not at work I spend my free time with research."

"Sounds like you haven't changed in that aspect either."

"Of course not, what would I be using my spare time doing? Going to wild parties and reading romance novels?"

_There it is._

His old humor that she enjoyed the presence of.

"Hey, I don't do either any more. And I never went to wild parties. Only about two." She held up two fingers and laughed slightly.

"You still did when we had that project due." He slightly half grinned, but just as when he was younger it held sarcasm.

"Oh here we go." She laughed, leaning back in her chair. "We got a perfect score on that. I don't want to hear any complaints."

"Yes well, it was due to my previous knowledge of the mind, that is why we passed with such an excellent score."

"I did just as much work as you."

"Well I think my thesis, set the bar." He folded his hands back on his desk.

"Oh yeah," She said, suddenly remembering the theory on emotions he had written about that had fascinated her so much. " I remember that. It really was a great thesis, I'll give you that much credit."

He gave her that look like he was trying to read her. "You remember it?"

He sounded fascinated in this and leaned forward in his chair as if he did not hear her correctly.

"Yeah I do. I thought it was a great idea, but dangerous at the same time." She felt a bit of the uncomfortable feeling happening.

"That's...interesting. Because I am actually using the resources I have here to create a...formula so to speak to get rid of and to enhance emotions."

"Really? That's...great. You're getting to achieve your dreams." Her eyes went wide, with innocent curiosity.

He saw the look in her eyes and slightly smiled for his own reasons, unknown to her.

"Yes...in fact it's almost as if fate has brought us back together." He placed his glasses back over his eyes, and it slightly disappointed her. His eyes clear without glass hiding them, were even more beautiful and piercing than she ever thought possible.

"Why is that?"

"Because you see.." He leaned even more forward as if sharing a secret. "No one here, has the same-...passion for the mind as I do. No one here wants to work when they don't have to. Everyone here does what they do for a paycheck or a personal gain. But if you are still the person I knew you to be in high school, I know you share that same passion as me. Am I wrong?"

"Not at all." She felt herself slightly blushing at a rare compliment he was giving to her. His tone had relaxed even more and was very soothing to her. It was as if he was doing it on purpose. It made her whole body relax in her very seat and made that feeling of attraction towards him slightly increase a bit more.

Now that they were past the awkward stages of reintroductions, she felt very relaxed with him and found herself able to take in the smaller details of his features, like his high cheek bones or the dimples in his cheeks when he half smiled.

He pursed his lips, and continued talking.

"Well, no one around here wants to help, let alone listen to my ideas. Unless money is involved, they are not interested. And besides, all of them are so weak minded, I barely waste my time on them. Which is why, I never am nice to those Dr. Slater tries to partner me up too. But you being my new coworker, has certainly changed everything. So I was thinking, if you are up for it...that you could help me with research. Of course most would end up being on your own time..." He looked her over, keeping his eyes locked on hers. "...We'd have to meet outside of work a few times even, as if anyone were to realize how great of an idea it was, they'd be in it for just the profit of creating it and not the bettering of the world it would create. I don't want anyone stealing any information we have."

"I'd...loved to." She smiled, in a complete state of scientific euphoria at the thought of being able to better the world with a simple drug created by her and her long lost friend.

"Well excellent...thank you. Perhaps we could grab a coffee, not today I am very busy, but tomorrow after work. We could catch up...I could show you what research I have so far." He sent his best smile at her.

"That be great. I'll make sure I am free tomorrow."

"Good, now before I get in trouble for not technically showing you what to do. Here-" He pointed to a box filled with files. "Those are all are patient files that are currently in here. Study them. File them in your office however you deem appropriate and then you can start examining patients you see errors in the behavior or things written by others doctors who have studied them. If you find error, you go request from security a one on one with that patient."

"Thanks..." She grabbed the box and struggled to steady it in her arms. "I'll get on it."

Alexis gave him another smile as she exited his office and returned to hers.

Jonathan Crane, took his glasses off and leaned back in his chair.

His luck was perfect.

He alone, researching took time and with his busy schedule he never had chances too. If he wanted to keep his job, which was vital in gaining the sources and means to complete his task, he had to do his work first before his experiments took his priority and time.

All he had to do was convince Alexis that his research was for getting rid of bad emotions, and enhancing good ones. She did not need to know his intent was to enhance fear.

She did not need to know that while he was in college his mind completely broke more than it already had and his theory that had been so noble, changed and morphed into the very idea to create chaos through fear.

No, she did not need to know any of it.

He honestly, did not mind Alexis though. So working with her on his research wouldn't be a damper on his day.

He thought of her as a smart young woman, who he enjoyed having conversations with as she was not _as_ inferior to him as many others in the world. Their conversations had always amused him, and the fact she did not portray herself to be as smart as as she really was, fascinated him. She was never one to brag, like him. That would of course be her flaw in life.

She could never however be considered to him, his equal, but he held her higher than most. Freud, and Maxwell, and Marx. All those scientists though were still held higher than her. Scientists of the past outweighs a smart female of the present.

She had almost the same humor as him, which was a very morbid, insulting, and sometimes a stale sense of it. She shared a passion for the mind. And by his small reading of her, by her eyes and the way her body language was, he did believe that she found him attractive at least a little bit.

He wasn't sure, but his offer to get coffee would happen tomorrow, and a closer and less formal setting he would be able to either confirm or trash the idea.

She wasn't acting like a school girl going gooey eyed for a person, but the way she acted was a modest checking out of him. Her eyes did not remain on his face, he was sure of it. Still from his little reading of her and her acting around him, he couldn't figure out if she was just eyeing him up and down because of his drastic appearance change or because she _liked_ the drastic appearance change.

Either way, everything would work so perfectly.

If she found him attractive and already liked his mind, he just had to sweeten up his personality a little and she would do tasks and research for him no questions asked and she would do it with a huge motivation to impress him. If she didn't find him attractive, oh well. He'd have to charm her or something. Anything to get her to have complete trust in him. Though he figured, he wouldn't have to sweeten up his personality that much at all. They were fine in high school, and she liked his mind and had motivation to try to impress and be better than him. Also, from there time together in youth, she had acted like she trusted him.

No...

No, he wouldn't have to change really at all, after he thought about it more.

The only thing he'd have to change was the files and formulas he showed her. He'd have to give her a different copy than the ones he had on him, as most blatantly said on them, that the formula was to increase fear.

If she were to find a way to increase something like happiness, that would suffice enough for him to morph that formula into enhancing fear.

She would be his little lab rat. Yes, he'd be using her. Yes, she didn't deserve it from how nice she had been to him.

But honestly, he didn't care.

Maybe if she were to see things in his eyes, she'd realize too that the world is a horrible place and spreading fear would make everyone see that.

If she were to agree with his cause, then hell he'd let her jump on board and they could create the best fear toxins the world would not be prepared to see. But he'd work with what he had. She was not going into it with the intent to create fear, so whatever formula she helped produce would not be top notch.

All in all, he was just thankful that he had been paired up with her out of all people for that project in their childhodd and that she took it upon herself to make sure he saw she could very well be his equal if she had starting studying the same time as him.

He really appreciated high school science class now.

Alexis remained in her office the rest of the day, sorting through the files and putting them in her large filing cabinets. She became familiar with her computer program and had to use the tutorial program set up by Arkham to learn more about her job.

Her mind kept traveling to Jonathan throughout her day. His attitude, his passion for the mind, his ideas, his _looks_...the giant difference from high school.

Grabbing coffee tomorrow seemed too far away.

She mostly wanted to know more about his ideas and how they had developed over the years they were not together. Before, it was an idea on a piece of paper, but now he most likely had formulas and ingredients and ideas.

She remembered she always looked forward to her talks with him in the library in the summer, and yet again she was excited to talk to him.

She enjoyed it for many reasons.

The unknown and shocking responses he would give.

His temper and their bickering that would motivate her to show him she could be better than him.

His humor that would come into the conversation so randomly she could never tell if he was making fun of her.

His passion for something she was into.

It all made for a perfect combination.

Jonathan Crane.

She smiled thinking about the fact that she didn't have to worry about being driven to the point of quitting like Judy had originally claimed she would be driven to do.

Afternoon hit, and by six it was time for her to head home. She walked by Jonathan's office and there he was, still typing away at something on his computer. She felt awkward opening his door just to say goodbye, so she decided against it and continued walking by his office, down the hall to the lobby.

She saw Judy sitting at the reception desk, gathering her belongings and heading out at the same time.

"Hey, how was your first day?" She asked, a bit of the snotty tone within her voice.

Alexis smiled at her, trying to make her feel uncomfortable and treat her the same way she had treated her earlier. "It was absolutely fine. I don't know what you are talking about, Jonathan is a lovely coworker."

"You don't have to fake it to me, he is honestly the biggest ass I have ever met." She struggled to get into her jacket as they walked outside into the breezy spring air.

"He wasn't to me, in fact...It's kind of a shock, but I knew him in high school. We were...friends." She smiled, deciding to word it that way.

"Friends? I didn't know it was possible for him to have a friend other than his computer." She began loudly chewing on the gum in her mouth.

"You just have to have an open mind and passion for knowledge. Then you can talk to him without hearing snotty remarks every other sentence." Alexis eyed Judy up and down. She bet that Judy did not have any such degree in the medical field or psychological field. Being a secretary did not require such education.

"Well...I judge on manners and I either like a person or I don't." Judy remarked.

"I can tell..." Alexis muttered.

"Hey, I didn't mean to be short with you this morning, I just get so tired of people coming in for that damn position. If what you say is true though you'll be the permanent one and I don't have to deal with it anymore. So I should be thanking you."

"No need to." Alexis felt awkward talking to her at this point and couldn't determine if she liked or disliked Judy.

"I just still find it hard to believe you found Dr. Crane...okay. Are you sure you met him for longer than a minute?" She questioned, stopping in her tracks as she must have been lined up with her vehicle.

"Yes, I'm sure," Giving her a small chuckle to amuse her Alexis kept walking towards her car. "Nice meeting you, see you tomorrow."

Pulling out of Arkham and crossing the bridge of the Narrows, she had an internal debate on which way to go. Left to her parents house, right to the comfort of her home. After a few seconds, she sighed and put her right blinker on. A simple phone call would suffice to please her mother and she felt suddenly too tired from all the nervous moments she endured throughout the day to deal with her overly cheery mother and always questioning people, father.

"Hey mom..." Alexis said into her phone as she unlocked her apartment door.

"Sweetie, how was your first day?"

"Tiring, but I like it. Of course I didn't get to do anything I wanted to do yet."

"Well it was only your first day. Hey your brother's graduation you may wanna request it off by them. It's in a few months."

"Oh-...yeah. I will, I promise. Wouldn't miss it for the world. In fact, I'm marking it on my calender right now." Alexis scrambled to fine a scrap piece of paper in the small desk in her living room. She jotted down the date and stuck it to her fridge. "Got it, oh hey mom you;ll never guess who I work with."

"Someone from your college?"

"No further back, high school. Remember Jonathan Crane?"

She paused for a moment thinking, "...OH yes I do. The one you did the project with? Oh that's wonderful you saw a familiar face."

"Well it wasn't exactly familiar mom, he's changed a lot."

"Was he the one with the long hair?"

"Yeah...but not anymore he's actually...pretty...good looking." She admitted hesitantly.

"Well I'm glad you know someone there. I won't keep you, you must be exhausted."

Alexis could hear her mother's smile through the phone. "Yeah, I'll try to keep in touch. Night mom."

Clicking her phone shut she put it by her bedside table to charge and had a quick change of clothes into something more comfortable.

Sitting on her sofa, curling up and eating a bowel of microwavable noodles, she watched some television.

"Meow..."

She looked down.

"Meow..."

"No..."

"Meow..."

"Go away..."

"Meow..."

"No this is people food." Alexis looked down at her cat who was staring at her from the floor, eyeing her spoon full of food.

"Meow..."

"Okay come 'ere."

She patted the empty spot next to her and her cat happily climbed up to join her. She rubbed her face and she purred affectionately. "This still doesn't mean your getting food."

As she pet her cat, she began to think about after work, grabbing coffee with Jonathan. The hours of her job her different almost every other day. One day it be seven to six at night. The next five in the morning till two in the afternoon. As tomorrow was until two, the coffee made sense. She would have raised an eyebrow at coffee at six at night. Two was reasonable.

It was almost as if they were going to be at the library once more in the middle of summer. Chatting and discussing idea. Comparing notes and laughing at jokes other would not understand due to lack of education.

She grew excited and while spacing out, missed seeing her cat begin to lap at her bowel of noodles.

"HEY! Get off." She pushed at her cat who left with his tail and head held high for the satisfaction of getting a taste of food.

Watching another hour of random news, she flicked her television off and went to her bed. She laid underneath her warm comforters and relaxed. Unable to fall right asleep, she groaned and got out of bed having an idea.

She went to her closet in the hallway and went through a few bins of old belongings of hers. She finally found what she was looking for and pulled out a rather thick essay. Returning to bed, she turned on her bedside lamp and began to read the essay her and Jonathan Crane had written seven years ago.

Rereading his idea in typed words thrilled her at the thought of being able to change the very medical and emotional world.

If Jonathan and her were able to really create something to cause an emotion to disappear or enhance, they would be world wide known scientists. The possibilities were endless.

She placed the essay on her side table, intending to bring it to show Jonathan tomorrow and drifted to sleep with thoughts of formulas and herbs running through her head.

* * *

Jonathan meanwhile was busy at work in his own apartment about fifteen minutes away from Alexis. He was busy typing away on his computer creating a new paper and formula theory that would not mention his true intentions. He drew some sketches and placed them all in a file, that he intended on bringing to show Alexis tomorrow.

It was a beautiful plan really.

He reread his file making sure everything was flawless. If she had any hint of his intent to increase fear, this early in their reconnecting friendship, she'd back out at once.

The time read 2:00 in the morning and he sighed. Having to be at work in a few hours, he turned his computer off and went to his bedroom.

He averaged about three to four hours of sleep a night, which did not help his mind or his broken thought process. He never showed circles of needing sleep under his eyes though, which was a blessing. He did get the occasional headache or tension in his body due to being run down.

But this was not the time to worry about lack of sleep for him.

He was ready to put his fear toxin plans into full speed.

* * *

Review review review please. :)

Thank you to those who have, you guys are amazing and keep me going! Even something as simple as "Keep going" is fine ahahah as long as I know people are interested!


	6. Motivation Through Confrontation

Sorry for my slow updates. Life's been rather busy. I had prom and I am graduating in like two weeks, and I get one day a week off from work. So sorry! Not really feeling this chapter either, hope it doesn't show..

Side note the plant in Batman Begins used to induce fear...Well they never gave it a name. Try as I might there just wasn't a name for it, so if I make up a name for it sorry. Also...Jonathan...Like I have said I find him to be the less of the crazy villains and in Batman Begins his character wasn't really explored and I do deem him to have a male side, if you understand what I mean. But I don't think that is anywhere near the top of his list. Just reminding you of this and this being my view of the subject.

* * *

"Good morning Judy." Alexis sent a smile, too perky to be seen at 4:45 in the morning. She arrived fifteen minutes early before her shift started and Judy was already at her desk, trying to keep her eye lids from drooping forward.

"Mornin'." Judy rubbed her eyes, unable to complete the word. The circles under her eyes showed her lack of sleep the previous night and the small smell of alcohol was coming from the desk as Alexis passed by. Judy was obviously still a little out of it from whatever she had been doing the night before.

Alexis gripped her purse tighter as she used her access to open the doorway that lead to the offices. When she passed by Jonathan's office, she noticed that he was not there yet, unlike she assumed him to be. She did not peg him to be one to arrive late to work, but one to arrive hours before their shift, mindless typing away on the computer.

_Perhaps he invested himself in a good night's sleep. _She thought half heartedly.

She went to her office and unlocked the door leading to her cluttered room. Yesterday she had filed everything and now only a few files were on her desk that she had noticed errors in the writing. Things and theories that conflicted with other things written about patients and all that jazz, was what she was going to have to solve today. Jonathan had said to talk to security guards when requesting a visit with a patient and she'd do just that later in the day.

Her mind grew excited at the chance to finally interact with those who needed her guidance. The thought of being able to figure out why things worked the way they worked was positively thrilling to her. The thing needed to be figured out why it worked or did not work properly was a person's brain of course, and the fact that the answer to her question of why, could not be answered flat out and lead to an observation and logical guessing fiasco almost brought her to an excited sweating state of body.

She noticed her grip on her pen was a little too tight as she came back to reality. It was at this point she realized she was enjoying her job too much. Something though, she figured, Jonathan enjoyed as much as well.

The first patient on her list was under tha care of Dr. Phillip Deering. He had diagnosed this patient with schizophrenia but from what was written it almost appeared to be slight schizophrenia and a severe case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; A dangerous version of it, at that. The man, Henry Milcox had murdered two people. It stated he had to kill two people, because he claimed one was an odd number and he hated odd numbers.

Reading in depth of his report fascinated her. The medication prescribed to him was all wrong though dosage wise. It appeared he was receiving lack of medication and more would be needed to cure him of his errors.

He would be her first visit today.

She picked up the phone on her desk and looked at the directory underneath where the phone was in its holder. She dialed for security.

"Security office, Jeff speaking."

"Hi Jeff? This is Dr. Crawford, I'd like to request a one on one session with patient..." She paused to read. "4403, Mr. Milcox."

"Let's see here...His daily session is at noon, would you like to before or after that?"

"Before please." She responded, trying to sound cheery.

"Okay, I can get him in room 22B at nine o'clock. Does that work for you?"

"Yes it does thank you very much."

"No problem."

Hanging up, she felt that conversation went very well for her first time requesting a one on one. Her confidence was growing steadily, though she did not want to get too ahead of herself. It be the real test once she started talking to her first patient.

_My first patient..._

She was star struck. Living her dream, in Gotham City of all places.

A smile formed on her face as she leaned back in her chair and sat comfortably.

For the rest of her day, she managed to not see Jonathan once. Her schedule was busy as it was and she ended up not being in her office half the day. Her boss gave her a list of patients she would end up having to meet with daily as the facility had too many patients for all the doctors to handle. She met with her three patients for an hour and wrote notes the entire time. One of her patients was one of the more dangerous type and a guard had to be stationed with her during the session as the person did not take well to new people.

When it grew close to one, she finally had the time to return to her office. She noticed as she walked by that Jonathan was in his office, door slightly ajar. She passed by and went to her office, holding in her urges to start a small chat with him. She began to write and reread through her notes and files and spent the next hour doing so. She could not help the gnawing feeling of excitement build as two o'clock began to come within sight.

Coffee with Jonathan Crane. Sipping it while talking about theories with Jonathan Crane.

Never had she thought his name would be apart of her vocabulary once more. The name though returned as quickly as it left and she felt like the years separating them, would merely feel like a few weeks. From her little interaction with him it was almost as if he had not changed at all.

The mentally based friendship was back in action, but perhaps it would put more emphasis on the friendship aspect of it.

_Knock. Knock._

"Lex, you almost done?" Jonathan stood in the threshold. He was dressed in a darker brown suit than yesterday, but dawned on a similar sweater vest underneath and a blue tie underneath. He made her outfit seemed a bit under dressed. She picked out a simple purple shirt that hung on to the edges of her shoulders, and black pants. She knew she had to go shopping for suits, but found herself having to willpower to do so.

She glanced at the clock and saw it to be a half hour past two. Being so into her paperwork, she managed to let time slip away from her.

"Sorry, lost track of time." She smiled and took her glasses off for a moment to rub at her eyes. Placing them back over her eyes, she began to gather her paperwork into their files and shut down her computer. "Just one second..." She half stood up still gripping her mouse as she made sure the power went off.

"No rush." She heard him mutter, though his tone sounded otherwise. She never knew him to be a patient person, so of course she didn't assume him to be one as an adult.

Closing down her office and utilities, Alexis straightened out her back and walked towards Jonathan. Grabbing her purse as she passed by it, she followed him from the room and walked by his side down the hallway. Her assumptions yesterday had been right. Jonathan was not on the taller side, and she found her head being level with his forehead. It was odd to be as close as she was to him. The hallway being not rather wide, she could move a couple inches to her right and her shoulder would be brushing up against his side, something she of course would not do. So she kept a reasonable gap between them and they made their trek to the lobby area. A few doctors gave an odd glance at the two, obviously not used to seeing Jonathan walking with a new doctor without giving a repulsed look at them every few seconds.

"How are you finding our computer system?" He asked her, trying to keep away the odd silence.

"It is a little tricky to get to some things, but I'm learning." She half smiled, trying to sound more confident than she really was.

"Did you get your patient list? How did you find it, hard to communicate with some of them?" He asked, probing questions at her.

"Yes, I got my list, and I found it very easy to talk to them. They don't scare me, as they are human beings. The only one that made me question my security with was Miranda...the schizophrenic one. She thinks that I'm part of the CIA and I have come to kill her. She'll be a challenge."

"Ah...I've met with her before. She thought I was her ex husband. She tried to strangle me once." He seemed to think it was humorous.

"...Uh..." She went blank, as they walked out of the asylum to the parking area.

"I wouldn't worry about her though, if she's pinned down she won't do anything." He tried to lighten the mood. "So how do we want to do this?" He stopped in his tracks at the entrance to the parking lot.

"Do what?" She asked.

"Get to the coffee shop. Either we could car pool or follow one another or drop one car off at one's home and then-..." He looked at her, showing he was letting her decide.

"I-...I don't care. Whatever is easier."

"Well how far away do you live?"

"About ten minutes away, towards west side." She pointed in the direction without thinking.

"And I live towards the east side. Well seems like Arkham is the middle point. Why don't you just follow behind me. Save everyone time." He suddenly decided, taking control of the dilemma.

With that, they both got into their cars, parked a bit away from each other and she followed behind him to a coffee shop just five minutes away. A few times others cars got in front of her and she had a little bit of a panic thinking she'd lose sight of him and knowing she didn't have his number, she figured they wouldn't be able to meet up.

Parking in the little plaza shop parking lot, she pulled up beside his shiny blue Honda.

"This place serves the best coffee and grain products." He said, opening his door and meeting her in front of their cars. "I come here whenever I have a free moment in my life."

"So you barely go here, I assume?" She chuckled.

"Correct." He smirked. "But of the few times I have been here, I have been satisfied with it."

They entered the slightly dim lighted room, with earthy colors and yellow over hang lights as far as the eye could see. Of course, the eye could only see to the opposite walls which were rather close as the small coffee shop he mentioned had an emphasis on the _small_ part. There were tables and chairs placed near windows and scattered through out the shop. To the far end was the counter, with the smell of coffee and baked good centering around it.

They found themselves in line, and she looked over the menu with absolutely no idea of what she wanted. He offered to let her go first, but she declined claiming she was still in a debate on what to get. He ordered gracefully, not stammering in his words as he ordered a coffee with extra extra and a hint of caramel flavoring. He then ordered two scones, turning to her as he did so. "One's for you. They are so good, you have to try it."

"Thanks..." She smiled, feeling bad he was spending money on her. She declined him once again, this time with his offer to pay for her coffee. He had a hint of frustration in his eyes. She didn't notice as she placed her order to the cashier next to his, for a simple coffee with light milk and no sugar.

They found a table near the window, and both set down their drinks and he passed her a scone.

"So let's not beat around any bushes." He pulled out a file and placed it on the table, letting it face her as he opened it.

She took it greedily and began to read it.

"My idea is an emotion can be triggered through a drug or dismissed. If they can make medication to rid of nervous feelings or anxiety, why can't the same be said for other things. Now, illegal drugs like cannabis can induce a calm like state for a temporary period of time, so why can't it be made permanent?"

"Well, if we were to experiment with this stuff, we would most likely want a temporary one at first so nothing goes incredibly wrong." She said as she continued to study the research plans.

"Of course I thought of that too...But research of this sort...We may have to use..." He coughed. "Controversial drugs in order to get the effect we want. I hope that doesn't turn you off from the idea."

She hesitated for a moment and looked up at him. He had his glasses lowered a bit as he looked at her from the tops of his eyes. His hands were folded together, with his elbows resting on the table. His chin found its way to rest on his hands and to her he looked almost like a statue with the porcelain and flawless looking skin he held.

"Well, I mean if it comes down to that..." She looked back down at the paperwork, frustrated that she found herself staring at his looks once more. "I'd want it to be a last resort. I don't want to be caught with illegal things."

"We in no way would be caught, it is just my concern that say we are able to get the drug to work, how the public would view it if an illegal drug was in it." He lied through his teeth, but his tone was again so flawless she did not pick up on it's false meaning.

She smiled slightly. "I guess...I'm fine with it."

"Good...I was thinking we could split up the work." He took the folder back from her and scanned through it finding a piece of paper. "I wrote down a small list of emotions for you to research into. The chemicals in the mind released when felt, the drugs that help ease or increase it. And ideas and formulas to fix it. I gave you three. Fear, anger, and sadness."

"Wow, very happy ones." She joked.

"Well, I have some ones like that too. My list is shock, pain, and nervousness."

"I'm surprised you gave me fear. You seemed very keen on being one to rid the world of it."

"Well I need a second opinion for it. Of course I'll put my own ideas into it, but this is just to get started. We'll research and then collaborate." He pushed his glasses closer to his face. "Even if say you were to find something that were to for example increase or enhance fear, still write it down make formulas and what not, because if we can find a formula, we can find it's opposite."

"Smart thinking. My other concern is, some of these I doubt the ingredients used for could be consumed in pill form. I feel like we are going to come across things that require inhalation, which proves to cause health issues. There will be a catch 22 to all this, if that ends up the case. Cure yourself of anger, but be at risk for cancer."

"Let us worry about that, should the problem appear." He reassured her. "But...are you still interested in assisting me with this?"

"Of course. This is absolutely fascinating." She smiled.

He leaned back in his chair, visibly relaxing as he took a sip of his coffee. "Thank you." He sent her a smile, and to her it was another odd and honest smile. It gave her a small boost of confidence in thinking that he really needed her help with everything.

She took a sip out of her own cup and then took a bite of her scone that he gave her. A few crumbs ended up lingering on her lips and she tried to cover her mouth from his view with her hand. He handed her a napkin and she embarrassingly took.

"I am not exactly a very lady like eater." She joked, wiping away the remainders of food.

"You never were." He muttered.

"Hey I heard that!"

"Just stating the truth Lex." He raised an eyebrow almost as if challenging her to a battle of words, but meaning no insulting harm of course.

"Well, I'm not the one that stained my floor with tomato sauce." She challenged back.

"Oh please, Lex. My stain was met and blended by all the other ones on your floor. Mine was unnoticed." He responded quickly.

"I take that deep to the heart, Jonathan. My room had a flare to it, stains and all."

"Exactly, I was helping add to your...flare." He let his hands spread out from his body acting to emphasis his words.

"I'm sure that is what your intent was." She remarked sarcastically.

Silence took over for a moment while they ate their food. A bit landed on her outfit with the next consumption and she had to wipe it away.

"So how was college for you?" She asked while absentmindedly wiping away food.

"It was good. Most professors were idiots, but there was a few I admired for their effort."

"Effort?" She chuckled.

"They tried to sound smart, but held no experience outside of the classroom with things they spoke about. What about your experience?"

"It was fine. I met a bunch of nice people, and the teachers were half smart. A few I felt as if they just read out of the text book and only knew what the books could offer."

"That's exactly my college experience." He laughed.

"Well, once I landed a job at Arkham I grew excited because I would no longer be like my professors. I would have experience outside of a text book."

"Is it what you imagined it to be so far?" He took off his glasses and let them rest on the table. His eyes sent that same chill through her without the glass blocking them from her view.

"So far...?" She looked down at the table in thought, at what she went through the past two days. "It's better than I thought it would be. And you're here...which makes it even better I have a person with me that shares an actual interest in the field and not the pay check. You've worked at Arkham for what two years now? Do you love it? Does your job still have the exciting feeling in it."

Jonathan decided to allow this moment to let seeds be planted and trust be allowed to be build to an even greater extend, if she didn't already have it for him.

"Well, it was starting to lose it's feeling of passion to be honest...I don't know. Being surrounded by people who care about money and are corrupt...I started to question if I should move on to a different field. But with you now my new partner here. I think the spark of passion for Arkham is back."

The blush on her face was not well hidden. She felt the heat rush to her cheeks and she had to look down once more to avoid contact with the aqua eyes of her table dweller. A compliment from him was something rare and hard to handle.

"I-...Thanks." She still did not look up.

Jonathan felt satisfaction seeing the red go to her cheeks, but was still not convinced she was going to like him in any way but partnership at this point. To him, she was just a female having difficulty accepting a compliment, which to be honest from his point of view, was not a lie. He was having trouble in Arkham keeping his ideas and passion for creating the ultimate fear toxin alive. He felt as if time was not on his side and neither was luck. But like a new light in life, Alexis walked through the door and opened up seven new ones as she did so. With someone by his side to assist him, knowingly or unknowingly, he felt as if nothing was holding him back from creating and doing what he was going to do.

Technically to this point, he had not lied to her; just stretched the truth or left out a few details.

Alexis, finally looked back up at him. Her emerald eyes a bit wide with curiosity as she looked at him. She couldn't quite figure him out completely. Jonathan had always been an odd person to try to decipher and still she found it hard to.

_Is it flirting with me...or is he being nice?_ She couldn't tell. She did not like him as anything but a friend at this point. How could she like him as anything more at this point? She only started talking to him once more as of yesterday. Attractive or not, she was not going to put her heart or expectations into something without time to build something.

"How was the scone?" He asked her, suddenly breaking both their thoughts on each other.

"It was good." They broke their awkward spacing out stare they had given each other. "Never had one before."

"Told you...the few times I've been here. It's always been good." He leaned forward in his chair pushing the folder back towards her.

"You can keep this folder. I have a copy of everything in there at home."

"Are you sure?" She asked closing the folder and placing it off to the side of the table.

"Positive." He said, acting as if he didn't care at all, which of course he didn't. Everything in that folder meant nothing to him.

After the few more topics about college and things learned in their travels away from high school, Jonathan blamed the dinner hour creeping upon them as the day ender.

"So when should we meet again for this?" She asked, "Wow, sounds just like that high school project."

Alexis leaned her back on her driver side door as he stood a ways away from her. "It is like a project though...but more important...and there is no teacher to give us an A plus."

"True..." She smiled.

"How about we meet up this weekend some time. So it will give you time to collect data and what not." He proposed. "Oh...perhaps you should have my cell number. Just in case anything should turn up."

He took out his own cell phone and they exchanged numbers. "There...just so anything happens all the sudden."

"Sounds good. Well I'll see you tomorrow at work then." They said their goodbyes with a simple exchange of words and were off in their cars to drive home.

* * *

Entering her apartment, she rushed to a computer. She logged herself in and began to research. The spark in her, the need, to impress him was suddenly resting in the pit of her stomach.

Her cat jumped up onto the table her computer was on and blocked the screen with his body, looking for affection. "Meow."

"Kitty...go away. I need to do...homework." She told her cat, giving him a few rubs and then tried to dismiss him away.

While other females tried to impress males with their looks and showing off their 'assets', she found it funny that the way she was going to impress a male was through her knowledge, research, and paperwork.

Every so often as she grew tired, she tried to picture herself handing him her paperwork. He'd look at it and be speechless almost in a fit of laughter. She'd just have discovered the cure for fear. He'd take her in his arms in a giant hug of amazement and tell her how impressed he was.

Her cat or reality would take her from her day dreams. Even if she were to find the cure for cancer, his reaction would in no way be in the way she pictured it to be. Or it could be? She'd never know until she found the answer.

She rubbed at her eyes under her glasses and wrote things down she found. Nothing.

Nothing he hadn't written down before. Anything within the first 100 pages on the Internet, she was sure he had already looked at.

Waking up, she found a puddle of drool over her paperwork, her glasses still on, and her car laying on top of her head. Falling asleep at her computer desk was something she did as a college student, not a full time working doctor. She grabbed her car from a top her head, and got a small scratch on her hand from his anger of being woken up. The blood delayed its release from her hand as she made her way to the bathroom to find some pain relievers as her body was not happy with the way she had slept. The pains and muscle tension throughout her shoulders caused the walk to the medicine cabinet to be a slow one. After taking the medication, she put a small band aid on her hand and rushed to check the time.

She had a half hour before work. Sleeping in, was not something she was used to and did not want to make a habit out of. Becoming a partner in Jonathan's work seemed to have its negative sides showing up already.

At work, she made it five minutes late, and tried to be unnoticed by anyone but Judy. Judy did notice her and started laughing.

"Rough morning?" She snickered.

"Yeah, sorry I am late." Alexis tried to keep the conversation to a minimum The sooner she got to her office, the less people would notice she was late. Judy just kept laughing as she turned her attention back to her computer.

Walking down the hallway to her office, she was walking right towards Jonathan who had a file in hand that he was looking down at. He glanced up at her and gave a half smile.

"Good morning Lex."

"Good morning."

A few doctors passed by giving odd looks at Alexis.

He looked her over once. "Uh...a bit tired?"

"I overslept...Was rushed this morning." She yawned towards the end of her sentence, then rubbed at her head that was pounding with a headache. "Is it that obvious? I didn't know being five minutes was such a big deal." She said that while looking at a few others that passed by that were giving her odd looks.

"Well... They may be looking at you odd because your nylons have a huge rip in them and your jacket has a stain on it." He kept his voice low trying to keep his words only heard by him.

She looked down in slight horror as what he said was true. In a rush she had not noticed her nylons to have a rip in them, which must have gotten worse as she put the jacket on which had a stain, that looked like cat thrown up. The smell confirmed her thought.

"Oh god..." Was all that came out of her mouth.

"Come into my office." Jonathan said. Back tracking a few steps, he opened his door to allow her in. He shut it behind him and she removed her jacket quickly. Underneath she was wearing a thick white tank top like shirt, that she deemed only wearable underneath a jacket or something. She took the stained jacket, and slightly cursed the fact she owned a cat.

"My cat...I'm going to kill it." She muttered.

"Here," He handed her a plastic bag that he dug out of one of his drawers.

"Thank you...This is really embarrassing."

"Don't feel it...I once walked in with brown shoes and a black suit."

"Oh perish the thought." She sarcastically remarked. She turned her body to the side to avoid a frontal view while she removed her torn nylon leggings. She could see out of the corner of her eye Jonathan was half looking at her.

"Great...I look like an office slut." She stood up and looked down at herself in a black skirt and white tank top. "This won't do...I have to go home and grab something to put on my top."

"No you'll end up in more trouble as a skipper than an 'office slut'..." He made quotes in the air. "Borrow my lab coat." He went over to his coat hanger and grabbed the white long coat. "You get one eventually, but it takes a while to come. So just take mine for the day."

"Really? Thanks." She took it and immediately covered her exposing arms and front neck area. Feeling more secure she saw it ran a little long on her and the sleeves she needed to pull up a bit. "I'm swimming in it." She joked.

"You say thank you too much." He stated. "Whatever manner obsession lectures your mother instilled into you, you should lower it a bit. I'm just doing what anyone would do for a friend in need."

"Sorry...my mom did always say you can't be too polite..."

"Oh you can." He said very seriously, then his mouth broke into a small smile. "I'm kidding. Why were you so tired, catch a marathon of your favorite soup opera?" He teased.

"Of course, because in my spare time I like to watch drama that is both unrealistic and over dramatic, but a waste of my precious time. No, really I was researching and fell asleep at my desk."

"Really?" He got interested. "Find anything last night?"

"Well aren't you awake all the sudden..." She half laughed. "No I didn't. I figured the first dozen pages of the Internet, you already devoured through. I am trying to figure out a different approach."

"Your assumption is dead on." He said, as he went to his desk and sat down. "I scanned through so many links and pages, it be easier to say what I haven't looked up."

"I don't know. I'm going to the library after work I think. Do you still go as often as we used too?"

"Not at all. I've read nearly every book there. All it has to offer has been taken." He pulled on the sides of his jacket to straighten it out on him.

"Well, I gotta get to work. I'm probably already behind. Thanks for the jacket." She headed for the door.

"Too nice Lex. You're too nice." He half scolded her, the attitude in his voice unhidden.

She poked her head back through the door. "What do you want me to say? Jonathan...I am not grateful for this jacket and helping me from making a complete fool out of myself?"

"Words unspoken are the better for interpretation." He leaned back in his chair.

"So you want me to have less manners? You get annoyed by my manners?" The slight attitude in her voice began to creep its way out.

"I merely am stating that if you are as nice as your manners show you off to be, people will walk all over you Lex. The world is a cruel place, and its too late for it to have people trying to fix it by being polite. If I held a door for an average person, you really think they will say thank you?"

"Yes...?" She lost her confidence.

"Not at all they will, walk through the door and not even look at me. It's like they are walking on top of me and crushing me beneath their feet." He sounded as if he was lecturing her.

"You really think that?" She was in slight awe at how sudden his mood changed to bitter hate of others.

"Of course. But that's why this research will change that..." He changed his tone so suddenly as if realizing he was starting to act out.

"Maybe we should start by researching how to rid someone of attitude." She spoke out.

"Great, you wanna be the guinea pig for that?" He smirked at her.

Just like high school again. Bickering over nothing, fighting for no real good reason. If someone were to ask either of them, what started the argument most likely they would have forgotten. Looking back though as she walked to her office in anger, she knew deep down just as she did seven years or so ago, that she never could hate Jonathan. The fights actually made her more inspired to be better than him.

Motivation through confrontation

* * *

With a stack of five library books on her dining room table, she began to skim through their contents; mostly finding nothing she had no already seen. She flipped the television on and glanced at it every so often. She figured Jonathan would be scolding her if he saw her watching TV while she worked. But in her defense she kept it on a travel and historical channel.

Page after page, her patience was wearing thing. She found nothing of interest at all. In defeat she let her head lay on top of an open book.

"_And the natives take caution whenever they are within close proximity of this plant."_ A lady on the television spoke.

"_The plants of eastern Asia."_ A man was voicing over a native to interpret what he was saying. Alexis turned her head on the table to face the television. _"Are as unique as they get. But when making treks on the eastern slopes one must be wary of the blue flower."_

"_This legendary flower, the natives say, cause hallucinations like no other drug." _The lady spoke.

"_If one is to inhale it...Their greatest fears come alive. I have never seen the blue double bloomed poppy in my lifetime, but have known many who have seen it and inhaled its' smoke to see the wonders it brings. But they did not find wonders. They say it is as if everything turns to evil. The gods above show us what hell is like."_ The old man spoke.

"_This flower has not been seen by any scientists, and is believed to not exist. It is believed the natives are on other substances when they 'see' this flower. The eastern slopes though are very vast and many places undiscovered. So the answer to this mysterious flower is unknown. Another mystery of Eastern Asia is the rare KauBei monster that natives say fly over the sky at night towards the end of the month. It is suppose to be a-" _

She shut the television off and went on to the computer. She typed in 'rare blue double bloomed poppy eastern Asia" and had to search through many pages until she found an actual picture of the plant.

Though this plant may not be real, it was the only lead she had. Jonathan had said if she were to find the opposite of something, to investigate into it. If the plant produced fear, they could research the chemicals to find something to rid fear.

Excited, she wrote down everything she could find about this plant, with no name given to it. Finally, she had that things to show him. Even if it didn't exist, it was still a lead.

Satisfied with all she could find, she changed into sleepwear and crawled into bed. Laying there, without the light on she began to picture how Crane would react to her discovery.

Her cell phone laid on the table next to her charging and she couldn't resist opening it and starting a new message.

_Made big discovery today :)_

She sent Jonathan the message, without hesitation. If he deemed it awkward for her to be texting him, he should have known by that point she wasn't afraid of traditional affairs such as the male having to be the one to start a conversation. She didn't expect a response, as she wouldn't peg him to have his phone on him at all times.

Trying to fall asleep about ten minutes into the attempt, she heard a vibration against her table. Flipping her phone open she read:

_Define big._

She smiled at his lack of interest. Whether it was a facade, or just lack of expectations, she decided his remark would cost him.

_Never mind then. I'll just tell you another day on the thing I _

_found that induces fear hallucinations._

With that, she shut her phone off to charge and to avoid the excessive amount of vibrations it would be making due to Jonathan's need to know what she discovered.

_His attitude will be his downfall. _She thought to herself. _I am going to make him learn that._ She silently laughed to herself, picturing him growing more frustrated with the lack of response she would be giving him. Hell, she thought he may end up calling her. It amused her. _He can scold me for my excessive manners, but I can not scold him for his excessive attitude? That's not how we play the game Jonathan._

* * *

"I texted you, about ten times. I even called you." Jonathan Crane walked into Alexis's office without even knocking the next morning.

"Really? Didn't get them fell asleep." She smiled at him.

"Okay, what's this about." He asked, sitting in the chair across from her desk.

"You wanted me to stop being polite. I thought I'd start by not responding through text." She took off her glasses and gave him a look to show she had the upper hand.

"I was just kidding when I said that, your manners are a good thing." He calmly stated, though the way his hand was fidgeting showed his impatience.

"No you weren't. You think I'm too goody two shoed for you. So I'm just following your advice." She chimed.

"Okay...Okay I get it. Now can you please get over whatever personal issue your having and tell me what you found?"

"_Personal_ issue?" She hung her mouth open in disgust. "The only issue I have is with you."

"With me? What about me? Stating the truth yesterday in saying in better words that nice guys finish last? Alexis, you're already becoming less of what I tell you to not be, by saying you will willingly be okay with using illegal drugs in our experimentation. You're just too polite for your own good. I can just picture someone coming up to you and saying that they want the formula you have in your hands somewhere and take credit for discovering whatever you found and you being okay with it and even throwing in your car so they can go to the science board and show them."

"You're being over dramatic." She raised her voice. "All I do is be nice and show manners. I'm not going to give anything we talk about away to anyone."

"Well the way you act begs to differ."

"Well maybe you just can't read me well."

He paused, unable to think of something witty to say. "Maybe."

"I think you just don't know how to respond when someone is being nice to you and being honest." She shot at him.

He wasn't expecting that comment, and tightened his grip on the chair's arm rests. "I can handle honesty, your the one that can't. The truth can be harsh."

"And the truth can be nice. You can't handle nice truths and you say I can't handle harsh truth."

"Then we are more opposite then you claim we are." He glared at her suddenly, causing a few chills to run down her spine.

"I never claimed us to be alike in anything but our job field. What is your problem Jonathan Crane? We went through this before when we were younger. You can't take me seriously when I am being nice to you and you just pick fights with me."

"Because you can handle it..." He suddenly said.

"Now you're losing me. What do you mean by that?"

"I would have walked out of this room a while ago if I didn't think you could handle an argument with me. You are intellectually able to handle a fight with me. Others name call, stomp their feet, or go silent and leave the confrontation. You hold your ground." His anger in his tone began to fade into a more calming tone.

"And this means?" She asked, folding her arms across her chest as she leaned back in her chair.

"That I enjoy fighting with you."

"That hardly sounds like anything a friend would say to another friend."

"Yes, but we are not the ideal friendship that society tries to claim is necessary. Where are the guidelines to friendships? I don't see them anywhere." He let his hands motion outwards.

"True but-"

He interrupted her. "But nothing, just because we don't behave like others do, doesn't mean we aren't any better or less than them."

"You confuse me sometimes. Your moods swing more than a pregnant lady, and believe me. Two of my friends gave birth last year. I have first hand experience with it-..." She tried to keep her anger there.

"I could say the same for you though. You have your temper still and that mouth of yours. It runs without hesitation."

"Then your statement about us being opposites...its false. We do have more in common than job interests. We both don't know how to, in blunt terms, shut up or how to control our anger."

"Sounds like a day at the beach to me." He chimed.

They both paused and looked at one another.

"Why are we even fighting?" She asked.

"I don't know...because that's what we've always done?" He probed.

"Do you really think I'm too nice for my own good?" She asked.

"Yes, but its easily fixable."

"I am not a machine that you can just fix what's wrong with." She laughed, relaxing.

"But isn't that what we are technically doing? Fixing the human mind...like a machine...ridding it of emotions."

"I guess..." She smirked.

"Now...What did you find out yesterday?"

"Not here...I'll tell you later today if you want. Don't want someone to pass by, ask what we are doing, and then my honest and nice self just tell the truth and have our ideas spilled out to the world." She sarcastically remarked.

"Now you're just asking for a fight." He slightly smirked.

"Cause I know you can handle it. I'm a tough one to fight." She teased. Her eyes squinted at him as she scrunched her nose at him, like she used to whenever she'd say something that could be taken in more than one meaning.

_Oh god...Am I flirting with him? _The thought crossed her mind as he gave her a raised eyebrow as if challenging her statement.

"Well see. But I'll stop by your office later in the day. We can figure out what we are going to do later. It's Friday night too, so with the lack of work tomorrow we could be somewhere late and not have to worry about early rising." He stood up, and lingered at the door for her response.

"Okay, no problem." She said after him.

Jonathan returned to his office, his stomach still filled with anxiety; wanting to know what information she found out. He didn't want to have expectations, as most likely it was something he already knew. He didn't know why, but around Alexis he had to the urge to prove himself more than the average person. As if he almost had a personal fear that she was going to end up smarter than him.

_Impossible... _He thought to himself and dismissed such a ludicrous thought.

But she still posed the challenge and he always did love one. Always being better than everyone else, there was no competition. It made his adrenaline pumping.

His conversation with her, could be misinterpreted as flirting in a sense and he was aware of this. He didn't even know if he was flirting with her.

In his college life he had humored fellow female peers with the occasional flirting and had a few 'encounters' with some on a few nights. He may be keen on corruption, but once every so often his male side came out. True, the females he had been with were nothing more to him than an object. He never returned calls, or made any effort to speak with them again. He used them physically, and the rarity of it was perhaps once every time a female had the guts to approach him. So not, too often. Twice a year was pushing it.

He never approached the opposite sex, he waited for them to come to him. Half the time though he shooed them away. Only when he was feeling in the rare mood would he accept it.

In this case, he wasn't sure who approached who, but he could sit at his desk and admit to himself that he was now aware he flirted with Alexis a few moments before; whether it be intentional or the idea to gain her trust be in the back of his mind and he did it without thinking.

The only difference between his previous flirting with females and with Alexis, is Alexis he actually liked in some form of a friendship. The others were idiotic no brained ditsy young females. He didn't even remember any of their names.

He shooed away thoughts of flirting to think about what she knew that he possibly didn't.

_Damn it Lex... _He cursed to himself, unable to focus because of that auburn haired cocky little-...

* * *

The day passed by slow, with her interviews with patients and paperwork. All she wanted to do was meet with Jonathan afterwards and discuss with him what she found out.

_The clock couldn't tick any slower... _She whined to herself.

"So...do you think that they are out to get you still?" Alexis asked her patient as she sat across from her in an interviewing room.

Miranda, twitched and thrashed back and forth in her seat letting out screams of agony. "You'll never get what I know! I'll kill you all! I know where the gold is and I'll never tell you Mary!"

"It's...Alexis...Okay...I think we're all set for the day." She shuffled her papers on the table and left Miranda for the guards to escort out.

Walking to her office, Jonathan was exiting his. He looked up at her and his eyes softened in surprise. "Ah...Perfect timing."

"Oh darn is the day over already?" Sarcasm always found its way to her tongue.

"I know you must be so disappointed. I saw you met with Miranda once more today. How was it?" He followed her to her office, as she collected her belongings.

"Well, she still thinks I am trying to kill her and she seems to think she knows where the location of gold is."

"She hasn't changed a bit..." He muttered in disappointment. "I keep telling the higher staff the medications aren't strong enough, but they claim the way the patients are now is better than being a calm potato like human being."

"Well its controversial." Alexis pointed out. "So what are we doing?"

"It's too late for coffee at this hour." He glanced at the clock reading six o'clock. "Honestly I don't know where you want to go to meet."

"I feel bad at the thought of having to go somewhere each time that requires money and buying of something. If you want...we could just go to my apartment."

"Are you sure? We could go to mine?" He said. "Of course...I'd have a bit of cleaning to do first..."

"Jonathan Crane...a slob are we?" She acted shock.

"I am not, I am the opposite actually. I like everything in its place and completely clean."

"So the dust that collected while we were at work on your counter tops...that's what you would need to clean?" She asked.

"As a matter of fact-..."

She stopped him. "We can just go to my place. Hope you like cats."

"Cat_s_? As in plural?" He asked, tugging on his tie a little, to straighten it out. They made their way down the hallway together, a bit closer than the previous day, but not touching.

"I only have one don't worry. But he has the energy of six." She laughed.

"As long as it doesn't scratch me." He eyed her hand on her purse with the bandaid on it. "As it seems to like to mark up your body."

She looked down at her hand as well and dismissed him. "Nah, that was just because I woke him up."

"Great..." He muttered.

They got into their cars and he followed behind her all the ten minutes to her apartment. He parked next to her and he eyed the complex as he got out.

"Not up to your standards?" She asked him, noticing him checking out the building. The outside looked normal, but she pegged him to live in a much nicer type place.

"No it's fine...I'm just looking." He said, as he eyed all the fire escapes and roof type setting of the place, just to place that in the back of his mind should anything happen.

She was already at the entrance to the building and had to yell for him to catch his attention. "You coming?"

"Yeah, sorry spacing out." He sounded almost normal to her.

They entered the building and her habit to stay on the healthy side made her take the stairs up to her floor. Reaching her room she had a small flash back to when he went into her room for the first time in their younger years. It had been awkward. The same feeling was present as she unlocked her door and lead him into her apartment.

He eyed it over, taking in it modern feeling. It was evident though a female lived there with the small girlish feeling it gave off as well.

"It's very you..." He remarked.

"Wait here..." She went to her room and removed his lab coat he let her borrow and folded it up. Seconding thinking she smelled it and came to find it smelled a bit from her sweating throughout the day. For a quick fix she went over to her shelf and found a perfume. She then basically drenched it in the smell. She'd rather him complain of its girlish smell than its sweating smell.

Removing her tank top, she searched through her drawers and found a gray shirt representing her college's football team. She decided to get comfortable and changed into sweatpants as well. Walking out into the main room, she without thinking removed her hair from its tight bun she put it in everyday for work. Being the first time he would see her hair down since 're-meeting' her, she found herself a bit embarrassed of the odd ways it was traveling and the waves on it caused by the tight rubber band.

_Whatever..._

She ran her fingers through it as she walked to the fridge and let it do what it may. She dropped the lab coat on the dining table, where he found a seat at.

"You want something to drink?" She offered, pulling out a carton of orange juice.

"Sure, I'll have a glass of that."

She poured two glasses and then sat across from him at the table; picking up the folder resting on her desk on the way there.

"Okay...I found this on television...So I assumed you didn't find this because I don't even know if you own a television." She laughed while taking a sip of the juice.

"I do own a TV." He acted offended. "I get a total of two channels."

"My point exactly...well I saw something about in Eastern Asia there is a rare blue double bloomed flower that is suppose to bring out your worst nightmares...and the natives described it as-" She opened the folder to read a quote she wrote down, "The gods showing you what hell is like. Your own personal hell."

"Did you find things about it online?" He voice was a bit stammered as if he was excited.

"Yes, and some scientists believe this plant doesn't even exist. The natives claim it is being grown and protected by people there, so that is why no one has discovered it. I don't know if this is what you were looking for, but..."

"This is great information-...May I?" He held his hand out for the folder, too in trance to hear anything further she said.

_This is exactly what I need. _He thought to himself. _She knew something I did not. She is my challenge...But right now she is my break through!_

His eyes were wide with excitement and curiosity. His eyes darted back and forth on the piece of paper, soaking in each word. "Would you mind if I brought this with me, to make a copy of it?"

"No go ahead..." She said, walking back over to the kitchen. "Why don't I make us something to eat to celebrate? It is dinner time after all."

"Yes that be nice." Some part of his brain instructed him to react to whatever she said, as he read more into it.

Alexis rummaged through the kitchen, pulling out some chicken and rice. She cooked while Jonathan pulled out his own notebook from his bag and began to write things down. "Can I use your computer Lex?"

"Sure go ahead..." She called to him from the kitchen as she prepared a little vegetable mix within the chicken pan.

Jonathan went to the computer and did a little bit of research with Eastern Asia. Jonathan had connections to drug lords and dealers. Somehow he'd find a connection to Asia. He had too. If there was a plant over there capable of doing such a thing, he'd find it.

He had more than enough money from the medications he stole from Arkham daily and sold to costumers.

And all those costumers, many were crazy and would do his following and bidding for drugs. He just had to find a connection.

His only thought now was to include Alexis if he were to find this plant, or to pretend it doesn't exist and end all help should he find it and work alone. He'd figure it all out should the plant exist, he decided.

"It's ready." Alexis called, setting two plates filled with the food she made on the table. Jonathan cleared the history from the computer and closed the window to show off the picture of Alexis and a few of her friends on the background of the computer. He eyed the picture for a moment, not seeing it before as an Internet browser had been open already when he went to the computer. He compared Alexis to the other two girls in the picture and decided she looked better than the other two, who were making odd faces and dressed in rather exposing clothing. Alexis wore something more classy and looked to be mid-laugh.

He walked to the table and sat behind a plate. He waited for her to sit down, to begin eating.

"You're a good cook Lex." He said after tasting a bit of everything on his plate. He wasn't used to this type of cooking, normally eating microwavable meals or things on the go. It was nice to him to be tasting something a bit different. Normally he ate very fast and it was showing, so when he noticed he was almost done and she wasn't even half way, he started to slow his pace.

They chatted a bit about things not relating to work or research. Movies, books, pollution. Random things, but they could relate to many things. He helped her clear the plates and put them into her dishwasher. She went over and sat on the couch. She looked for him to follow her, but instead heard it...

"Meow..."

"Oh god..." Jonathan said to himself.

Alexis looked back to see her cat brushing against Jonathan's feet and weaving in between both of them. Should he step forward, he most likely would trip over its small body.

"What's this thing's name?" He stood frozen.

"It's not an 'it', he's a him. And his name is Cat or Kitten...I was too lazy to name it."

"Wow very original. Can you call it or something?"

"Cat!" She held her hand in his direction over the back of the couch and the cat meowed and jumped to the backboard of the couch, nestling by her neck as she petted him.

"Well...I have to go. It's getting late, but honestly this information is a break through Lex." He smiled coming closer to the couch.

"It's only eight...You an early sleeper?" She teased.

"The week is just catching up to me." Half of him wanted to stay and just sit and talk with her, maybe watch some television with her, and avoid the cat's touch. But his better half wanted to go home and get in contact with anyone and everyone and find out more about this plant. It was no time to slack off and chat with the auburn haired one.

_Work_ came first.

He was of course not an early sleeper. He was hyped up on the thoughts of the break through.

"Thank you Lex, I'll contact you tomorrow or something." He added in at the end, and wanted to say no promises though, but decided not to say it.

"Alright. Bye Jonathan." She sent him a small smile and returned to watching the television. "Don't forget your lab coat."

He picked up the white coat and left her apartment. Once he was outside he took out his phone and called the first person that came to mind relating to Eastern Asia drugs.

"Hey...Smith..." Jonathan said into the phone. "Do you know anything about...The League of Shadows?"

He sat in his car as he remained on the phone on hold. Before his eyes he could see it all. He could taste satisfaction. He could smell his idea coming to life before his very eyes.

_What the-?_

He inhaled...

No, he smelled perfume.

He took his lab coat and put it to his nose.

_Alexis..._

* * *

Review please. The plot is starting to happen. I just wanna know if you like it or not! Thank you to anyone who has already reviewed and those who are about to. Soon I'll write little public dedications to you all! Thanks!


	7. Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

I know, those who saw this story alert must be shocked and those just joining us, hello! Welcome to the story. I apologize for the lack of updates, but life got in the way. College and working as a waitress is not the best when you want to write. Anyways, I designed the plot further in the story and have created a huge plot twist that will occur much later, but I hope this twist does not defer any reader. Just keep in mind this sentence: Nolan universe attempts to **realistically** portray batman villains and humanize them. Obviously there are impossible elements, such as this fear toxin does not exist, but whatever.

Also remember folks, I am keeping ties and ideas from the Comic books because Cillian's scarecrow was not really shown much screen time. Dr. Crane has the ability to alter people's feelings by his words. Remember in a comic book he drove a person to kill themselves, just by talking to them! Also in a comic panel I recently saw, scarecrow was smoking a pipe and drinking wine. While I don't picture Cillian's scarecrow smoking, for certain wine is a suitable thing!

* * *

The weekend was passing by and Alexis was surprised to hear no words from Jonathan. Not a single text nor phone call arrived into her cellular device. Although, she never pegged for Jonathan to be one that texted or even called people often, the conversation yesterday implied that he would be getting in some form of conversation with her. It would be a lie if she did not say she was disappointed. It was also within that moment of disappointment she made a striking realization.

_Slow the hell down_, she took a deep exhalation and leaned back in the chair she was seated at in her dining room. Living alone and the social life of a studious doctor meant for no often interactions with friends. The apartment was quiet and still. The only noise was coming from inside her brain, which was growing excited at the next opportunity to see Crane. Her mind raced back to when he told her she was monophobic in her youth. This moment would completely go along with that idea. She hated being alone. Most her friends were no longer anywhere near her, and only so much company can be eased with family visits. Jonathan was the first friend she had since moving back to Gotham and she was suddenly jumping at the opportunity, making her feel desperate. Not only that, but she found him attractive. She hoped she was not confusing the mere fact he was the first to become her friend as something more than what it really was.

_I don't even know if I like him like this_, she tried to convince herself. But she knew, the minute she met eyes with his piercing blue ones, the confusion would only heighten. Perhaps it was due to the fact she could never tell what he was thinking that excited her. He was just an odd friend to have. He always was. It was difficult to be suddenly picking up the pieces of a friendship that occurred in high school. Their summer visits to the library were often and a bounding experience, but it felt awkward and back to square one now. They both changed so much over the years, more intelligence, more morality changes, more _physical_ changes…

She bit her lip.

The phone rang and her stomach had a sudden pang of excitement.

_Call from: Mom_

Disappointment.

Followed by kicking herself for even being disappointed.

Yet again, years later in her life, Jonathan Crane was causing Alexis to be confused.

Monday morning, Arkham was a bit busier than usual as a few police officers were chatting with doctors. Passing by, Alexis heard the name "Falcone" dropped a few times. Being an avid news program watcher, she knew he was the leader of one of the mobs in town and a dangerous man. Once she was in her office, Dr. Slater knocked on her door and wasted no time letting himself in.

"Dr. Crawford? A moment of your time?" He had asked, but it sounded more of a statement to her.

"Of course," She motioned for him to sit as she removed her jacket and placed it on the hook in her wall.

"We are having an upcoming court case that Dr. Crane is going to be testifying at regarding one of Falcone's thugs. He was their butcher, so to speak. Chopped up a lot of people and murdered countless others. Dr. Crane has interviewed and concluding that he is insane and should be treated here and that is what he is going to testify in a couple of days, but Dr. Crane has called and said he's running late due to family emergencies and we need you to conduct an interview with the patient as part of the legal procedure that requires a certain amount of interviews before it can qualify in court." He rubbed at his chin, which appeared to have stubble indicating he did not shave like he normally would.

It dawned on her the only thing that registered at first was the thought of if Jonathan was okay, or what family member was injured or died. Perhaps his grandmother? _Shit…Come on focus!_

"Of course, I'll interview the patient. When do you need me to?" She asked, looking through her files that she had organized by last name. "And what is his last name?"

"Zas, is the last name….and…. well… we need you to in the next hour. The police have brought him here and we have limited time constraints. I know, I know, that this is last minute, but Dr. Crane has never ran late before, and I am not going to question his family emergency. He might show up half way through your interview even and can join in. I had intended for you to observe and assist him, but..." Slater, looked stressed as he adjusted his glasses on his face a couple of times, breaking eye contact with Alexis regularly.

Nerves hit, but she agreed to do the interview. He handed her a couple of sample questions and a brief summary of information on his case and Crane's findings, which she studied the entire fifteen minutes she had to look over it. Her hair was worn down today and she ended up playing with the long dark red curls with her finger tips as she looked over the paper. She adjusted her black rimmed glasses and looked up to the sudden sound of her door opening.

Dr. Slater returned to her office to signal that he was ready to lead her to the suspect. She followed silently, a mixture between nerves and excitement for the fact she was finally doing something major for her line of work. Lead into a room with only a table and two chairs on opposite ends, she took her seat and clicked her pen open.

A bald man with various tattoos on his body entered the room in an orange one piece jumpsuit and chains around his hands. He was seated by a guard in the chair opposite of her and then the guard promptly left the room, but his shadow was barely visible standing directly on the other side of the door.

_Doctor to patient confidentiality is even a thing with criminals?_

The patient looked at her with a very blank stare, eyes cold and dark. He had a goatee that was a medium shade of brown, but that was his only prominent feature.

"Hello," She simply stated, breaking the silence.

"Where's Dr. Crane?" He asked in a very flat tone, although hints of irritation could be noted.

"He's running late. A family emergency. So I'm here for now. I'm Dr. Crawford. It's nice to meet you," She gave a small smile that showed her awkward nerves very plainly for him to see.

"I mean…. I don't mind having some red headed broad in the room with me. Believe me, you're better to stare at than Dr. Crane, but I don't feel comfortable talking to you and I would like him here now." Zas leaned back in his chair. "You got a light?"

"I actually don't," She awkwardly readjusted her glasses. "But regardless, he is not able to be with us at the moment, so you're stuck with this red headed broad. Sorry." She tried to make her tone sound light and playful. Using her gender to make him more relaxed, was not her original plan, but his comment made her change tactics.

After a half hour of chatting, Alexis started to pick up the signs that perhaps he was not mentally insane. She asked him simple questions regarding what happened, how he murdered his victims, what he felt, why he did the crimes he committed, but everything did not add up. Crane labeled him as a paranoid schizophrenic, but from his responses she gathered he was just in it for the power and money of being in the mob.

"So… you enjoy what you do?" She asked him again, summing up their entire conversation.

"I do what I have to. Falcone wants someone dead, I do it. I get paid and respect." He fiddled his hands on his lap while smirking at her.

She tapped her pen on the table a few times in thought. "Do you… see anything ever strange? Hear voices?"

"Dr. Crane has already covered those areas with me and I don't wish to discuss anything with you." He folded his hands together on the table.

"Well that isn't how this works, Mr. Zas. I ask the questions just as any doctor would. You can't rely on Crane to help you. What if he were to ever move, or quit? Who would you answer to then?" She tried to sound helpful in her tone, keeping a light approach to the subject.

"That won't happen and besides, I'll be cured by then and out on the streets a better person." He smirked and learned back in his chair.

She kept eye contact with him, his dark brown ones showing no remorse or signs of anxiety. She wrote a few things down, only pausing to look up at him. Something did not add up to her and the gut feeling inside of her pegged him to be faking his 'mental problems'. The ideas going against this thought process was the fact that Dr. Crane was so intelligent and able to pick up on emotions so well that the thought of this guy outsmarting Crane was laughable. Impossible was more so the word. Alexis could not question Crane's judgment unless this guy put on the act solely in front of Jonathan and did not bother with her. Another thought came into her mind and she accidently wrote out the word 'jealous' when she meant to write something else. She believed if she could prove this man's faking his insanity, she could impress Jonathan or easily upset him. Either way it would be entertaining to her.

"You know, that smirk on your face can leave anytime now." Alexis said, dropping the paper and pen to the table.

She was just going to go for it.

"I'm going to be honest with you. I don't believe a word you are telling me. Wanna know why? My father was a cop and could always tell when I was lying. He passed down the tricks of the trade and you sure are going down my mental checklist of signs a person is lying." Alexis kept her eyes connected to the man, even though it became slightly awkward.

"Lady, you don't know a god damn thing you're talkin' about, so why don't you just call it a day?" Zas shifted in his chair uncomfortably, while his tone started to show hints of irritation.

"I think I do, because you are sitting here and showing no signs of anything Dr. Crane wrote as your problems. All you did was sit here and talk about how happy it was to have money and gain power through illegal acts. You supported your family through doing so and did what you had to. I think you're a classic case of..." Alexis did not have time to finish her statement.

A series of events occur simultaneously as Alexis's glasses flew off her face as Zas had managed to climb out of the chair and leap across the table at her. It was at that moment that Dr. Crane had walked into the room and clearly not expecting to see his patient jump at Alexis, let out a yell for help. Alexis's chair fell backwards, her head hitting the concrete floor and her back receiving a sharp pain along her spine as it fell with the chair backwards. She let out a cry of mixed surprise and pain as his hands wrapped around her throat, squeezing down at her and yelling profanities. Before she could even bring her hands up to get his off her neck, Jonathan and a couple of police officers were on Zas, trying to pull his body away from her. His hands left her neck, but began to scratch at her face and arms. The chair underneath Alexis turned onto its side and one of her hands became crunched underneath the metal chair and the floor. With his weight off her body, she scrambled to a kneeling position as Dr. Crane got in between her and Zas, taking a couple hits to his upper arm. Zas yelled out as the cops were able to restrain him and handcuff him once again. They dragged him out of the room with his yells echoing out.

Jonathan immediately turned around, kneeling down next to her. It was the first time she saw Jonathan showing actual concern for her wellbeing. "A-Are you okay?"

At a loss for words, she realized that a warm liquid was traveling down her forehead. She wiped it with the hand that was not in pain from the crushing chair and saw that it was blood. "Just shocked…"

Jonathan kept their eyes locked as he was trying to read her. She could not tell if it was anger, concern, or worry that his eyes were showing, but the stare made her suddenly uncomfortable. He looked at the blood running slowly down the side of her face and clearly swallowed a lump of nerves in his throat.

"What happened!?" Dr. Slater entered the room, out of breath. He looked like he was a deer in the headlights as he saw Alexis with blood on her hands on face.

"He attacked her." Dr. Crane stood up and walked over to Dr. Slater.

"I'm fine…I just need to clean myself up. He just scratched me in a few places and I fell…" She tried standing up but shakily had to use the wall as support. Her legs felt like Jell-O, having been stiff with fear moment earlier.

"No, no you are not certainly fine. Dr. Slater, may I request she goes home for the day? Surely this has been enough excitement for her. I can make sure she makes it home alright." Dr. Crane stood sideways so both people in the room could see him clearly and read his facial expressions. He seemed stoic about the situation, his tone of voice remaining as calm as ever. He had returned to his normal self, even though moments ago he showed an emotion unexpectedly to her.

Dr. Slater put a hand on his chin and rubbed at his scruff, "She has to fill out paperwork and the trial will-"

"I'll handle everything and clear this situation up. Don't worry about it." Dr. Crane turned to face Dr. Slater directly as he spoke. The other man sighed and agree turning on his heel and leaving the room.

"Come on, Lex. Let's go get you washed up and home." Dr. Crane walked to her and eyed her over for a moment as she stayed leaning against the wall. "D-Do you need help to walk?"

He kept looking at her searching for something that was unknown to her.

"I'm fine seriously… I could have stayed on the rest of the day." She started to walk with him and led the way out of the room, wiping a bit more blood from the top of her head. She was in intense pain, but tried to bite her tongue about it feeling as if she was the fool of Arkham Asylum at that moment. To question Crane's judgment on Zas's mental state had earned her a physical attack from the patient. She had felt so correct about it all and was sure he was faking it, but clearly not as his violent outbreak was something Dr. Crane had written he had the tendency to have. She had to come up with some sort of lie to cover this situation up. If Jonathan were to know, he'd give her a lecture about her intellect and then she'd roll her eyes and argue with him. It was increasingly hard to concentrate on formulating a plan while the pain of her spine, hand, and head were taking over most of her preoccupation. She stopped at Jonathan's office door and remained leaning against the wall next to it as he caught up to her and unlocked it.

"I'll be right inside in one moment," He turned around and headed down the hall while Alexis stepped inside. His office was cluttered with books and seemed messier than she remembered it earlier in the week. His lab coat was thrown on the chair meant for guests to sit, so she remained standing until she decided to half sit and half lean on the side of his desk. She crossed her arms and stared at the various book titles on the shelf in front of her. She looked away and down at his desk. His briefcase on his desk and looked like it had messed up stacks of papers as he had thrown it down. Along the edge of the briefcase she could see that something brown was barely poking out the side and wondered if he needed a bigger suitcase, dubbing it to be his lunch bag or something.

He returned to his office with a medical kit and a cloth which was damp. He stopped in front of her, giving a reasonable distance and handed her the cloth. "You certainly won't forget your first time interviewing a member of the mob."

She took the cloth and started to wipe at her hands and forehead, leaving red stains in its blue fabric. Jonathan started to open the medical kit taking out bandages and rubbing alcohol. He placed the rest of the container behind her on the desk and stepped closer to her. "Here, give it to me. You missed a couple spots."

She resisted rolling her eyes and feeling defeated, gave him the cloth. She met his eyes and felt a pang of mixed emotions rushing through her. His slow movements of getting closer to her increased the feeling. He took a few more steps and then started to lightly pat away a couple spots on her face to remove the smeared blood. She felt as if the moment was more intimate than it should have been as he rubbed the cloth against her skin. His bottom lip ended up inside his mouth as he sucked it in concentration until he threw the cloth behind her and reached for the bottle of rubbing alcohol. Each time he reached for something, his body barely would touch her with a simple mixing of shoulders or the brush of his upper arm against hers. He would look at her every so often in the eye as if he was trying to read her still.

"So what did you do to make Zas attack you?" He broke the silence and he opened the bottle and turned it upside down against another cloth to soak it in the contents.

"He and I got into an argument due to his dislike of a woman being put in place of you at that moment. He did not like or respect me and insisted you be there. He just snapped I think ironically as you came in the door." She looked away as she spoke. A sudden short pain hit her upper forehead as he pressed the alcohol soaked cloth to her cut.

"I was going to warn you that this might sting, but…" He rubbed it for a second and then lowered the cloth. He locked eyes with her for what seemed like minutes, although it was only a few seconds. She had the sudden feeling of uncomfortableness as he gave her a blank stare. "If you insist on lying to me, then I don't feel you deserve a warning."

He met her eyes and his arrogant smirk is what made her break the contact. She felt intimidated by him, attracted to him, resentful, and jealous of him all at the same time. It was a rush of feeling that would mix into the pit of her stomach and make her feel anxious being around him.

"I'm not ly-" She began.

"Save your breath, Lex." He suddenly reached down and grabbed her hand, running his finger against her pointer and middle finger. "Does it hurt if I place pressure on them?" His warm touch sent goose bumps down her arms, but there was no pain.

"No, I just crunched them on the chair. I don't think their broken or anything." He placed more pressure on them and she winced questioning if he suddenly was doing that on purpose to get her to feel pain.

"Mmm… Well Lex, I'd say you are in shock at best right now and should go home and rest. Your mental state right now is not in the proper condition to be working here at the moment." He stepped away from her, giving her a bit more confidence to have breathing room. She rubbed at her fingers where he had put pressure and sighed.

"Are you okay? I heard there was a family emergency and…" She straightened up and turned around as he sat in his chair and started up his computer. He took his briefcase and placed it on the ground under his desk.

"If you are not going to share what caused Zas to attack you, why should I grace you with my personal stories? Is trusting me that hard for you Lex? Especially when we are in the same medical department." He seemed irritated and folded his hands under his chin, leaning on his desk.

_Where is all this coming from?_ She thought to herself, seeing he was in a terrible mood. The only time today he showed signs of not being irritated was when he thought she was in danger, but now whatever had happened during the weekend along with the fact she was lying to him had obviously made him reach his bubbling point.

"I'm just gonna go home then. Okay?" She made it sound like a question, but her tone came out much sadder than she had anticipated it too. She knew he'd notice it. She turned towards the door and began to walk out. Unlike the typical male, he did not even stop her which made her furious. She left the Asylum and headed home, dubbing today a mini vacation day from work. The drive home she remained furious, the bottle of wine she opened made her anxious, and the second glass into the wine made her just over the entire situation. She decided that whatever Dr. Crane's anger was towards her today, was due to something in his life stressing him out.

"Meow." Her cat climbed onto her lap as she sat watching television.

"I know…it's not even 2 o'clock and this is gonna be my third glass…"

"Meow."

"It's five o'clock somewhere kitten." She stroked its spine.

* * *

Meanwhile at Arkham, Crane had just finished filling out the paperwork. He rubbed his temple in irritation while stapling it all together. Dr. Slater had come in moments ago and said that Crane had to meet with Zas once more before he was transported back to the prison system awaiting his trial.

He had a deep fear that Alexis had figured out something or realized Zas was not insane. He decided, in order to calm himself down, that she would have said something if she had realized Zas and Crane were working together. Whatever happened in that interview though, he was going to find out somehow. He could not let this red headed novice, ruin everything he was working towards. In the back of his mind he was only slightly remorseful for how angry he came across to Alexis. His anger was not entirely due to her lying to him about the reason Zas attacked her. In fact it wasn't even something he would get mad about. He was irritated as Zas could have blown his cover and ruined everything.

His second irritation was how difficult it was to have Alexis added into the equation of his plans now.

_Sometimes more trouble than she's worth… _He thought to himself.

Leaving his office, he headed towards the room they were keeping Zas in. Upon entering, he found Zas had twice the amount of chains around him, keeping him contained to the chair. Once Crane was seated and the door was shut, only then he risked speaking.

"What the hell happened?" Jonathan stared blankly at Zas, keeping a calm and composed demeanor. Crane enjoyed his position of power over Zas. He took his seat and placed a stack of files on the desk, none of which had any true purpose, but to trick the law officials of Zas's 'illnesses'.

"Look, that bitch was on to me! She started accusing me of faking a mental illness." Zas spoke quickly, but sounded irritated himself. "I didn't wanna attack her, but I felt in that moment that it would be the only way to convince her. I didn't think that you even had a coworker of the same position of you! I was shocked when she came into the room! I thought you were doing your best to keep yourself alone?"

"You aren't in the position to be asking me these questions right now. My dealings and agreements with your boss have been set in stone and well maintained for over a year now. My dealings with the mob will not be ruined by your inability to keep your story straight." Jonathan gave him an intense glare, removing his glasses halfway through speaking.

Zas remained silent for a few moments, whether in thought or fear. "Who is she?"

"She's been added to the equation."

"Does she know anything?" Zas asked.

"No, but the situation is a bit awkward. I can't tell you much, but know I have met a new business man who is helping me out. Your boss Falcone is helping smuggle drugs into Gotham for me. His new price is to make sure that every one of his..." Crane swallowed the lump in his throat, "…helpers… gets out of jail and into Arkham where you will all be released reasonably… or find a way out."

"Isn't that the deal you had before this new business man showed up? I thought that's what you were doing anyways." Zas raised an eyebrow.

"It was, but I did it and Falcone paid me. This new arrangement, Falcone does not pay me anymore, but just aids in the smuggling of drugs. So perhaps if you get out soon enough, you will be helping him with that."

"What drug is this?"

Crane placed his glasses back on his face, "None of your concern."

"So how's the girl playing a role in this?" Zas leaned back in his chair.

"Contrary to first glances, she's very intelligent. She won't realize it, but she's going to help me with what I need to do."

"And what do you need to do?"

"Simple chemistry, equations, formulas… things a bit beyond your brain capacity." Crane smirked slyly, clearly insulting the man.

Zas looked like he was growing red in the face, but kept a remark in, trying to stay on good terms with the man that could get him out of jail.

"She's your pawn is what you're saying." Zas stated in a very matter-of-fact tone, but also appeared to be changing subjects to avoid yelling at Crane.

Jonathan nodded.

"Well at least she ain't sore for the eyes too. Don't waste your resources if you're only using her mind as your pawn…. If you catch my drift. Use all of her…" Zas let out a chuckle.

Jonathan abruptly stood up and shuffled the papers from the table into his hands. "We're done here. Become a better actor, Zas, or Falcone said to cut ties with anyone who cannot play the part."

Jonathan left the room and the cops walked in after him to take Zas away.

Over the weekend he had met with Ra's al Ghul's informant outside of Gotham. They spoke and had a conference call with the man called Ra's al Ghul himself. He was in an organization called the League of Shadows, whose goal was to demolish any form of corruption through any means. They wanted to destroy Gotham. The state of the city itself was not of Crane's concern, but the drug they possessed was. The first shipment was due to arrive tonight and he'd have it in his hands by tomorrow.

His part of the deal was the dump a liquid form of the drug into the water supply. He'd force all of Falcone's thugs that he got into Arkham to aid him. He was also allowed access to the drug in general for his personal use.

Crane also noted that he researched the League of Shadows, they destroyed cities throughout the years in history. Ra's al Ghul had never stated to him they wanted to destroy Gotham, but hold it for ransom. Crane simply nodded his head, knowing very well that they were attempting to use Crane as their own pawn. He did not care. If he had this drug in his hands, whatever happened to the city was their own business.

Back in his office, his mind was boggling with ideas.

The crazy fact that Alexis accidentally stumbled upon this drug through television blew his mind still to this day.

He however would never say that it made her smarter than him because she found it. It was just her resources that she had. She watched television. He didn't. That was her advantage.

Adding her to his plans was starting to crack and show the very weaknesses to it. Alexis almost found out Zas was actually a sane person. She was clever, he'd give her that. But she did not trust him completely nor did he show any trust in her. If he wanted to have her help him with the drug and creating the perfect formula, he'd have to get her wrapped around his finger.

The state of their relationship, friendship, whatever you'd call it was in a very dormant state.

"_Well at least she ain't sore for the eyes too. Don't waste your resources if you're only using your mind as your pawn…. If you catch my drift. Use all of her…"_

Zas's words rang in his head.

He'd have to charm her and get her to _like_ him, love him, something! The simple process of just motivating her to impress him was not enough. She gets irritated with him too much and soon she'd have no interest in him. He'd have to charm her and be smooth.

_Smooth._

He mentally laughed to himself as that was never something he'd think he'd ever say about himself. His only experience with women in college was a couple one night stands. He had been on two actual dates in his life, both were terrible. Just terrible. He'd have to look up online what women like that men do or something, because he was partially clueless.

_Or…I could easily close this door. What am I gaining by keeping her around?_

He ran scenarios through his head. If he were to keep her around, she'd help him out. He'd have to have fake stories and cover ups at every turn. Then… what? Once everything is done cut ties with her? Or convince her once she knows the truth to continue to help him? She wouldn't do that. She's not corrupt.

If he just stopped now, she wouldn't know anything or be a part of anything. She wouldn't get hurt.

He slammed a fist down on his desk in frustration.

_Why did I ever have to have that science class with her?_

It was a difficult choice to make, but part of him couldn't shake the fascination he had with her.

* * *

Alexis was on her fourth glass of wine, wandering around her kitchen in her shorts and baggy T-shirt with her old high school logo on it.

"Food…." She hummed to herself, trying to debate what to cook. Having a slightly big buzz from her wine, she reached her stage of drinking when she needed to eat. Having too much wine in an empty stomach was never a good thing. The worst part of the situation was that fact she couldn't find her glasses, so reading instructions off of cans came hard to her.

"Where are my glasses kitty?" She yelled out as her cat charged into the kitchen hearing her voice.

"MEOW!" The cat stretched its paws up her leg, seeking food.

"Shit…" She suddenly flashed to the moment Zas attacked her. Her glasses had flown off her face, but she never ended up retrieving them. "Ugh…. Their expensive!"

She sat down on the couch in defeat, sipping more of her wine. Deciding she'll cook during the next commercial break, her cat let her know how upset it was that she wasn't feeding it. It howled in anger so much, it took her a couple seconds to realize someone was knocking on her door.

"Coming!" She yelled, shooting up from her seated position. She sat up a little too quickly and had to hold a hand on her head for a moment. Keeping her wine glass in hand, she went to her door and opened it.

Piercing blue eyes behind a pair of glasses stared back at her, first intense and then clearly amused wandering to the glass in her hand.

"Am I interrupting something?" Jonathan asked, his hands folded behind his back.

The red in her face might have been from the wine, but at the moment felt from embarrassment. Of all the times he decides to make an appearance, it has to be when she started drinking and looked like a hot mess. Her dark red hair was in a tied back bun, but hopeless falling out to the point where one could not even tell if her hair was considered to be up or down. Her eyeliner was smudged and smeared under her eyes, and face red from her buzz.

"Just me throwing a pity party," She threw the words out without thinking. "Why are you here?"

In a better mind, she may have asked _"What brings you here?" _but a buzz was good enough to get her to say whatever came into her mind first.

"I found these-" He revealed his hand, holding a pair of thick black rimmed glasses, "-on the floor at Arkham and figured they must have been yours…and judging by the prescription… I am surprised you made it home alive." He teased her, knowing it was not that _terrible _of a prescription, especially one that would impair her ability to drive.

"My glasses!" She took them from his extended hand, her fingertips barely glossing over his. "Thank you…"

He remained still at the door, looking her over for a moment before looking down at the ground. "I must apologize for my behavior earlier… I acted angered by you when in reality you were not the cause of it at all and on top of that you were attacked and I blamed you entirely for Zas's actions."

Alexis wished she had a recorder with her, because her mind was floored. _Jonathan? Apologizing? I'm dreaming right?_

"Oh…" Was all she could muster out of her mouth and then regretted how stupid she must have sounded. "Its… fine really. I- did lie to you about why Zas attacked me. I don't even know why I did. I shouldn't have. I just feared you judge me, but now you are anyways and-"

She met his eyes, realizing she was rambling. "Would you like to come in? I was just gonna make dinner, but I am sure I can make an extra plate."

He seemed hesitant on what to say, but nodded and stepped into her apartment.

"Meow." The cat walked up to him and sat in front of his feet, while Alexis shut the door.

"Oh, I haven't missed you though at all." Crane told the cat sarcastically.

Alexis actually laughed out loud at that, walking to the kitchen and rummaging through its contents once more with her glasses on. Jonathan decided to sit at one of the kitchen stools placed by the island counter top in the center of the small kitchen. He placed his bag down on the table and took out a couple of folders, placing them next to his bag.

"How are you feeling?" Jonathan asked, watching her move throughout the kitchen and taking out various pots and pans.

"Well I've had four glasses of wine, so pretty good," She said as she triumphantly placed a box of pasta on the table. She filled a pot with water to boil.

"No," He let out an awkward chuckle. "I mean from the attack…"

"OH!" She giggled, "I feel much better. Just sore on my head is all."

"You know what I am going to ask you next, Lex." He let his hands slide across her counter top as he shifted in his chair.

Alexis continued to prepare the kitchen to cook, but kept the conversation going after a short pause. "Well, I am sorry to tell you, that I read your reports about him and the way he was acting in front of me just did not add up to what you had written."

"Wha-"

"No let me finish," She stopped him from interrupting.

"I was sitting there in my chair across from him in an internal debate to try to call him out on it, because he was acting so opposite of what you had diagnosed him with, but I kept thinking that how could this man Zas, fool you. YOU of all people. You're brilliant!" She blushed a little after this statement. _Curse my running mouth. _"But I did not think that you could be fooled by this man, but the other half of me wanted to prove you wrong and show you up. That's why I did not tell you. It's a bit of an embarrassing train of thought process I went through and I didn't know how to word it without getting lectured by you or pissing you off."

There was a pause here, with Crane staring her down. She had turned to look at him when she finished speaking, having placed the Ziti pasta in the boiling water.

"How about my gift to you, for telling me the truth, is me resisting the urge to lecture you on how to diagnose someone?" Jonathan gave a small smile to her.

"How about my second gift to you is not calling you an arrogant-" She paused, "Well see I'm stopping myself." She gave him a sarcastic smile, and then they both ended up letting out a small chuckle.

"Lex, all I will say is I have met with this man numerous times over the past month. You saw him one day, and most likely on a good day for the most part." Jonathan brushed a hand through his hair that was falling in his face. He brushed it backwards and placed his hands on his lap.

"Yeah cause him attacking me was a good day." Alexis joked as she stirred the pasta.

"No, but before he attacked you. His symptoms were not being shown outwardly. Then your argument triggered them. I'm not blaming you, it's a rookie mistake."

Alexis bit her tongue and continued to cook. She watched the pasta swish around in the pot of water for a moment, before grabbing butter out of the fridge to thaw out a bit so it would be spreadable for bread. She could feel Jonathan watching her every move, but kept her body facing the task at hand. "Well, I just had a gut feeling is all."

"Sometimes gut feelings are not the wise decisions to be made. You should follow logic." Jonathan's eye diverted to the cat that was pawing at his pant leg. He kicked his leg lightly to try to get the cat away. They ended up having a slight stare down, before the cat backed off and jumped up on the counter to bother Alexis.

"I just don't ever want you to get mad at me. You're not exactly the nicest person when you get pissed." Alexis admitted, dubbing the alcohol for the reason she was speaking so freely and honestly.

"My temper and patience only is evoked by those who commit foolish actions." Jonathan said coolly. "A perfect example would be your made up story of why Zas attacked you. A foolish action."

"I think you get mad at more than simple foolish actions of others…" Alexis mumbled, knowing Jonathan would not confess to that. He acted arrogant and rude often, but perhaps in _his_ mind that would not fall under the category of 'having a temper'. Deciding to drop the subject, she went over to a cabinet a little off to the side in her kitchen/dining room and retrieved the half empty bottle of wine. "Care for a glass?" She offered him, making eye contact for the first time in a while.

"Riesling?" He inquired, seeing the white wine in her hand, but unable to see the label.

"I prefer sweeter wines than dry, if you want something a little more tart-"

"No, no," Crane raised a hand in the air for a moment dismissing her sentence, "I just was curious what wine you selected. A person's taste in wine says a lot about their character."

"Oh?" She reached for another glass and placed it on the counter space in front of him. She retrieved her own empty glass and began to pour him his glass and her now fifth glass. She would sip this one very slowly, she decided. "What does this wine say about me?"

Jonathan took the glass, swirling its contents around momentarily taking in the scent of the wine. He began to sip it and placed the glass back down before speaking. "You do not like dull and safe choices."

"I didn't know you were a horoscope for wine drinkers." She teased, raising the glass to her lips and sipping it slowly.

"I don't_ just_ study subjects related to the mind, Lex. I do have interests in other things." He took another sip.

Alexis strained the pasta and threw it into the empty pot, stirring in some butter and sauce. "Well, that is surprising as you never seem to show interest in anything but your books and fear and the mind and well… that is pretty much it." She grabbed two plates and scooped some alfredo covered pasta on to them. She placed a few rolls on the plate as well and put it in front of Jonathan. She placed her plate by the empty chair that was adjacent to Crane's. She'd now sit to his left on her own side of the table, placing the butter in between them and a few things of silverware.

"It's easy to judge books by their covers isn't it?" Jonathan mused while picking up a fork and twirling the pasta around it. He took a bite, running his tongue on his bottom lip after consuming. "Thank you Lex, this is very good."

"I got bored in college dorm rooms and studied cooking in my spare time. It's turned into a hobby now. I'd be glad to test recipes on you. My roommates were never around to try anything."

"How was college for you?" He asked.

"It was alright. I studied a lot, had roommates that got drunk every night, graduated top of my class... What about you?" She began to pick at her food.

"Exactly the same as your experience, except I got a single dorm room and was able to be free of those pesky frat boys that were idiotic."

"I never would have guessed that you of all people would be back in Gotham and working at Arkham. I was floored when I saw your name on the wall on my first day. I was not expecting it. I kept thinking to myself, before I realized it was you, that there was no way you were back in this rat hole of a city." She smiled, keeping her tone of voice light and inviting.

"Trust me, I didn't want to be back here, but work is hard to find. Through my studies, it is sad to say, but Arkham holds the worst cases of mentally insane patients than anywhere in the country. My dream was to work with the worst of the worst. To find answers and cures for the questions and diagnoses given to these types of people. Arkham just fit so well with my career aspirations, but I do hate this city."

"You and I both," She chuckled, pointing her fork with pasta at him before placing it in her mouth. "I never wanted to work in Gotham, but a job is a job. My mother of course is thrilled I am back here. She wants me to visit constantly or stop by her flower shop and just talk… I just want to move far away. But now I am stuck."

"You just feel like you are not getting what you want out of life, right?" Jonathan sounded more like he was telling her this fact, rather than asking.

His stare became suddenly intense, leaving a weird tingling feeling done her spine and her arms to erupt in goose bumps. It was his stare that made the, "Yes…" come sadly out of her mouth. Her tone did not hide her disappointment with her place in life.

"Do you have many friends around here? Do you do anything with your spare time?" He pried, sounding like he was treating her like a therapy session.

"No. Most of my friends live far away. I just… stay here. I work… then come home and… drink wine I guess…" The words spilled out, but her entire body felt off. It was as if a wave of depression suddenly hit her. She wondered if it was the wine, as her eyes left his and looked to her wine glass. She met his eyes again and had a sudden feeling in the pit of her stomach of anxiety.

"Meow!" The cat broke their intense stare and slowly the feeling of depression exited her body as she reached down and placed her cat on her lap. She stroked its fur, trying to compose herself from her sudden sadness. The fact that Jonathan pointed out inadvertly (so she thinks), how lonely she really was made her feel sick to her stomach. Working in Gotham led to a daily boring routine and no sense of adventure. The fact that Jonathan walked into her life, turned her routine into a mixed up mash of emotions and confusion, which actually excited her. She figured out her fascination with her must have been just because it was something different than everyday life. Her mind eased, realizing her feelings were not that of a fifteen year old girl with a crush, but of a lonely woman almost in her thirties that feared being alone and depressed the rest of her life.

They ate the rest of their food chatting about a variety of subjects such as Gotham's crime rate, why Crane diagnosed Zas with the disorders he claimed him to have, and finally Crane shared a few stories of how unintelligent some of the other Arkham staff was. Alexis went to clean up, but surprisingly Jonathan stopped her and offered to clean up for them. After a few times protesting, she accepted his offer and filled their glasses back up with wine, before going to the living room and sitting down. She took one of the blankets off the floor and wrapped it around her like a cocoon. She turned the television onto the news station and Jonathan returned within a few minutes, taking the other end of the couch as his seat. There was two cushions on the couch, but Jonathan remained so close to the edge of his side of the couch that the space between them was rather abundant.

"So… I need to tell you why I am really here," He turned his head to regard her, but looked back at the television, clearly not actually paying attention to what was on the screen.

"My glasses and an apology was not the reason?" She teased, removing her glasses and rubbing her eyes a moment. She placed her glasses on the side table next to her, and removed the hair tie from her head. She ran her fingers through her dark red hair while they spoke, taking out the knots and tangles within it.

"No, I clearly just came here for free food." He paused, and she looked at him with an eyebrow raised. His tone was so serious, that it took his small smile for her to realize he was joking. "No I actually came here to tell you something important."

The pit of her stomach became anxious again. _What the hell is going on?_

"I have one rule for me to tell you what I am going to tell you and that is do not ask _how_, understand?"

"Alright." She held her glass in her hand tightly.

"That lead you had from that television program about a drug being able to induce fear… you were right."

It took her a moment to react. She blinked a couple times, with her mouth hanging open just slightly. She sucked on her bottom lip in thought for a moment.

He continued as she kept silent. "I have found a way to acquire this flower that is supposed to be able to show you your greatest fears and I think through experimentation of this drug we could find a way to get the opposite effect."

Alexis put her glass down and met his eyes. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was always something sinister about his icy blue eyes, even when he did not mean to be so. His stare was just the most intense thing a person could imagine. Such blue bright eyes that show very little emotion was a scary thought to her. It was also one of the reasons that she pegged herself getting so angry at him often. He couldn't act like any other normal human being and show what he really thought about a situation. Leaving her unexplainable train of thought, she spit out the first words that came to her, "How?"

Jonathan made a 'tisk' noise, "Aw, Lex you said you wouldn't ask that…" His words were like velvet, smooth and with ease.

"I'm sorry," She played with her fingers, touching hands together and idly moving them with her increasing anxiety. "It's just crazy to think that this is real and how in the world you came to acquire it."

"I know a lot of people and traveled abroad in my studies. But my point is, I don't want you to think yourself suddenly smarter than me," He teased and snapped all anxiety out of Alexis. The feeling was replaced by familiar anger, but she was sort of grateful to have him return to his normal speech. "You only were able to make this discovery due to the sheer fact I do not watch television."

"You're just jealous I was able to create a lead before you." She rolled her eyes, but could not hide her smile.

"That is entirely not the case as I am sure I would have figured it out at some point, but you just sped up the process." He sounded entirely smug about the situation. "My point is, I want to ask if you have any interest in continuing to help me. I should have my hands on this flower tomorrow and then we could conduct tests on its chemical composition. I don't really think you will have as much knowledge as me in the chemicals surrounding fear, but an extra set of hands and a different perspective of the tests could be quite useful."

"I would be happy to help you," She smiled at him eager to assist him and have something at least a little exciting in her life. Her new friendship with Jonathan, she knew would not be an easy road, but she did somewhat enjoy his company.

_And he's not that bad of a guy to stare at_…. She blushed internally, shifting her focus to his thin arms resting in his brown jacket. She never cared for guys that were built and bulky, but Jonathan wasn't exactly super lanky anymore either. His arms, were simply… arms. No extra meat or bulk, but not entirely skin on bone. It was just a perfect combination, but her eyes immediately went back to his realizing she was staring for an abnormal amount of time at his arms.

"Good, well I am unsure when I will be receiving it tomorrow, but within the next few days we should use the labs in Arkham to conduct our research." Crane seemed on edge and Alexis couldn't tell why.

"Won't they question what we are doing?" Alexis let out a yawn, not realizing how tired she actually felt.

"That is why we would do it at night, when no one is around. No one else besides us will know what is going on. That way once we make our big break in our research, we will get all the credit. Of course, I will get most of it." He smiled another smug smile and Alexis got the sudden urge to throw something at him, reminding her of their childhood. "I'll just give you a heads up when we should meet."

"Meow!" The cat suddenly jumped on Jonathan's lap, causing him to jump from the unexpected lump of fur rubbing against his chest looking for affection.

"Hey! Get off!" Crane's tone of voice growled almost.

Alexis giggled. "Awh, it likes you."

"Well the feeling is not mutual." He pushed the cat off of him and stood up. "Well, I must be headed home. It has certainly been a long day, but I must thank you for agreeing to this."

"Yeah," She smiled, "It will be fun."

"Hmmpt….fun" He mused, "Goodnight Lex."

"Night…"

He walked himself out of her apartment.

Her mind was buzzing with thoughts. Conducting a big research project with him was something she never would have imagined herself doing. She could not shake the feeling that however he managed to acquire the flower was not through legal means, but she decided to try to not focus on that. Perhaps he knew drug dealers or something. She herself interacted with a few during college, not to buy anything, but just merely friends in her classes that happened to sell illegal products to their peers.

Most of all, she was excited that he thought of her at least in _some_ form, intelligent enough to assist him.

The next wave of excitement came seeing he left his full glass of wine on her table. Looking to her half full glass, she decided chugging both glasses and going to bed would be the most suitable option for her next.

* * *

Stepping into his car, Crane let out a sigh.

He had made his choice. The entire time he was in her apartment, he was in a deep internal debate. To end the conversation and leave or to mention the drug and offer her a deal.

He supposed if worst came to worse, he'd just have to shoot the drug into her system and make her forget everything if she were to turn on him. Looking at his phone, he saw a missed text message from the man delivering him the drugs. Arriving earlier than expected, he decided to first stop and get a coffee and then be off to pick up his first round of this blue flower. He in no way was going to let Alexis be a part of the first testing of this drug. He had to make sure it even worked first.

He'd have to create fake files and papers on the drug and give them to her, so that she would not see his true intention. His primary goal was to create a liquid form of it. His second goal was to be able to alter its strength.

_Here we go…_ He thought to himself as he started his car. He looked down at his suit which was now covered in cat fur and let out a frustrated growl. _I'm going to kill that cat one day._

* * *

"I lost my keys!" A doctor was sighing to the receptionist as Alexis entered Arkham the next morning.

"I would call the janitor, but he hasn't shown up to work today." Judy said while filing her nails. "He didn't even call out. Rude…" She sighed.

"Hey, Mark is a nice guy. Something probably happened or his alarm didn't go off. But…ugh. Does Slater have any spare keys?" The doctor asked.

"You could ask him yourself," Judy was examining her nail.

The doctor turned to head down the hallway just as Alexis was. He looked at her and smiled, "Hi, I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Phil Keator."

He was a handsome man in his early thirties, she pegged him to be. He had curly brown hair and a face covered in light stubble, but it suited him. His perfect white teeth showed the work of expensive whitening and straightening and his suit had labels on them which she knew to be expensive. His entire aura was inviting and warm. He extended a hand to her.

"I'm Alexis Crawford," She smiled shaking his firm hand.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jonathan entering Arkham and slip past the two down the hallway. She could feel him watching her as he passed. She met his eyes and gave a small smile to consider him.

"You work with Dr. Crane don't you?" Phil asked, placing his hand in his pocket.

"Yeah, I do." She pushed her hair on one side behind her ear and looked down, avoiding eye contact out of nerves from how handsome his green eyes were.

"I don't know how you do. I wouldn't have the patience for it. I mean, we're all doctors here, but his language is even too complex for me. When I speak to him it's like reading a boring text book. But, I guess he has his head firmly on his shoulders. Respect for a man who can retain all the knowledge in our medical field." Phil chuckled. "Well, I'll see you around, Alexis."

Phil walked towards the opposite hallway towards Dr. Slater's office, while Alexis went to her office. The day was nothing out of the ordinary. News that the Zas trial was going to be postponed a few weeks had her stacking his paperwork far below other patients that needed treatment and evaluation before him.

Towards the end of the day, she met with Jonathan to discuss a few files. He did not bring up anything regarding their project or the drug, which she remembered him saying he would acquire today. She did not press on the issue or want to bring it up herself. Their talk was purely professional. Returning to her office she packed up her belongings and sent out a few emails. She ended up staying an hour later than she had to, organizing her filing cabinet. When she finally did leave, she passed by one of the hallways and noticed something odd.

Jonathan was at the end of the hallway waiting for the elevator to come. When it opened he stepped inside and the doors closed behind him. She headed towards the elevator, as she did pass it on her way out of the building. The odd thing she noticed was the fact the numbers on the screen just above the elevator, showed that Jonathan went to the basement floor. Dr. Slater had specifically told her that the basement was under construction and nothing of use was down there. She looked back at the screen once more to see if she was misreading it, but sure enough the arrow and words "B-1" were plastered on it.

_Hmm… Maybe there's old files down there or something…_ She brushed it off and continued her walk out of the building.

"Hey Alexis." A voice said slightly behind her as she exited Arkham.

"Oh hey Phil." She said, sending him a smile.

"Worked late today?" He asked, obviously knowing the answer.

"Just organized my files and it took a little longer than expected." She chuckled as they walked towards the parking lot together.

They continued their small talk as they reached the parking lot, stopping behind Alexis's car and spending a little time talking about their colleges and degrees. Talking with Phil was a simple enough task, compared to talking to Jonathan to say at the least. When talking to Jonathan, she had to plan her words carefully and often was confused as to what emotion he was having. Phil was more warm and inviting. She felt at ease when speaking to him. They exchanged goodbyes and Alexis went home, forgetting for a few moments about anything to do with Jonathan Crane.

The next two days went by almost like clockwork. Alexis went to work, ended up spending her lunch break with Phil and a few other doctors. She'd see Jonathan use the elevator to go to the basement floor when she left Arkham and then she'd go home. Her interactions with Crane were on a professional level and she started to question if the drug he said he was going to acquire, fell through and he was too embarrassed to bring it up.

She went home and was just changing out of her work clothing when her phone went off.

"Hello?" She said holding the phone between her face and shoulder as she used her hands to pull her jeans on.

"Lex, its Jonathan. I was wondering if tonight you'd want to come back to Arkham with me to use the labs. It took a few extra days to get the flower to me. My friend was sick." He spoke calmly.

"Yeah, I could do that. You wanna pick me up, or you wanna meet there?"

"I could pick you up. I am sorry if the past few days I've been keeping to myself. We can't discuss this with people around, I am sure you already could tell what was going on."

"Oh, yeah yeah." She lied.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'll be outside in twenty."

"See you then." He hung up, and she threw her phone on her bed, allowing her to button up her pants. She changed into a white button up blouse and untied her hair from its tight bun. She considered to herself what she might want to bring with her, but decided that everything they needed would be at Arkham or he would have in his procession.

"This feels like were doing something illegal." She chuckled, shutting the door behind her as she climbed into his car. She buckled her seatbelt and looked him over. He was still in business attire, a blue suit with a brown sweater vest underneath. The amount of layers he wore seemed too formal for this time and occasion, but she figured he liked to be professional at all times.

"We are not committing any crimes, Lex, I can assure you that. But if we told anyone what we were doing they'd want to be in on it. It's a shame these days that people are only out for money and not for trying to really create something new and for research purposes."

"You're right on that. It is a shame, but it's also a shame this world is based around money. I don't really think everyone is out for money," She ran her hand against the side of the car door, feeling its textures. "The world we live in just revolves around money. Without it you cannot live. People don't wanna waste time they have to do things that do not have a gain to it."

"I guess you and I are different then." Crane stated. He was a safe driver, not speeding or trying to go through yellow lights. She pegged him to be a very orderly and safe person. She'd bet his own apartment was neatly organized and the type of place you have to take your shoes off before entering. She mentally laughed at the thought of Crane scolding her for having her shoes on his clean floor, should she ever go to his apartment. They pulled into Arkham and parked in the back lot. Stepping outside, Crane kept his keys out as he unlocked a back entrance. He held in his hand a large bag, which he slung over his shoulder. Turning various hallways with Alexis following closely behind, they made their ways to one of the smaller labs on the third floor. They kept quiet as they walked and Jonathan locked the door behind them. They had passed very little staff, giving them a small nod of acknowledgement whenever they saw someone. Now within the lab, they grabbed a couple of the white coats hanging from the hooks near the entrance.

"Alright let's see what you have," Lex stated taking her glasses out of her purse and putting them on.

He retrieved a zip lock bag from his satchel, which contained numerous blue flowers. He carefully put gloves on and took out one of the flowers, placing it on the table. He took out one more, and turned the light on a microscope. They both took a flower and began their work. Placing mouth masks over their face to avoid inhalation (just to be safe), they both began cutting the flower into smaller pieces. They both took off conducting their own tests, Alexis blissfully unaware that Crane already performed these tests earlier himself. She examined it under a microscope and used other chemicals to extract its compounds.

After nearly two hours of collecting data, they both agreed that this plant had an unknown chemical within it that could produce hallucinogens and paranoid feelings.

"I'm certainly not testing this on myself," Alexis lowered her brows, with her hands on her hips.

"Well," Crane readjusted his glasses, "How are we going to know the effects of it?"

"This data is enough to prove it. We don't need to experiment with this, what if something bad happens?" Alexis wrote down a few notes. The room itself was dim, the only light coming from two table lamps and the light on the microscopes. The shadows created a dark intimate setting, creating shapes of dark on their faces and curves within their hands and neck. Alexis, although fascinated with everything, felt a bit of thrill from the fact they were conducting these secret experiments. Even though Crane assured her nothing they were doing was illegal, it felt like a stealthy mission they were on. She questioned mentally what they would say if anyone came into the lab and asked what they were doing.

"Okay, okay," He sighed. "The goal here would be to create this into a liquid form. It's much easier to work with and easier to find ways to create the opposite effect. This flower is too bulky and fragile. We need to extract the compounds within it and dissolve it into the desired liquid form."

They began working again, as the clock ticked on into the early hours of the morning. They tried and failed numerous times, creating liquids that made the compound that induced fear become nothing more than water. They wrote down formulas and equations on the white board and pieces of paper, testing theories, but nothing seemed to work. Looking at the time, Alexis began to give up hope for the night.

"We have to work in five hours Jonathan!" She pointed to her cell phone. "We should be getting home."

Jonathan was looking very frustrated at all their failed attempts. "Perhaps in any spare time you have tomorrow, you could reevaluate some of these formulas."

"Of course." She smiled at him. "It's all really amazing though. I bet this flower has never been examined under a microscope, if it's from the foreign country it's believed to be grown in."

"We have got our work cut out for us then." Crane smiled back at her and they packed up their belongings.

The drive home was quiet, except for the radio which Alexis fiddled with. Whenever she found a satisfying station, Jonathan would change it to a jazz station, to which she would change it to another station and so on. They argued about music for the rest of the drive, trying to seem like their taste was better than the other's. Pulling up to Alexis's apartment, she shut the radio off completely and gave him a sarcastic, somewhat flirty smile. "That's what I think of your music Dr. Crane."

"Alright," He smirked. "Out of my car."

"See you tomorrow, Jonathan."

"Bye Lex."

Alexis walked out of the car and looked back at him only once on her walk to the front steps of her apartment. She had a sudden feeling of butterflies in her stomach inexplicably when she saw he was looking to her as she walked to the door. It was in that moment, that she realized she did like Jonathan Crane. She liked him as more than a friend, but it was also when she realized that the chances of returned affection were slim and not only that but his style of life, his mannerisms, his ideology, was not something that might allow such a relationship to blossom. Accepting these two facts, she felt a sudden wave of relief wash over her.

She was going to let whatever happened happen. She would stop obsessing over when he'd call her next or her actions around him. The cards would fall wherever they may. It pleased her that she had the ability to admit and accept this idea. Of course, following it would be hard, but that was what life was about.

She trusted Jonathan, but knew his social awkward tendencies prevented him from being the average male.

If he ended up liking her back, so be it.

If that Phil doctor, who suddenly popped in her head, ended up liking her, she wouldn't be opposed to it either.

_I'm nearly thirty damn it, I can have some options._

Her phone went off, signaling a text message.

_Message from: Jonathan Crane_

_I forgot to say thank you._

She smiled outwardly, climbing the stairs to her apartment's floor. Yeah, it was going to be hard to follow her own advice…

* * *

With his text message sent, Jonathan drove back towards Arkham. He decided a text would suffice as a thank you, as he needed to keep her hooked and on good terms. He really did secretly appreciate her help. Crafting a formula to make the fear toxin into liquid was a challenge. He wouldn't want to have anyone else's help but hers. Everyone else was a bit… to bluntly put it… dumb to him.

He took a five hour energy shot out of his pocket and gulped it down, before shutting off the lights of his car and returning to the back entrance of Arkham. He made his way to the elevator, where he pressed the button for the lowest level. Taking a left, he walked through the unfinished pipe lined hallway to a set of large double doors. He opened and looked down at the room filled with various boxes, pipe lines, and one man strapped to a table with a blindfold on.

Crane let out a smile as he slowly walked towards the man. He set his briefcase down on a small table next to him and retrieved the brown burlap mask inside of it. He placed it on his head and took out one of the flowers. With a match box already on the table, he created a small flame from a match and lit the flower on one of its ends. He placed the flower close to the man's nose, who was already trying to hold his breath and resist it. A cold sweat was breaking out from his forehead.

The man wore a blue jumpsuit with the words 'custodian' on it. There was splatters of blood on various parts of the uniform and a wet spot towards the lower part of it suggesting he had urinated on himself whether out of fear or shire amount of time being held down on the table.

Crane removed the blindfold and the man erupted into screams.

"Scarecrow! Scarecrow!" The man started to yell.

Jonathan was smiling underneath his mask, feeling empowered and dominate; a feeling that was never present in his life until he placed his homemade mask on him and created utter fear within this man.

"Keep screaming. No one is going to hear you." The Scarecrow cooed, keeping the flower near the man's nose to make sure he got a bigger dose of it.

* * *

That's all for now folks. It's getting to the good parts. It's really challenging for me to have to write characters bonding in such a short time, but in movies most of the time people bound quickly, but I am trying to keep it realistic without making it long and dragged out. Poor Alexis does not know what she is in for as this wild ride continues. I am unsure how much I can cram into the next chapter. Once I reach around 12,000 words I try to find a reasonable place to end the chapter, I don't wanna give you too much each chapter. But Alexis and Scarecrow interaction is happening soon folks! Minds will be blown, fear toxin injected, and an awkward date will leave you asking, whose paying the bill anyways? STAY TUNED! –Love Kait.

Ps: Please review. I see no point in writing this, If I do not know if you all like it or want more!


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